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    In-law problems?

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    • P Offline
      popireis
      last edited by

      I've heard stories of MIL trying to be good guy and making the mother looks bad on purpose. My friend's MIL told her DS that mummy doesn't love him so go and stay at ah ma house better cos ah ma loves him :slapshead:


      Mine, when DSs were young, would always ask them: \"who is better, nai nai better or mama better?\", \"who cooks better...?\" etc

      Worse was once (or twice, can't rmb), she even compared me to my maid.
      She asked DSs who they liked better, the maid or me, who takes better care of them, whose cooking they prefer, who does the housework better etc... :siao:

      In my heart I was thinking, so what now, u prefer to have a maid as your DIL? Ask all your sons to marry maids instead....

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      • J Offline
        janet88
        last edited by

        i once heard a grandmother ask the grandson if her cooking or 婆婆 is better...that is ridiculous :mad: she is asking the grandson to make a comparison and it isn't fair...why don't she ask the grandson who he loves more - mother or father?

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        • T Offline
          TheAnswer
          last edited by

          Try not to ask your kids to compare. There is no point comparing.

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          • P Offline
            popireis
            last edited by

            janet_lee88:
            i once heard a grandmother ask the grandson if her cooking or 婆婆 is better...that is ridiculous :mad: she is asking the grandson to make a comparison and it isn't fair...why don't she ask the grandson who he loves more - mother or father?

            I've heard all the above from MIL!

            Nai Nai or Po Po who loves them more...
            Who u like more - pa pa or ma ma...

            Its all ridiculous.

            My DSs very impatient when she kept asking, so every qns jus answer, ALL oso good, ALL oso nice hahaha...
            Then she stopped LOL.

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            • J Offline
              janet88
              last edited by

              popireis:
              janet_lee88:

              i once heard a grandmother ask the grandson if her cooking or 婆婆 is better...that is ridiculous :mad: she is asking the grandson to make a comparison and it isn't fair...why don't she ask the grandson who he loves more - mother or father?


              I've heard all the above from MIL!

              Nai Nai or Po Po who loves them more...
              Who u like more - pa pa or ma ma...

              if mine here ever asks son who he loves more, she will be in for a BIG disappointment.

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              • K Offline
                KSmom8
                last edited by

                straffan23:
                My MIL likes to be the \"good guy\" with my children. So she will not try to teach or correct my children at all - things like keeping the toys after playing, returning the books to the shelves, good eating habits, etc etc ... In fact she will play along - take out my yoga mat from the storeroom because \"DS said wanna play\", take the forbidden toys from above the cupboard because \"DD said wanna play\"... etc etc. Worse part is that the flat would be tossed upside down and then she would go home.


                My children also know that they can commit murder with MIL around, so they would scream and shout at MIL. MIL would just laugh :siao: :siao: - - I used to scold the DD when she does that cos it's rude... but once my daughter said \"Mama is the bad guy, always scold us. Even when I shout at Amah, she just laugh what...\" :yikes: From then on I never scold my children because/in front of her. Without her around they are always well behaved. :xedfingers:
                Grandparents tend to spoil the grandkids. My kids will become naughtier after my mum looks after them - yes, they get their way with grandma at home. Thankfully, my MIL does not look after or play with them, I think she only interested in bragging rights. Anyway, easier to speak to my mum ( than MIL ) when all this \"spoiling\" gets out of hand.

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                • J Offline
                  janet88
                  last edited by

                  mine here also the same…only wants bragging rights that she is grandmother to xx number of grandchildren…blah blah but just for show…my parents give way but not to the extent of spoiling.

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                  • K Offline
                    KSmom8
                    last edited by

                    popireis:


                    Worse was once (or twice, can't rmb), she even compared me to my maid.
                    She asked DSs who they liked better, the maid or me, who takes better care of them, whose cooking they prefer, who does the housework better etc... :siao:

                    In my heart I was thinking, so what now, u prefer to have a maid as your DIL? Ask all your sons to marry maids instead....
                    Prefer maids... Probably so.

                    My MIL chose to believe my ex-maid whom she hardly knew than to believe in her DIL of more than 10 years. Still can't believe it. Trying to understand, forgive and forget.... But still still working on it ...

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                    • K Offline
                      KSmom8
                      last edited by

                      janet_lee88:
                      mine here also the same...only wants bragging rights that she is grandmother to xx number of grandchildren...blah blah but just for show...my parents give way but not to the extent of spoiling.

                      My children are her only grandchildren... Yet MIL makes no effort to get to know them and never offered to babysit once. Does not play with them, look after nor feed them. DH says she's forgotten how to. How does a mother forget such things? However, always have lots to say about how to raise them, feed and clothe them.

                      My mum looked after DS1 when DS was younger and I was working. Whenever DH was irritated with my mum, he would say MIL wouldn't do this if she was looking after DS. Finally, couldn't stand his complaints anymore, told him to stop complaining, that MIL never offered to look after DS. DH finally shut up.

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                      • J Offline
                        janet88
                        last edited by

                        My hubby here is blinded by her acting. I know she is acting, bcos she behaves differently when sons are not around. Never once has she been interested in what my kids like to eat or how they are. Never. But come any occasion, she will ask them ‘我是谁’.

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