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    In-law problems?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Relationships
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    • V Offline
      vinegar
      last edited by

      buds:
      vinegar:

      i oso nvr ever rebuke my ILs


      When i said this to her,it was in a joking manner.The tone was gentle one...something like,\"yes,yes,u r right! He has really bad taste.He(dh) oso admits he has bad taste,coz he says he carries his father,i mean ur husband's genes mah!\"

      Your mil is ok with jokes with tinge of mild attack liddat arh? 😂

      nope....i kena complained the next day 😓

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • J Offline
        janet88
        last edited by

        if i rebuke her once, the whole world will know…plus the extra ‘salt and vinegar’ she adds in.

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • O Offline
          oliveoil
          last edited by

          Imami:
          oliveoil:

          I'm also staying under the same roof as my mil. And with maid all together, it is no joke. Three women deal with a kitchen is enough to create unhappiness! So when I'm not around she will walk into the kitchen to become the 'queen'. When she is in the kitchen I will 'siam' (go off). And then my poor maid will has to deal with her...


          When DH is not around, she will compliant the dishes are not enough and soup is tasteless (\"bo be gao suo\" in hokkien). She will reject the soup we serve her, or sometimes walk up and go and cook another dish of her choice at dinner time. When DH is around, she will say the other way \"can eat, anything will do\".

          And she ever said my kids ”没家教“ (no home education) just bcos they never acknowledge her once. Of course it was in front of me and not her son.

          Mid last year, my maids went moonlighting one after after and I left with no maid for more than two months. My DS had surgery (long recovering with few weeks of MC leading to PSLE!) and my three kids were in PSLE (i have a triplet). I worked half day in the morning, rush back by noon, do all the chores, cook and attend to my kids for their PSLE preparation & exam. My mil still came and compliant about those maids that had left. I told mil 'I was tired' during these few months and suggested she stop talking abt the same issue and thinking to have her empathy. Her replied was \"你顾孩子辛苦是应该的!\". Her remark really \"piss me off\"...ever since then, I will do anything myself without her help if possible.

          :hugs: 都过去了。 objectively, do u think your mil is plain nasty to you or just insensitive?

          I always feel it this way - as dil, we should love/treat/serve them as if they are our mothers BUT cannot expect them to be as nice as our own mother.

          I understand u are trying to console me 🙂 she is the type that 对人不对事, and she sees that 她可以'吃'我。So can be nasty to me n yet I cannot reburk.
          呀,这件事 都过去了。但以后还不是一样...所谓相见容易相处难。

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          • S Offline
            ScaredyMum
            last edited by

            buds:
            Wah ScaredyMum, sharp leh... eh, you not scared here arh? 😂


            I never once rebuked my ILs in that manner or used such words before. Not even when they were mean beyond words.
            Haha buds, I oso scared la, scared wait my MIL see this thread??? Lol
            But luckily she doesn't read English hee hee hee

            Same la, cannot 顶嘴 else they say we 没大没小 ... that will make us 刚刚好 :rahrah:

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            • V Offline
              vinegar
              last edited by

              ScaredyMum:
              buds:

              Wah ScaredyMum, sharp leh... eh, you not scared here arh? 😂


              I never once rebuked my ILs in that manner or used such words before. Not even when they were mean beyond words.

              Haha buds, I oso scared la, scared wait my MIL see this thread??? Lol
              But luckily she doesn't read English hee hee hee

              Same la, cannot 顶嘴 else they say we 没大没小 ... that will make us 刚刚好 :rahrah:

              it is hard not to 顶嘴, so i oso avoid her...

              she likes to say things to agitate ppl...even i keep quiet,she'll still keep talking n say sarcastic remarks...

              muz die die keep quiet,cannot rebuke,if not, 中计,then later kena arrow

              she always tells me she doesn't understand why everyone couldn't talk to her nicely. Her elder DIL always argues wf her,her maid ignores her when she steps into kitchen.hmmm....now i realise why she likes to call my DH so much...he is the only person in the world who doesn't dare to rebuke her :roll:

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              • V Offline
                vinegar
                last edited by

                my MIL likes to call my DH just to tell him what she did last wkend,where she went,which doctor she visited,what she did…etc…


                i don’t do that with my mum,so i find it uncomfortable n "weird" feelings…I find…he has showered so much attn on her,till he neglects our kids,me n himself.

                Once i told him i really find he is reali girlish,then he said i jealous. i wonder,how many men out there,do the same as my DH,wf their mothers.

                i rather he does this wf his male frds or colleagues.my DH oredi in 40s,kinda weird seeing his mum calls n updates him on these tinny winny things.

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                • NebbermindN Offline
                  Nebbermind
                  last edited by

                  vinegar:
                  my MIL likes to call my DH just to tell him what she did last wkend,where she went,which doctor she visited,what she did...etc...


                  i don't do that with my mum,so i find it uncomfortable n \"weird\" feelings...I find...he has showered so much attn on her,till he neglects our kids,me n himself.

                  Once i told him i really find he is reali girlish,then he said i jealous. i wonder,how many men out there,do the same as my DH,wf their mothers.

                  i rather he does this wf his male frds or colleagues.my DH oredi in 40s,kinda weird seeing his mum calls n updates him on these tinny winny things.
                  Think she needs medication to stop the hallucination.....that your hubby is actually FIL. :evil:

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • B Offline
                    buds
                    last edited by

                    Nebbermind:
                    vinegar:

                    my MIL likes to call my DH just to tell him what she did last wkend,where she went,which doctor she visited,what she did...etc...


                    i don't do that with my mum,so i find it uncomfortable n \"weird\" feelings...I find...he has showered so much attn on her,till he neglects our kids,me n himself.

                    Once i told him i really find he is reali girlish,then he said i jealous. i wonder,how many men out there,do the same as my DH,wf their mothers.

                    i rather he does this wf his male frds or colleagues.my DH oredi in 40s,kinda weird seeing his mum calls n updates him on these tinny winny things.

                    Think she needs medication to stop the hallucination.....that your hubby is actually FIL. :evil:


                    You bad la, Nebbermind. :spank: Always so liddat wan..

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                    • JenniferJ Offline
                      Jennifer
                      last edited by

                      vinegar:
                      my MIL likes to call my DH just to tell him what she did last wkend,where she went,which doctor she visited,what she did...etc...


                      i don't do that with my mum,so i find it uncomfortable n \"weird\" feelings...I find...he has showered so much attn on her,till he neglects our kids,me n himself.

                      Once i told him i really find he is reali girlish,then he said i jealous. i wonder,how many men out there,do the same as my DH,wf their mothers.

                      i rather he does this wf his male frds or colleagues.my DH oredi in 40s,kinda weird seeing his mum calls n updates him on these tinny winny things.
                      Actually I think it is a lovely relationship between your hubby and your MIL. If your hubby can balance the time among his mother, you and the children well, it would be a perfect situation.

                      My elder boy has some wooden models in his room - a house with a watermill, a house made with Canadian wood (present from SIL when she holidayed in Canada), a Merlion and an ancient ship. I am unwilling to throw these away though he does not mind not having these anymore.

                      I came up with this story and shared with him: one day he would be travelling to all corners of the world, finally settling down in Canada, sometimes fly back to Sg.

                      Upon hearing this, he said: dun wanna lah. I cant see you everyday.

                      I said: aiyo, now internet very convenient, can video chat.

                      He said: not the same lah.

                      I said: when u hv your own family, u might not want to see me so often liao.

                      He rolled his eyes.

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • B Offline
                        buds
                        last edited by

                        Were you expecting a different expression instead of the eye-rolling, Jennifer?

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0

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