In-law problems?

[janet88]

Hi buds,

You are lucky to have an understanding FIL.
Mine acts like a mouse at home…quiet on the outside and cunny on the inside. Very scary.

It’s never easy to stay with ILs. NEVER.

Hi Tree Nymph,
Have you thought of getting your own place ? Why wait till your kids have grown up ? You need a life too. The fortunate thing is you are holding a full time job, or else will go mad staying at home. My hubby’s mother only regards her children as humans, not her son-in-law or daughters-in-law. She puts on a show in front of her sons, like some poor old thing. Behind their back, her devil horns appear. This is the reason why my hubby will never see her true self.

[tree nymph]

janet,

Yes, thinking of moving out. but FIL kept begging us to stay. Honestly, I pity him, and i feel lousy leaving him behind the house. But if we don’t move, it will be unhealthy for us too… we were chased out of the house twice already by MIL! that is another story liao… FIL kept begging us to come back and to stay… but this is also not solving the problem…

[auntieM]

Really really not easy .....


Dear Buds, my hubby is extremely nice to my parents, even after all these years. I am the only child so when we first dated more than 20 years ago I told him I would like to stay with my parents.
He travels frequently so it was good to have my folks around.

[buds]

auntieM, guess as an only child either

you stay on your own or stay with yer
own parents would be the most ideal
arrangement in your case.. :celebrate:

Well, you're one of the few lucky ones
who managed to get out of the rut, aye!

Your hubby understands your tension
with his mommy?

[buds]

jedamum:

erm.... very little husbands have issues with their MILs leh... hearsay is that mothers are generally kinder to their daughters (and their husband which meant in your position) than to their DIL.

ok, having said that, i have very good PIL, not without my share of rant, but good enough to agree with me that my husband (her son)'s interest is top priority....and they cook for me too :oops: ...Envy me anot? :oops:

Wuuaaah.. envvviiiiieeee.. :please:

So, you're living quite the tai-tai life then uh jedamum.. :lol:

[buds]

tree nymph:

MIL is not so stingy on buying stuff for the kiddo. clothes from salvation army, is only $2 per piece, so cheap and still very good and new hor... its ok for me lah, i will still let the kids wear. cannot complain on this.

Dis part, i dun mind oso.. as long as the material isn't something
gawdy or scratchy, cos as much as i hate to say it... my girls sorta
have those kinda expensive skin type. ie. SENSITIVE SKIN. :lol:

I go by the mantra : value for money.

[orangeme]

janet_lee88:

Hi Ladies,


Oh dear, to think you have suffered all these.
I refuse 'honey honey' with my PIL or they will climb on top of my head. My son at 10 knows how fake they are...I don't brainwash him. I never stop hubby from going back to see them, but do not expect me to go along.

Hi ladies,

So sorry to hear all these sufferings here...
tree nymph, bite yr teeth and do what you think is right, we're after all the parent of the child and shd have the final say.

Thumbs up : for not going to cane him anymore for silly things like that (i got a feeling that the little boy (apart from his bad moments that day) maybe also doesn't like his a mah :evil: hahaha, kids know the BEST! of course, the a mah didn't treat his dear mummy well what, and don't be surprised kids are very sensitive and is it this 'mu zi lian xin'??) Your heart must have torn apart when the cane landed on him, poor boy & mum!

I am so glad that i don't have to stay with my ILs but my hubby being the only son (he has a younger sis who is still single and staying with them), i guess that i have to face 'reality' when they are too old to look after themselves - we have to play our part lor....

i always jokingly tell hubby that i am counting down to the no. of good days that we've left... they're both in the early 60s now so ....*counting*

[tree nymph]

orangeme,

thanks! but not all in-laws the same. some are really nice. i guess it all depends on the personality and characters. If you read the earlier posts, there’s one son who has layed down the ground rules and I think that is a very good way to start things. My MIL is very used to having things done in HER WAY, HER TIME, HER STYLE and HER LAST SAY in things, so when I wanna teach my kids my way and have the last say with my kids, she cannot tahan. She kept telling me that why is it everything has to do my way, why I must have the last say, why I must win all the time… hmmm, I mean, why not? They are my kids and I’m directly responsible to them and their actions!

[buds]

orangeme:

i always jokingly tell hubby that i am counting down to the no. of good days that we've left... they're both in the early 60s now so ....*counting*

:rotflmao:

You're killing my insides with this one, orangeme!
Truly killing! :rotflmao:

But hey, alert old folks last longer!
Look at our SM, he is on a roll! :salute:

[auntieM]

buds:

auntieM, guess as an only child either

you stay on your own or stay with yer
own parents would be the most ideal
arrangement in your case.. :celebrate:

Well, you're one of the few lucky ones
who managed to get out of the rut, aye!

Your hubby understands your tension
with his mommy?

Yes, he does. Just that we dun talk about it anymore. He hears enough drama and gossip from others too.... I just play my part at makan sessions nowadays. Sometimes we dun see PILs for 2 months and my hubby will just say he is busy when MIL call for gathering. Most of the pek chek incidents happened last time. That's why I can look at things from funnier side.He is not that close to MIL, and probably seen enough bullying..... I am quite lucky to have my hubby's 'quiet' understanding.