In-law problems?

[winth]

Do you think ILs do breakup or worsen a marriage?

It doesn’t seem to make any sense here, but I think bad ILs do contribute in this manner.

[2ppaamm]

winth:

Do you think ILs do breakup or worsen a marriage?

It doesn't seem to make any sense here, but I think bad ILs do contribute in this manner.

In my close to 20 years of marriage, the only quarrels I had with my hubby were over MIL and SIL. Otherwise, we have mutual respect and love for each other very much.

I would say, ILs rank #1 for me, maids #2. The children don't even give us half the stress.

[winth]

2ppaamm:

winth:

Do you think ILs do breakup or worsen a marriage?

It doesn't seem to make any sense here, but I think bad ILs do contribute in this manner.

In my close to 20 years of marriage, the only quarrels I had with my hubby were over MIL and SIL. Otherwise, we have mutual respect and love for each other very much.

I would say, ILs rank #1 for me, maids #2. The children don't even give us half the stress.

YOU ARE 20 YEARS MARRIED ALREADY?????
That's really tough...

[2ppaamm]

winth:

2ppaamm:

[quote=\"winth\"]Do you think ILs do breakup or worsen a marriage?

It doesn't seem to make any sense here, but I think bad ILs do contribute in this manner.

In my close to 20 years of marriage, the only quarrels I had with my hubby were over MIL and SIL. Otherwise, we have mutual respect and love for each other very much.

I would say, ILs rank #1 for me, maids #2. The children don't even give us half the stress.

YOU ARE 20 YEARS MARRIED ALREADY?????
That's really tough...[/quote]Ha ha... old already mah.... and, can you imagine, the thoughts of the ILs and what they did still bites.

[winth]

U know, sometimes I wonder…


If one fine day, for some reason, I really cannot continue my marriage with DH, will they do the ‘I told you so… thing’

[winth]

2ppaamm:

winth:

[quote=\"2ppaamm\"]
In my close to 20 years of marriage, the only quarrels I had with my hubby were over MIL and SIL. Otherwise, we have mutual respect and love for each other very much.

I would say, ILs rank #1 for me, maids #2. The children don't even give us half the stress.

YOU ARE 20 YEARS MARRIED ALREADY?????
That's really tough...

Ha ha... old already mah.... and, can you imagine, the thoughts of the ILs and what they did still bite.[/quote]But you guys have gone through at least 2 '7 years itch' in the marriage. And I believe your kids are quite grown up. So your relationship with MIL should somehow ease.

[tree nymph]

buds:

I've had enuf of the shit oredi. I'm up to my neck full.

I just mind my business and my distance with them.
Dowan to quarrel anymore. I'm reali worn out by
these freaking politics. It is supposed to be a home
for God's sake. Not a battle ground. No one's a winner
in a family argument. Each episode just fuels up more
animosity amongst everyone in da house making it
uncomfortable a place to stay.

you know buds, sometimes how i wish I get posted overseas for work and the package would allow me to bring my kids along with me? sometimes i even think of just packing up my bags, bring my kids and just go! to somewhere nobody knows us and easy for me to find decent work and bring the kids up decently. sometimes i even think that camping in the East Coast Park is a better option then going back to the 'house'. i felt so caged up, its not a home to me, i was never treated as though i belong there.

i got chased out of the house before and i told her that i will go, but please give me a few months looking for a place. Then she went hysterical...
she shouted at me:\" is this it? is this your hideous scheme? to make me a scapegoat for you to move out??? YOU wanna move all the time and now you drove me to drive you out of the house, right? this is your scheme right? to make me look bad right??

i was like??? why was she like that???

i didn't get to move out that time after all...

buds:

I'm already unhappy with my life... thanks to her i
became unhappy with my marriage and my husband
too at times. I told him to divorce me b4 we had kids
so to spare me of all the crap. She doesn't like me...
I'm fine with it. And i can get out of the marriage.. we
were already arguing so much then anyway. So fed up.
So very unhappy. She was a real pain..:x

Me too. and it doesn't help that hubs is always never at home to help out with the kids and all. Most of the time, I'm like a single parent, under someone else's roof, 看人的脸色过日子... its really a bad feeling. the very first time i asked for divorce is right after my first boy was born. really cannot take the shit and i fell into depression and wanna kill myself and kid. so i just wanna out and of course kid will follow me. i think hubs talked to his mum and she laid low for a while, just a short while... before her true colors appear again.

I asked for divorce again last year, but hubs told me why punish him for what his mum is... its not fair for him... told him i'm losing it soon... gosh... am tearing while writing this....

hubs, my FIL is not too bad, BUT he is really under her thumb and didn't dare to stand up against her. Even he has to do her bidding! Every time we quarrel, he will ask me to give in and apologize to her and make peace. He will beg and beg me. I can't harden my heart to see him begging like this, how could anyone??!! For his and hub's sake, i got to bow my head, swollow my pride and my dignity and say sorry to her. even there's nothing wrong in my part. I'm not giving in this time. No more apologising for something that I didn't do wrong. I WILL BE STRONG.

i'm going to do what rugrats_pat done, to look for a place now. really gotta do something about this, else i will lose it very soon...

ps... I think i really have opened up my heart now, my tears are not stopping... i feel such great saddnes... i feel like crying out loud... and i'm in the office with my angmo boss who had flown in from HK...

[2ppaamm]

winth:

U know, sometimes I wonder...


If one fine day, for some reason, I really cannot continue my marriage with DH, will they do the 'I told you so... thing'

My opinion? You decide whether your marriage will work or not, nobody else can. If you want it to work, it will. You will do everything to make it last. However, these days, people get into situations and they think their marriage is the cause of the problems. Thing is, when they get out, they realise the problems are even bigger.

Well, I'm no marriage counselor, but I have many divorced friends who realise what complications they added to their lives after the divorce. And, things just didn't improve either, whether they become alone or with another party.

Just my observation. And, the biggest part is, the kids will be adversely affected, no matter what nonsense the media or woman advocate groups tell you. Those are just bullshit. Children can only prosper in a proper family with proper role models. They need to feel secure, loved and watch the right role models through their parents. What big shoes we have to fill.

[tree nymph]

2ppaamm:

winth:

U know, sometimes I wonder...


If one fine day, for some reason, I really cannot continue my marriage with DH, will they do the 'I told you so... thing'

My opinion? You decide whether your marriage will work or not, nobody else can. If you want it to work, it will. You will do everything to make it last. However, these days, people get into situations and they think their marriage is the cause of the problems. Thing is, when they get out, they realise the problems are even bigger.

Well, I'm no marriage counselor, but I have many divorced friends who realise what complications they added to their lives after the divorce. And, things just didn't improve either, whether they become alone or with another party.

Just my observation. And, the biggest part is, the kids will be adversely affected, no matter what nonsense the media or woman advocate groups tell you. Those are just bullshit. Children can only prosper in a proper family with proper role models. They need to feel secure, loved and watch the right role models through their parents. What big shoes we have to fill.

:goodpost:

[tree nymph]

2ppaamm:

winth:

Do you think ILs do breakup or worsen a marriage?

It doesn't seem to make any sense here, but I think bad ILs do contribute in this manner.

In my close to 20 years of marriage, the only quarrels I had with my hubby were over MIL and SIL. Otherwise, we have mutual respect and love for each other very much.

I would say, ILs rank #1 for me, maids #2. The children don't even give us half the stress.

yes, ILs are #1 stress for me too.

And I've a few friends, marriage broke down because of the MILs... dunno what these MILs have in their minds, cos utimately her kid and her grandkids suffers too...