Perverts

[Funz]

I was molested 2x, once when I was about 13yrs old and another time in my 20s. Both at crowded places. 1st time was when we were in thailand for holiday. We were at one of those pasar malam places. I felt someone behind me touching my butt. Initially thot was cos crowded so got bumped. But eventually notice this guy following me pretty closely and everytime we stopped, he moved very close to me and copped a feel. After the 3rd time, the next time we stopped I took a step back and stamped on his feet, turned around and looked at him to confront him but he quickly squeezed through the crowd and disappeared. 2nd incident was at a pub, felt someone very close to me, I turned and saw this angmoh fella, so I moved, but again felt someone pressing into my back and again I moved, then I distinctly felt someone grabbing my butt when I was reaching for a jug of drinks from the counter and on natural reflex I turned and dumped the whole jug of drinks on the guy. Naturally there was a whole lot of commotion and this bloody angmoh telling everyone it’s ok, no problem. I stared at him and he fled.


I worry about my kids. DD is quite pretty and she has been told many times that she is pretty. She has drawn many 2nd and 3rd looks from men and women young and old alike. That is not the very worrying part. The more worrying part is she is super friendly and goes around striking up conversations even with total strangers. She is also over confident at times that she will venture off on her own without letting us know if we are otherwise engaged. Now that she is coming 7yrs old, she is starting to be more wary but in my opinion, still not wary enough.

DS too has had his fair share of 2nd and 3rd looks but usually from girls and aunties. But just b4 CNY we were at a shopping mall and this man who is most probably in his late 40s kept looking at DS. And when we were on the escalator someone suddenly reached out and touched DS’s hair and cheeks. I turned to see who was touching DS thinking it might be someone we knew and that same guy smiled at me and said DS very cute and good looking. I told him I dunno you, look ok but please don’t go around touching other people’s child.

[corneyAmber]

Funz:

I told him I dunno you, look ok but please don't go around touching other people's child.

Ya la....stare already so uneasy still touch...really no manners and rude....
Next time you give them the \"DIE IF YOU DARE\" look!! :lol:

[Funz]

lovekidsverymuch:

Funz:

But just b4 CNY we were at a shopping mall and this man who is most probably in his late 40s kept looking at DS. And when we were on the escalator someone suddenly reached out and touched DS's hair and cheeks. I turned to see who was touching DS thinking it might be someone we knew and that same guy smiled at me and said DS very cute and good looking. I told him I dunno you, look ok but please don't go around touching other people's child.

Maybe the guy thinking ur DS is just cute cause just 4-5 yrs old :?

Well yah, that's why I did not raise a big hooha. But still not right to sneak up on a mother and child and start stroking the child's hair and cheek without even first addressing the mother right. Most aunties will go like xiao di di ji sui ah. And tell me he very fair hor, blah blah blah b4 getting anywhere near touching him.

[corneyAmber]

lovekidsverymuch:

Funz:

But just b4 CNY we were at a shopping mall and this man who is most probably in his late 40s kept looking at DS. And when we were on the escalator someone suddenly reached out and touched DS's hair and cheeks. I turned to see who was touching DS thinking it might be someone we knew and that same guy smiled at me and said DS very cute and good looking. I told him I dunno you, look ok but please don't go around touching other people's child.

Maybe the guy thinking ur DS is just cute cause just 4-5 yrs old :?

I think strangers should never try to touch others' kids.
I will just smile and compliment but never touch other strangers' kids.

[Funz]

lovekidsverymuch:

ks2me:

I think strangers should never try to touch others' kids.

I will just smile and compliment but never touch other strangers' kids.

hmm maybe I too smile wont touch but I have seen lotsa ppl who say hello to the kid then shake hands etc didnt find find perverts :?

talk to kids and shake their hands ok lah, but with their parents' knowledge and presence.

But in this case with the man, he did not even say hello to DS, just suddenly stroked DS's head and cheeks. Only when I pulled DS to me and stared at him then he spoke to me.

[Blobbi]

Funz:

lovekidsverymuch:

[quote=\"Funz\"]But just b4 CNY we were at a shopping mall and this man who is most probably in his late 40s kept looking at DS. And when we were on the escalator someone suddenly reached out and touched DS's hair and cheeks. I turned to see who was touching DS thinking it might be someone we knew and that same guy smiled at me and said DS very cute and good looking. I told him I dunno you, look ok but please don't go around touching other people's child.

Maybe the guy thinking ur DS is just cute cause just 4-5 yrs old :?

Well yah, that's why I did not raise a big hooha. But still not right to sneak up on a mother and child and start stroking the child's hair and cheek without even first addressing the mother right. Most aunties will go like xiao di di ji sui ah. And tell me he very fair hor, blah blah blah b4 getting anywhere near touching him.[/quote]Wah, my sympathies are with you. I'd be terrified, but unfortunately, nothing can be done. Just keep educating. I know we don't want our kids to be overly terrified of strangers, but in this day and age, I'd rather be safe than sorry.

My son has fabulous eyes - eyelashes to die for type, and when he was young, quite a few people thought he was a girl. Fast forward, he's now 7 and still has gorgeous eyes. Quite a few strangers have touched his head, and I give icy smiles. So far I haven't raised any hoo ha either - just not sure what do do. If he were a girl, I'd be quick as a whip but with boys, there's that hesitation of ok or not. Anyway, I've been training him on stranger danger, and he read somewhere about sexual predators, so he's aware, altho how he can protect himself, I don't know :(. I've role played with him to yell and run etc when cornered. A lot of it is coincidence - like how on earth do you protect yourself if the predator comes to the school to fix the water cooler and you happen to walk past??? All we can do is prepare and .

[corneyAmber]

lovekidsverymuch:

Blobbi:

A lot of it is coincidence - like how on earth do you protect yourself if the predator comes to the school to fix the water cooler and you happen to walk past??? All we can do is prepare and .

Quite true Blobbi just pray and hope our kids are safer till they really can take care of them!!

Some friends I know say a prayer for their children before they leave the house....maybe can try that.

[skunk]

Blobbi:

A lot of it is coincidence - like how on earth do you protect yourself if the predator comes to the school to fix the water cooler and you happen to walk past??? All we can do is prepare and .

As a child molest victim, I tend to think that children get molested differently from adults.

A molester targeting an adult, is likely to conceal his movements as \"accidental\"...in a crowd, or at a bar...among the jostling, he would \"strike\"...

A molester targeting children, is likely to befriend the child, and make him/her feel comfortable, like a \"friend\", before striking, like pretending to give a massage, or examine private parts to see if they are \"normal\"....like how i got molested....all 3 times the same way Now as a dad, i'm super sure i'm normal lol

The best gift to your child, is to train him to run. Play running games with him/her regularly to build his speed. He doesn't need to run far, just a short burst of speed to reach somewhere where there are other people around/ a more public place/ away from the molester. Despite the molester being an adult, a short burst of speed, even from a very young child, is likely to catch him unaware, and leave him far behind. Sometimes, a mere 20 metres to reach a more visible place, can mean a big difference!

[corneyAmber]

skunk:

A molester targeting children, is likely to befriend the child, and make him/her feel comfortable, like a \"friend\", before striking, like pretending to give a massage, or examine private parts to see if they are \"normal\"....like how i got molested....all 3 times the same way Now as a dad, i'm super sure i'm normal lol

Just curious skunk, how come these uncles asked to see your private part and you let them do so even though you have had the first bad experience? What tactics did they use to make you so trusting even you have had bad experience?

[Blobbi]

skunk:

A molester targeting children, is likely to befriend the child, and make him/her feel comfortable, like a \"friend\", before striking, like pretending to give a massage, or examine private parts to see if they are \"normal\"....like how i got molested....all 3 times the same way Now as a dad, i'm super sure i'm normal lol


The best gift to your child, is to train him to run. Play running games with him/her regularly to build his speed. He doesn't need to run far, just a short burst of speed to reach somewhere where there are other people around/ a more public place/ away from the molester. Despite the molester being an adult, a short burst of speed, even from a very young child, is likely to catch him unaware, and leave him far behind. Sometimes, a mere 20 metres to reach a more visible place, can mean a big difference!

These are great points, skunk. I tell him my son, if anyone offers you a candy or a Lego toy or some book, be on the lookout! Come and ask me first! Of if he's at school, tell the teacher about it. Cos chances are, the guy is a pervert. Any sign of trouble or if he's uncomfortable, he should yell \"HELP!\" and then run. Better tell him about running to the more visible spot idea.

:thankyou: