In-law problems?
-
problem is no matter what DH and I said, she dont believe. she only believes in what her san gu liu po sis says.
2 nites before, when my elder DD again told me my mil badmouth about me. I asked DD what she thinks about all that came out from her mouth and whether they are true or not. Luckily, DD replied those are not true. phew… i asked DD whether she has hear anything good coming out from her mouth, she says No. hahahaa… I told DD that no matter what I do, I only has the best interest in her and that i’m not interested in what ah ma has been saying in front of you. I cant stop her from saying anything bad about me, but do you ever hear me saying bad things about ah ma?
I also quoted an incident DD experienced herself from her classmate, who badmouth DD and left her quite upset. I asked DD whether what the classmate said was truthful? which of cos was no, so i said see, it is the same issue with ah ma.
ngl2010, I threw away the bottles, she will just go out and get new ones… haiz
she is now the opposition party in the house.
Really dread going back everyday after work if not for the sake of my 2 DDs… -
I have similar issues when it comes to teaching the children. In my case, it is for my DS since birth, being taken care of by my maid. My MIL comes over 5 times a day to play with him. So her role is as a playmate only - does not teach right or wrong. And of course the maid is too happy to follow. Now my son is 2+… used to hear them quote "your mommy say cannot", "your mommy say must do this/that"… I am naturally labelled the bad guy - to a stage my son come up to me and say "mommy bad guy!"
One day when I heard my MIL say that (and my DH was around), I just snapped and told my son - "mommy didn’t say anything, right?" If your grandma say can then can (e.g. goto playground without keeping toys, throw all the books around, jump on the sofa, eat snacks, etc etc). I told my DH, the next time my children call me "bad guy" I will stop being a parent and just be their playmate like my MIL. So DH got the message and try to talk to the mom (but of course got @#(*)!# from the mom, lah" -
gancheongmum:
opposition party?? :rotflmao:problem is no matter what DH and I said, she dont believe. she only believes in what her san gu liu po sis says.
2 nites before, when my elder DD again told me my mil badmouth about me. I asked DD what she thinks about all that came out from her mouth and whether they are true or not. Luckily, DD replied those are not true. phew.. i asked DD whether she has hear anything good coming out from her mouth, she says No. hahahaa.. I told DD that no matter what I do, I only has the best interest in her and that i'm not interested in what ah ma has been saying in front of you. I cant stop her from saying anything bad about me, but do you ever hear me saying bad things about ah ma?
I also quoted an incident DD experienced herself from her classmate, who badmouth DD and left her quite upset. I asked DD whether what the classmate said was truthful? which of cos was no, so i said see, it is the same issue with ah ma.
ngl2010, I threw away the bottles, she will just go out and get new ones.. haiz
she is now the opposition party in the house.
Really dread going back everyday after work if not for the sake of my 2 DDs...
VOTE her out for the next election!
-
vinegar:
opposition party?? :rotflmao:gancheongmum:
problem is no matter what DH and I said, she dont believe. she only believes in what her san gu liu po sis says.
she is now the opposition party in the house. VOTE her out for the next election!
Perhaps from her perspective, you are the opposition party instead and her 'san gu liu po sis' referring to grassroot leaders :rotflmao: -
hi straffan23, at least your mil says mummy say this cannot that cannot. but mine is openly criticizing me like (your mummy is lousy, i pity you have such mummy, your mummy is so irresponsible blah blah blah). she is outright putting me down in front of my DDs!
vinegar, how i wish i could vote her out right away!! -
gancheongmum:
ok ok,i'll be ur supporter cum grassroot leaders,u've my vote! :evil:hi straffan23, at least your mil says mummy say this cannot that cannot. but mine is openly criticizing me like (your mummy is lousy, i pity you have such mummy, your mummy is so irresponsible blah blah blah). she is outright putting me down in front of my DDs!
vinegar, how i wish i could vote her out right away!! -
Don’t have these issues with my MIL cos she has never offered to babysit my kids nor does she make effort to be close to them. Phew! However, DH thinks MIL is sooo good…so when he wasn’t happy with my mum who helped look after DS, he’d say his mum wouldn’t do this if she looked after DS. Ha! That was until I snapped and informed DH that his mum never offered to babysit once and doesn’t want to look after her grandkids!
Recently, DH was commenting that my mum was fussy…which I agreed. Then he said I was also fussy…which I agreed …on certain things I really want to have my way. I commented that most if not, all women have their own style / way of running their household. Then I commented that my MIL was also fussy and particular. DH looked at me in disbelief and kept quiet, probably didn’t want an argument.
I think that my mistake was that I didn’t let DH see / hear MIL’s unkind acts or words which she used to say personally to me. How she used to scold me ( yes, only me ) when we didn’t follow her instruction on renovation, kids food, clothing, etc. Or how she still expected me to mop and clean when i was pregnant and on medical leave. So, in his eyes, whenever I told him about MIL, I was bad mouthing his mum. Would have done things differently … let DH see MIL’s true colors… if I could turn back time.
I think my DH also a mummy’s boy, but fortunately, he’s the lazy and unattentive type so he won’t be at MIL’s beck and call. -
KSmom8:
i guess...even my DH sees my MIL's true colour,he wouldl choose to be \"colour blind\" :boogie:Don't have these issues with my MIL cos she has never offered to babysit my kids nor does she make effort to be close to them. Phew! However, DH thinks MIL is sooo good....so when he wasn't happy with my mum who helped look after DS, he'd say his mum wouldn't do this if she looked after DS. Ha! That was until I snapped and informed DH that his mum never offered to babysit once and doesn't want to look after her grandkids!
Recently, DH was commenting that my mum was fussy...which I agreed. Then he said I was also fussy....which I agreed ...on certain things I really want to have my way. I commented that most if not, all women have their own style / way of running their household. Then I commented that my MIL was also fussy and particular. DH looked at me in disbelief and kept quiet, probably didn't want an argument.
I think that my mistake was that I didn't let DH see / hear MIL's unkind acts or words which she used to say personally to me. How she used to scold me ( yes, only me ) when we didn't follow her instruction on renovation, kids food, clothing, etc. Or how she still expected me to mop and clean when i was pregnant and on medical leave. So, in his eyes, whenever I told him about MIL, I was bad mouthing his mum. Would have done things differently ... let DH see MIL's true colors... if I could turn back time.
I think my DH also a mummy's boy, but fortunately, he's the lazy and unattentive type so he won't be at MIL's beck and call. -
vinegar:
My mil has only one son and one daughter. That is why she calls daily to ask if he has eaten. Such calls are terminated within seconds.TheAnswer:
If my mil calls DH for no reason, he only entertain her for a few seconds then he hangs up. Only serious business (medical appointment or discomfort or need something urgently) then can call DH.
my DH is otherwise.He is so used to being treated as \"daughter\" to my MIL.
Yes,my MIL only has two sons.
My DH has to entertain her,if not, she'll use her usual tactics to make him feel guilty.she'll say she doesn't hv many yrs to live liao.....don't know how long i can talk to u....
but she said otherwise to the DILs,she told me,\"i'll be 长命百岁\"
I'm not behind this. DH has been like this even before we started dating
-
The old lady is a living landmine...step on her, and I can forget about having peace and the whole world will know.
Hey Answer,
How's your new maid?
Your hubby told his mother she must eat whatever you cook without complaining? :yikes: totally amazing :salute:
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login