Is it too much?
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cwc- I do not understand your first paragraph. What are you implying? That my thinking is not correct? Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts, so how can thoughts be wrong or correct? But then again I I’ll respect your response because that is your thought and I respect others’ thoughts unless they are seriously illogical. Also I encourage you to follow this thread, it’ll obviously be good for both you an your son cos you can see things from another perspective
ksi- why would sending 200 more messages be sp serious that it can constitute confiscation of the handphone? And if SMSes are disruptive technology as you mentioned, how come we are using it? You may say use in moderation, and that is what I am doing. 700 messages a month is enough for me. It’s obviously not enough for my friends, but it’s enough for me and I will stick to that number so I wish that my dad respects my decision, because everyone’s perspective of "moderation" is different. -
snowman.697:
cwc- I do not understand your first paragraph. What are you implying? That my thinking is not correct? Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts, so how can thoughts be wrong or correct? But then again I I'll respect your response because that is your thought and I respect others' thoughts unless they are seriously illogical. Also I encourage you to follow this thread, it'll obviously be good for both you an your son cos you can see things from another perspective
Yes, everyone is entitled to their own thoughts.....it's hard to pinpoint who's right who's wrong. But normally there are certain baseline to adhere to and in this case, I think your dad's baseline is 500. While you are asking your dad to respect your decision, I'm sure he is hoping for the same too.
As a mother myself, sometimes I really wish I can take the easy way out and just simply say yes to my children's request.......skip the fight, no arguments, kids happy and will think I'm the BEST mom in the world etc etc. But is that the right thing to do?
Look at it in another way, I do agree that sending 700 SMS is actually no big deal. But SMS is normally a 2-way communication. While you send those 700, you are reading & waiting for an equal number or more responses to the SMS that you sent out. And in between those times, are you able to concentrate on what's on hand?
Guess, there is no end to such things......every family will need to set their own rules and boundaries, hope you are able to work out something with your dad eventually. -
snowman.697:
Sm, cos of the sms cult., I wrt in brf 2 u.
ksi- why would sending 200 more messages be sp serious that it can constitute confiscation of the handphone? And if SMSes are disruptive technology as you mentioned, how come we are using it? You may say use in moderation, and that is what I am doing. 700 messages a month is enough for me. It's obviously not enough for my friends, but it's enough for me and I will stick to that number so I wish that my dad respects my decision, because everyone's perspective of \"moderation\" is different.
Grted, u may hv a pt. y don u run thru yr sms to c how many r impt to jfy the 700? -
[quote=\"ksi
Sm, cos of the sms cult., I wrt in brf 2 u.
Grted, u may hv a pt. y don u run thru yr sms to c how many r impt to jfy the 700?[/quote]
what in the world is that? :? send that to me and i will :faint: -
It’s an issue of control. Happens to everyone. Your dad is losing control of you because his son is growing up and taking control of his own life. It’s a difficult time for everyone (you and him). It may help to know that parents fear letting go of their children because we never really know if we have done a good job of teaching them values and beliefs.
Your dad thinks you should be thrifty and self-controlled. The number of sms-es is immaterial because at the root of all this, your Dad fears for you. He fears that you are pulling away from him into a void where you will betray the values he holds dear. Ironically, you will probably get him to let go more successfully if you find ways to respond to his fears.
Yes… parents fear too. We are always afraid for our children. And we are afraid that we have not been good parents. And we are afraid that we have not done enough. Worse still, we may sometimes fear to see our own only too human faults surface in you.
Take some time to strategise how you can show your Dad that you are self-controlled and thrifty. Make it a point to show him how you use your sms-es. Show him that you refuse to respond to many sms-es so as to stay within the budget. He may then realise that you need that unlimited plan. That was what my daughter did to me. She included me in her life and showed me how she managed it and I began to understand that she really needed all those sms-es because of CCA co-ordination requirements etc…
Don’t get caught in a discussion about numbers - 500, 700, 1000. What is the right number? No one can tell. Who cares anyway? Sometimes, in life, there is no need to be right… just the need to understand and be understood.
The bridging skills you develop in the crucible of your relationship with your dad will stand you in good stead when you enter the workforce. It is not that different a relationship between boss and subordinate. The subordinate who knows how to manage the fears and insecurities of the boss becomes a trusted right hand man, and will be first in line for promotions and bonuses.
A skill worth honing. -
Chenonceau:
Profound. Well put. I agree. :goodpost:It's an issue of control. Happens to everyone. Your dad is losing control of you because his son is growing up and taking control of his own life. It's a difficult time for everyone (you and him). It may help to know that parents fear letting go of their children because we never really know if we have done a good job of teaching them values and beliefs.Your dad thinks you should be thrifty and self-controlled. The number of sms-es is immaterial because at the root of all this, your Dad fears for you. He fears that you are pulling away from him into a void where you will betray the values he holds dear. Ironically, you will probably get him to let go more successfully if you find ways to respond to his fears.
Yes... parents fear too. We are always afraid for our children. And we are afraid that we have not been good parents. And we are afraid that we have not done enough.
Take some time to strategise how you can show your Dad that you are self-controlled and thrifty. Make it a point to show him how you use your sms-es. Show him that you refuse to respond to many sms-es so as to stay within the budget. He may then realise that you need that unlimited plan. That was what my daughter did to me. She included me in her life and showed me how she managed it and I began to understand that she really needed all those sms-es because of CCA co-ordination requirements etc...
Don't get caught in a discussion about numbers - 500, 700, 1000. What is the right number? No one can tell. Who cares anyway? Sometimes, in life, there is no need to be right... just the need to understand and be understood.
The bridging skills you develop in the crucible of your relationship with your dad will stand you in good stead when you enter the workforce. It is not that different a relationship between boss and subordinate. The subordinate who knows how to manage the fears and insecurities of the boss becomes a trusted right hand man, and will be first in line for promotions and bonuses.
A skill worth honing.
Dear snowman, I am very sure your dad's motivation is for your good even though his delivery may not be all that pleasing to you. Please do consider chenoncea's advice to build a relationship of trust with your dad. It will pay off for you in the long run.
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Chenonceau:
:goodpost:It's an issue of control. Happens to everyone. Your dad is losing control of you because his son is growing up and taking control of his own life. It's a difficult time for everyone (you and him). It may help to know that parents fear letting go of their children because we never really know if we have done a good job of teaching them values and beliefs.
Your dad thinks you should be thrifty and self-controlled. The number of sms-es is immaterial because at the root of all this, your Dad fears for you. He fears that you are pulling away from him into a void where you will betray the values he holds dear. Ironically, you will probably get him to let go more successfully if you find ways to respond to his fears.
Yes... parents fear too. We are always afraid for our children. And we are afraid that we have not been good parents. And we are afraid that we have not done enough. Worse still, we may sometimes fear to see our own only too human faults surface in you.
Take some time to strategise how you can show your Dad that you are self-controlled and thrifty. Make it a point to show him how you use your sms-es. Show him that you refuse to respond to many sms-es so as to stay within the budget. He may then realise that you need that unlimited plan. That was what my daughter did to me. She included me in her life and showed me how she managed it and I began to understand that she really needed all those sms-es because of CCA co-ordination requirements etc...
Don't get caught in a discussion about numbers - 500, 700, 1000. What is the right number? No one can tell. Who cares anyway? Sometimes, in life, there is no need to be right... just the need to understand and be understood.
The bridging skills you develop in the crucible of your relationship with your dad will stand you in good stead when you enter the workforce. It is not that different a relationship between boss and subordinate. The subordinate who knows how to manage the fears and insecurities of the boss becomes a trusted right hand man, and will be first in line for promotions and bonuses.
A skill worth honing.
Spot on! Chenonceau, I will come knock on your door when my kids reach those difficult years! -
![](\"http://i51.tinypic.com/qn8vo4.jpg\")
http://i51.tinypic.com/qn8vo4.jpg\">
I suppose you feel like that yellow cat now ...
But you'll get to be on top when you grow up! :rahrah: -
1amber:
So cute!! I read somewhere that this is how Mommy cats discipline naughty kitties. I wonder if that is true...
I suppose you feel like that yellow cat now ...
But you'll get to be on top when you grow up! :rahrah: -
MummyThreeStreams:
:goodpost:Chenonceau:
It's an issue of control. Happens to everyone. Your dad is losing control of you because his son is growing up and taking control of his own life. It's a difficult time for everyone (you and him). It may help to know that parents fear letting go of their children because we never really know if we have done a good job of teaching them values and beliefs.
Your dad thinks you should be thrifty and self-controlled. The number of sms-es is immaterial because at the root of all this, your Dad fears for you. He fears that you are pulling away from him into a void where you will betray the values he holds dear. Ironically, you will probably get him to let go more successfully if you find ways to respond to his fears.
Yes... parents fear too. We are always afraid for our children. And we are afraid that we have not been good parents. And we are afraid that we have not done enough. Worse still, we may sometimes fear to see our own only too human faults surface in you.
Take some time to strategise how you can show your Dad that you are self-controlled and thrifty. Make it a point to show him how you use your sms-es. Show him that you refuse to respond to many sms-es so as to stay within the budget. He may then realise that you need that unlimited plan. That was what my daughter did to me. She included me in her life and showed me how she managed it and I began to understand that she really needed all those sms-es because of CCA co-ordination requirements etc...
Don't get caught in a discussion about numbers - 500, 700, 1000. What is the right number? No one can tell. Who cares anyway? Sometimes, in life, there is no need to be right... just the need to understand and be understood.
The bridging skills you develop in the crucible of your relationship with your dad will stand you in good stead when you enter the workforce. It is not that different a relationship between boss and subordinate. The subordinate who knows how to manage the fears and insecurities of the boss becomes a trusted right hand man, and will be first in line for promotions and bonuses.
A skill worth honing.
Spot on! Chenonceau, I will come knock on your door when my kids reach those difficult years! Yeah... we strategize together!! :evil:
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