All About Puberty

[KS_me]

slmkhoo:

Recently, she started to SMSing her friends using the four letters words, going to website and watches love movies.
Have you established controls of how much freedom she gets to use her phone, what she watches etc? If you haven't, it will be harder to set them up now, but you should try. Get a time when she is more receptive, and tell her why such behaviour is bad for her (don't just say 'wrong'). We have always been strict with our girls, told them frankly why we feel certain words/websites/books/films are not edifying, and have gradually relaxed as they get older. So far, they haven't done anything we strongly object to.

Just some thoughts.

I think this is really important.

[Sun_2010]

KS_me:

Just recently, my P5 boy spotted a teenage secondary boy masturbating at the carpark's rooftop while he was looking out of the window. He quickly came to me with a shocking look and kept laughing about it. I looked out found the teen took off his school outfit, masturbating while looking at his phone. I bet it must be some kind of dirty sex video clips that aroused him till he chose to pick this spot to do the deed.


I quickly shoo my boy away and asked him to watch tv to avoid him thinking abt it.... later that night, I had super a long talk with him explaning the possible reason this teen carried out such act, tell him it's an offence to do this in the public and also engage him in the discussion openly....etc etc. At the end of the discussion, I'm so glad that my boy is able to openly talk to me about it. Of couse he has not started his puberty (not yet hairly) but he is aware what the teen is doing because of the sex education lesson he had in the school. I really not sure how this incident impact him but I hope I've done my part to educate him....

This incident had actually set me thinking....
why would that teen chose to do this in public?
what had happened to our new generation this day?
was he out of his mind or was he doing this to show off or it's just another curios act?
Maybe he just doesnt care what anyone thinks about him? :scratchhead:

what will you do as a parent do if you were me?
I think you did a great job the way you handles this with your child. Will remember this when I come across a similar situation. No pretending nothing happened

will you report this teen to the school? (I can see his school uniform) or the police?.......
In actual practice I may not do the above, may tell myself nevermind .
But what I would like to do ideally , would be to take a pic and report to school. The thing is the boy should be corrected now. Its beacuse we are to decent to confront them, think that school wont be bothered, or dont want him to get into big trouble, we keep quite. And this would encourage him, no? sometimes we have to play the part of the nosy neighbour for a better community.

[KS_me]

Sun_2010:

will you report this teen to the school? (I can see his school uniform) or the police?.......
In actual practice I may not do the above, may tell myself nevermind .
But what I would like to do ideally , would be to take a pic and report to school. The thing is the boy should be corrected now. Its beacuse we are to decent to confront them, think that school wont be bothered, or dont want him to get into big trouble, we keep quite. And this would encourage him, no? sometimes we have to play the part of the nosy neighbour for a better community.

[/quote]

In actual fact, I did took a few shot of him doing the deed. That's why when I zoom in, I'm able to see clearly his school logo. Actually I had the same thought to report him to his school thinking to correct him now, later :scratchhead: not sure if this will cause him having big trouble in school.... will the school issue him warning only or expel him out from school??? :spank: :idea: :idea: I do agree with you that at times we really have to stand up to be a noisy neighbour for a better community. :slapshead:

[NY1969]

KS_me:

slmkhoo:

Recently, she started to SMSing her friends using the four letters words, going to website and watches love movies.
Have you established controls of how much freedom she gets to use her phone, what she watches etc? If you haven't, it will be harder to set them up now, but you should try. Get a time when she is more receptive, and tell her why such behaviour is bad for her (don't just say 'wrong'). We have always been strict with our girls, told them frankly why we feel certain words/websites/books/films are not edifying, and have gradually relaxed as they get older. So far, they haven't done anything we strongly object to.

Just some thoughts.

I think this is really important.

Thanks simkhoo, ks_me,

She promise us to be obedient when we got her the laptop, even though it was necessary by the school. The fact that we parents are working the whole day and can't monitor what's going on at home. It's just barely few weeks into the secondary 1 and her altitude turn for the worst. If we ask her now not to watch any youtube movies, she turn into a deaf ear and don't even bother to reply us. Can I span her? Can I shout at her? Slow talk can't work as we have tried earlier. Am afraid she will hate us even more.

[jacsplace]

My DD is nine and very conscious of her underarm hair. Is it okay to remove it at this age? What’s the safest way?

[maycub]

Kids at this puberty age tends to feel the stress of it. To adults, it is nothing because our puberty was way way ago and it seems normal to us. Most importantly, you want to establish a good communication linkage between you and your kid. Let her know and feel that you will always be ready to talk if she is ready to. Your support is very important, rather than plain anger and shouting. You have to learn to manage your stress well so that you can help her to manage hers. Advice from a stress management specialist.

NY1969:

KS_me:

[quote=\"slmkhoo\"]Recently, she started to SMSing her friends using the four letters words, going to website and watches love movies.
Have you established controls of how much freedom she gets to use her phone, what she watches etc? If you haven't, it will be harder to set them up now, but you should try. Get a time when she is more receptive, and tell her why such behaviour is bad for her (don't just say 'wrong'). We have always been strict with our girls, told them frankly why we feel certain words/websites/books/films are not edifying, and have gradually relaxed as they get older. So far, they haven't done anything we strongly object to.

Just some thoughts.

I think this is really important.

Thanks simkhoo, ks_me,

She promise us to be obedient when we got her the laptop, even though it was necessary by the school. The fact that we parents are working the whole day and can't monitor what's going on at home. It's just barely few weeks into the secondary 1 and her altitude turn for the worst. If we ask her now not to watch any youtube movies, she turn into a deaf ear and don't even bother to reply us. Can I span her? Can I shout at her? Slow talk can't work as we have tried earlier. Am afraid she will hate us even more.[/quote]

[maycub]

Important not to nag at them. The more you nag, the more what you say will onto deaf ears. Through my recent personal experience, i became a 'out-of-town' expert for a parent and it really works!

isetan:

At this stage is usually rebellious and everything classmates say are correct, and anything we parents say will fall into deaf ear!

[Jworld]

What’s the age of puberty these days? I heard it’s getting younger and younger.

[chixchix]

Hi by the way for boys ,what are the signs of puberty and what age ?

[jacsplace]

My DD is nine and very conscious of her underarm hair. Is it okay to remove it at this age? What’s the safest way?