Club SAHM
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KSmom8:
not possible...he said he nid more \"me\" time than me.This is my 2nd time as a SAHM.
My first time as a SAHM was when DS1 was a baby/ toddler. I was the bao ka liao mum, did all the housework, cooking and even took DS1 on walks to the supermarket / zoo / parks almost everyday. It was satisfying to be present to watch DS1 walk and talk, and even to sit for 1 hour plus to feed him ( though frustrating most of time ). But I was sooo tired and gave up as a SAHM.
Buds, it's still amazing to me that you can gao tim everything with 4 kids!!!
When DS2 came along, I knew I couldn't do it all as a SAHM. The maid does the housework and I don't try to cook every meal. Once every few weeks, I take a break and have lunch / tea with friends. My mum helps babysit or I do it when the kids are in school.
Vinegar, remember to take a break - we all need it. How about getting DH to babysit for a few hours on a Saturday or Sunday? Or just take some ME time, forget about the chores etc, when kids are in school or asleep? Got to take care of yourself in order to take care of others, you know.
We celebrate everyone's birthday with a cake, sometimes with a dinner. But we don't celebrate VDay or anniversary. -
vinegar:
DH totally same pattern.
not possible...he said he nid more \"me\" time than me.KSmom8:
This is my 2nd time as a SAHM.
My first time as a SAHM was when DS1 was a baby/ toddler. I was the bao ka liao mum, did all the housework, cooking and even took DS1 on walks to the supermarket / zoo / parks almost everyday. It was satisfying to be present to watch DS1 walk and talk, and even to sit for 1 hour plus to feed him ( though frustrating most of time ). But I was sooo tired and gave up as a SAHM.
Buds, it's still amazing to me that you can gao tim everything with 4 kids!!!
When DS2 came along, I knew I couldn't do it all as a SAHM. The maid does the housework and I don't try to cook every meal. Once every few weeks, I take a break and have lunch / tea with friends. My mum helps babysit or I do it when the kids are in school.
Vinegar, remember to take a break - we all need it. How about getting DH to babysit for a few hours on a Saturday or Sunday? Or just take some ME time, forget about the chores etc, when kids are in school or asleep? Got to take care of yourself in order to take care of others, you know.
We celebrate everyone's birthday with a cake, sometimes with a dinner. But we don't celebrate VDay or anniversary. -
Vinegar, don’t let him pick anymore until no bones left. Find time these few weeks to ponder over my earlier suggestion. If you don’t mind sharing your daily or weekly routine with me, i don’t mind pitching in to see if there can be a short-cut to ease you of the mundane chores. There are also many of us here who have gone through the initial rough times and more heads are better than one. I’m sure you can find (and apply) some good suggestions from everyone’s sharings. Don’t despair. You are not alone.
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TheAnswer:
same la.....my DH also change job quite frequently.
Vinegar,
Your DH is similar to mine. But I think mine worse. Lousy temper and every little thing think of changing job. Luckily I do not depend on him, if not I can't imagine. Have to continue working. No choice. I always have to say pleasing things to him. Had a quarrel last night over some stupid complain. Just can't bring myself to talk to him.
i also don't bother to talk to him...i find my own joys by watching tv,surf nets n chatting wf frds. -
TheAnswer:
It's ok...we all need a listening ear.My DH also has horrible temper. Yesterday I was quite stressed with work, so I complained a little. He just snapped and scolded me just because he felt useless in his job. His boss threw out his proposal and boss did it himself. He felt useless and wanted to quit because of it.
Increasingly, I see no point and also cannot share my stress with DH. Many times I want to share, I step on time bomb. As if my job is not stressful. He just simply cannot talk calmly even if I'm not complaining or I am in a good mood. DH totally can't handle stress well.
Sorry for the rant. I have already tried to be understanding. I just dunno how long more will he remain like this.
Ok lah...if hubby has bad day, then we lend listening ear.
But if we wives have lousy day, only fair that they listen too right?
Stay at home all day and face 4 walls Mondays to Fridays can go :siao:
He knows I cannot go out as and when bcos kids come back after school for lunch...besides, they need to rest and get hw done. So when tests are over, I will try to get out. -
janet_lee88:
I work. I teach. I cook. I do housework. He only work and he dare to complain. If want to complain, I got a long list. Sometimes I just feel that he feels inferior cos he is earning so much lesser than me.
It's ok...we all need a listening ear.TheAnswer:
My DH also has horrible temper. Yesterday I was quite stressed with work, so I complained a little. He just snapped and scolded me just because he felt useless in his job. His boss threw out his proposal and boss did it himself. He felt useless and wanted to quit because of it.
Increasingly, I see no point and also cannot share my stress with DH. Many times I want to share, I step on time bomb. As if my job is not stressful. He just simply cannot talk calmly even if I'm not complaining or I am in a good mood. DH totally can't handle stress well.
Sorry for the rant. I have already tried to be understanding. I just dunno how long more will he remain like this.
Ok lah...if hubby has bad day, then we lend listening ear.
But if we wives have lousy day, only fair that they listen too right?
Stay at home all day and face 4 walls Mondays to Fridays can go :siao:
He knows I cannot go out as and when bcos kids come back after school for lunch...besides, they need to rest and get hw done. So when tests are over, I will try to get out. -
janet_lee88, you have good window time in btwn the kids' school timing so still got chance to get out daily if you want. Just ensure what needs to be done, basic cleaning and what nots are done. I bring the kids out for lunch on days i feel like and that saves me time off my mornings. There will also be times they request for Maggi cos i cook most days they don't have that many opportunities to eat Maggi. My only condition is - don't spill the beans to gramma. :rotflmao:
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somehow,when i think of my mum,i think i deserve it to be treated this way by my DH.
I remember my mum ever told me tat u don’t think working is big shark,SAHM also has lots of things to do.I nvr realise it till i married.I apologised to my mum. -
vinegar:
Sometimes DH change job and he takes a pay cut. I never for once even complained about it. Yet he can slack. Sometimes I feel he is totally same pattern as my brother. My married brother literally stayed home for most of last year. Now wife screaming divorce --> lousy attitude, poor finance, bad attitude..
same la.....my DH also change job quite frequently.TheAnswer:
Vinegar,
Your DH is similar to mine. But I think mine worse. Lousy temper and every little thing think of changing job. Luckily I do not depend on him, if not I can't imagine. Have to continue working. No choice. I always have to say pleasing things to him. Had a quarrel last night over some stupid complain. Just can't bring myself to talk to him.
i also don't bother to talk to him...i find my own joys by watching tv,surf nets n chatting wf frds.
Argh. Just want to shut DH out this weekend. I'm still feeling the annoyance from last night. Today went to teach my students, enjoyed my lessons, happy with their CA1 marks. My students are really lovable. Feel at peace with them
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vinegar:
Glad you reconciled with your mum. Heart warming. I also love my mummy more now.somehow,when i think of my mum,i think i deserve it to be treated this way by my DH.
I remember my mum ever told me tat u don't think working is big shark,SAHM also has lots of things to do.I nvr realise it till i married.I apologised to my mum.
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