Bully in Student Care Centre
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My 3 kids had their fair share of being bullied. After a while we learnt the hard truth that complaining to higher authority and expect them to act in a fair and prompt manner is simply, fruitless. I guess the wisest move is to transfer yr child out 明星妈妈。
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hquek:
The bully mum give me the impression since I have done it. There is nothing much to say to me. She hung up my call.
Um, ah long runners also demand money on behalf of other pp - they also will get punished. Fact of the matter is that her son behaved in a threatening manner that caused fear in your boy - and that should not be condoned.名星妈妈:
I am truly disappointed when the bully mother told me it is another boy might instigate her son to do it. I nearly fainted.
Your son (P4) had extorted money from my son is a true fact. Be it or not, he had taken the money.
The bully definitely know this is wrong but he still act on it. Whether he understand the meaning of the word \"extortion\" is another different thing.
I might be kicking a big fuss but I sincerely feel that I should protect the rest of the kids in the centre, just in case next time it will be their turn.
Very glad that you took up the cudgels for your child. Even if the bully was let off scot free, I don't think he will dare come near your boy again; and also, I'm sure your boy will know that his mum will be there to support and help him.
btw, curious how the other mum react when she heard you were in the police station? -
child is bullied coz 妈妈 is 名星 or because his name is 名星?? :?
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I wanted to hear from other parents what actions you would take if you know there are some \"xiao ren\" around your kids. It's some form of bully as well though not as physical but it's like smearing your reputation.
My ds joins a particular CCA. There is another boy from another class in the same CCA. When he sees my ds got promoted to a new instrument, he also demanded that from the instructor. There was once when I was in school to fetch him, this boy ran up to my ds and said \"XX, I wish you bad luck\". I told my ds to ignore him as there is a word call retribution.
Recently, it was worst as they are preparing for SYF, this boy dropped rice on the floor in the tuckshop, when the instructor questioned, he said it's my ds. :mad: But my dd can attest that it's not my ds who did it as he didn't eat the rice at all. Also when my ds had a new mouthpiece (we bought it for him), this boy tried to snatch from him and attempt to drop it to cause dents when he heard from a alumni member that ds had the best mouthpiece and asked where he got it. But fortunately, he didn't manage. There were just too many actions from this particular boy that makes me feel that if this is someone whom i know at work, it is definitely a \"xiao ren\". I personally found such behaviour very detestable. Or rather this boy would grow up to be a typical \"xiao ren\". I also felt that maybe some of these happen out of jealousy.
Then, there is another boy who is like the section leader. He is P6 while my ds is P4. It appeared that he don't really like my ds because my ds does not \"obey\" him. He would punish him for no valid reasons. There was once, he \"took\" my ds's watch and refused to return. It was upon my dd's intervention as she witnessed his act that he did it. Also it appear that the instructor asked ds to play some of the parts this P6 was supposed to do in SYF as he couldn't do well. So again, I wonder if it is out of jealousy. I told my ds if this P6 continues like that, tell this P6 boy outright that as a leader, he better behave like one, otherwise he will tell the instructor about it. So he better buck up. I was willing to support him on this. Ds is a monitor and we would always tell him, as a monitor, he better behave like one and he cannot abuse his position.
Frankly, I was wondering what I should do. I left it to him since he is old enough to handle. Ds is quite a big sized boy too so physically I am not worried people will bully him. It might be a good exposure to learn how to handle such situation. But I thought of talking to the instructor about it but will he think it's wierd to come from me. Looking for the right time. I also thought of going up to the boy and give him a piece of my mind. But that would make me a auntie bully. It sort of bothers me as I want the best for ds of course. -
Since your DS is already in P4, talk to him and ask him how he feels about all these incidents. Is he very affected by it? Have all these incidences affected his performance in his CCA or how he feels about his CCA?
If your DS brushes it aside, then let it be. They may come home and rant but that does not mean they want us to intervene. They just want someone to vent to.
DD has a frenemy last year which I think I shared in another thread. She will at times come home with tears of frustrations over what this girl has done. And at that time, I wanted to tell the girl off or even talk to the girl’s parents about her behaviour as well. We as parents want to fight our kids’ battles for them but more often then not, it might be better to give them moral support and a shoulder to cry on if need be instead of settling their problems for them. -
auntieM:
:mad:Agree with the rest, do not let the matter rest and listen to your child. There must be parents in the centre that are affected too..
My DS have to tolerate the same bully since P1 and then he moved on to other victims. Unfortunately, DS school's after school care tolerates his nonsense. Among parents we know this bully has some behaviour issues, but the 'elite' parents just does not want their kid 'branded'.. :mad: -
Funz:
Thanks Funz. Yes, I agree that we need to give them moral support and sometimes we just got to step back though we really wanted to give the other child a piece of our mind. To me, it's also a learning process of how to handle challenging people that they meet in life.Since your DS is already in P4, talk to him and ask him how he feels about all these incidents. Is he very affected by it? Have all these incidences affected his performance in his CCA or how he feels about his CCA?
If your DS brushes it aside, then let it be. They may come home and rant but that does not mean they want us to intervene. They just want someone to vent to.
DD has a frenemy last year which I think I shared in another thread. She will at times come home with tears of frustrations over what this girl has done. And at that time, I wanted to tell the girl off or even talk to the girl's parents about her behaviour as well. We as parents want to fight our kids' battles for them but more often then not, it might be better to give them moral support and a shoulder to cry on if need be instead of settling their problems for them.
My ds hopes that the months quickly pass by so that the P6 boy will no longer be their section leader. Meanwhile for the other P4 boy, he will come home after each band practise to complain about that boy and the acts that he did that day eg. pushing him, telling lies to instructor, etc.... However, he will have to continue to face this boy since they are both P4 and potentially vying for the leader position one day.
Frankly, I just hope that his potential will not be clouded by such issues so that he will continue to have that passion for his CCA and do well. I heard very good feedback from his instructor on him being one of his best P4's, etc... and was thinking of getting a personal instructor for him. This act itself will probably brew another storm for the other kids. But I wanted him to get some grading to increase his chance. Was hoping that he will become the section leader one day as intend to use this CCA for DSA.
Not easy being a mum... -
From the many posts in k s p, 99% of parents are reasonable, not afraid to admit their child has done the wrong thing.
But we tend to not encounter parents who are reasonable people like in k s p. These pp really need to come on board and get educated… -
Bullying comes in different 'forms', and luckily my DS is dealing with it ok..
Like MMM, I didn't want to be the auntie bully so I just 'ren'
For more than two years since P1, my boy is the bully's target. Unfortunately, they attend the same enrichment class out of school so really double dose..
He will tell my DS stuffs like.. \"Be careful when you go dowm the step because I will be behind you...\" and say other mean stuff when my DS does better than him. Classic is he will hurt someone and immediately wail so loud and scream his apology.. Smart kid really..
Paiseh to hijack thread for ranting.. :oops: -
MinXin Mama,
I am glad you went to the police.
Even if the bully’s mum hung up on you, they got the message now - especially the bully (from what you described).
I am sure your boy will feel happy that his parents do listen and believe - which is more important.
MMM,
On the other P4 boy’s intended bullying on your son (trying to destroy the mouthpiece, verbal abuse, etc), did you speak to your son to voice out to the instructor?
It is fine to leave it to him to handle but i feel since we cannot always be around, would it be good to at least have a teacher aware of certain happenings? I don’t know your son so i am not sure if he is generally shy and quiet and gets pushed around? From your description, it seems your dd comes to his rescue at times and your son is not very defensive on his own?
Anyway, i hope it will work out well for him.
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