Extra Marital Affair

[winth]

insider:

Well, his answer was a surprise to all of us: “I love my wife and therefore I turned to prostitutes for my sexual gratification.”


His admitted that he has very high sexual fantasy through viewing of porn videos and his wife is “too decent’ to try out those ‘patterns’ illustrated in those porn videos. He said when visiting prostitutes, he can ask them to do anything that he fancies, such as licking everyone of his toes, his anal, etc, as well as allowing him to do anal sex, more than 1 woman servicing him, etc (he gave many more examples but these are the few that I could still remember). For all these, if he were to ask his wife to do so maybe ‘humiliating’ to her and he risked upsetting the ‘regular’ sessions that he still has with his wife that he commented is very ‘boring’ but he still has to do so else his wife may think that he does not love her anymore. He asked us back if your husband asked you to lick his anal, would you and we all shook our head and he said, “That’s why lah!”

He feels ‘recharged’ after each visit to experienced prostitute and such recharge enables him to be more positive in his job and benefits his career indirectly (his is a purchaser in an F&B chain).

He told us that visiting prostitutes outside got nothing to do with his love for his wife and his family. His ‘guiding principle’ is not to have any sexual relationship with friends else it will be ‘wrong’ but prostitutes are just prostitutes and they would never replace his family. He asked us why women can’t get this thing correct in our mind and must hold this fixed thinking that once men commit sexual relationship outside a marriage means a man doesn’t love the wife anymore. He ‘advised’ us not to think too deep into a spouse’s extra marital affair if such affair does not lead to the spouse keeping a permanent woman outside the main house.

:shock: he can sure explain his actions really well.
It almost sounded like going for 'spa treatment' to me. Licking his toes and making his whole body feel serviced. Weird though that he still has to keep it a secret instead of 'correcting' his wife's 'mindset'.

[Ahmih]

insider:

She is now operating in Malaysia and is quite well known there. She told us in her clinic, a couple is supposed to do 'it' in front of her and then she will 'correct' their posture and teach them what to do to satisfy each other...

The psychology course somehow healed her guilt and shame of her past bad behaviours (she enjoyed the sex but felt guilt / shameful at the same time). My Trainer, through hypnosis, somehow made her understand sort of her previous experiences were necessary as helping couples to have a pleasurable experience in their life time relationship is her calling for her life as without such, it is difficult for her to be a Sex Counselor. The key learning lesson is always to forgive ourselves and make as much positive contribution as we can and move forward without those guilt of past mistakes (converting negative thoughts into positive energy).

What a woman. Well, at least she was upfront about her needs. When they're out of their closets, it is easier for others to 'accept' them. When a person choose to live double life, that's when trouble brews. Just like Insider friend, he was upfront with his childhood friend and even if one of those friends were to like him, I'm sure they'll steer clear knowing he can't make the cut as a committed husband. Same for my GF, if she knew he visited pro before, she really would think twice about their relationship.

There's something about the profile of people who enjoys pro. I think they're pretty selfish and delusional. And I think if the calling come for them to sacrifice themselves for the family, they will back down at the last min no matter how 'garang' they always project themselves to be. Bcos, they are already weak in their flesh and mind to even give up 'indecent' sexual pleasure in the first place. Wouldn't that be counted as a 'sacrifice' for the family if they decided to start one? Those jerks are just trying to 'justify' their guilt. Sorry...yeah, pretty upset with this bunch of people.

I'm not against sexual pleasure, who doesn't like to feel good or reach orgasm? Equally important, I feel both partners should carry out experiments together to explore their pleasurable points. For folks who like pros, they maybe exposed to Level 9 techniques with those women whereas their wives are at level 2 or 3. It would only be 'fair' if the husband 'progressively' train and explore with their wives so that they also progress onward to a higher level. But honestly, man hardly wants to spend their time doing that I suspect. Besides, they may have to do additional 'unrelated-to-sex-chores' to prep their wives (know what I mean?). They just prefer 'instant gratification' on most time. Wives' technique range maybe shorter cos they play other roles in the family too and constantly worried about the family. How I wish man are more thoughtful and loving like us woman. When they are, they will find the rewards are tremendous!!

My GF said if it wasn't that some of the sexual actics are 'unhygenic' and poses a 'health hazard', she won't mind doing it too if her husband enjoys it. Don't forget, a couple spend lifetime together and they have kids. Need to think with the big brain lah... A pro maybe just a one-off, (crudely and sadly) who cares if you contract SD or other aliments? they don't need to 'be together in good times and bad'. Right?!

BTW Insider, how is it that during a pyychology course the trainer uses hypnosis on her? Is that a 'proper' practice? My GF and I are also interested in pyschology course, which is a reliable school for such course?

[Funz]

winth:

:shock: he can sure explain his actions really well.

It almost sounded like going for 'spa treatment' to me. Licking his toes and making his whole body feel serviced. Weird though that he still has to keep it a secret instead of 'correcting' his wife's 'mindset'.

I wonder, can he accept it if his wife looks for sexual gratification elsewhere and engages in group sex and hires gigolo to service her from head to toe.

[westmom]

ChiefKiasu:

buds arh... I didn't realize you are as blind as me when it comes to Chinese :lol:

Make that 3 - I sigh each time I see chinese posting and wishes the site has software to do translation ..!

[westmom]

Funz:

I wonder, can he accept it if his wife looks for sexual gratification elsewhere and engages in group sex and hires gigolo to service her from head to toe.

Perhaps another question to pose to these married men who thinks there's nothing wrong in finding sexual pleasure elsewere....Will they accept a son-in-law who is doing this secretly if they find out that he is this \"type\"? Will they themselves be mad with their son-in-law? or future son-in law? It will be interesting to know what is their answer!

[Funz]

insider:

This kind of thing is 'fine' as long as the cat is not out of the bag else all hell may break loose.


I have seen quite a number of people who lead a double life (think I wrote something about this in one of the teenage thread). When people are well clothed, behave well, speak well, etc, we will assume that they are well and their true face probably is only known to themselves or only known to a selective group of people. Taking the 'story' a step further, his wife looks decent and humble and chances are she is a good woman but I cannot say that 100% she is 'clean' outside. What if she also has a similar life outside the home? If she also leads a double life, chances are he also will not accept and may file for divorce and the wife may do the same to him in the event that she discovers his 'hobby'.

So, as long as the cat is still in the bag, the Happy Family picture will still be intact...

PS: Aiya, talking about gigolo. Now recall I have another story about a girlfriend (not a close one) who keeps such outside her marriage. This story quite a dramatic one. People like this are usually with high sexual drive that cannot be satisfied by spouse and so maybe a 'mis-match' in terms of this area...

This is precisely what I am talking about. He wants women to get it into their heads that looking for pros, is not tantamount to a betrayal and that women should accept it and not read too much into it as to him it is about getting serviced (maybe to him it is like going for a spa?). But conversely if his wife were to engage in such activities, doubt he will be able to take it.

And of course, ignorance is bliss. But has he even considered the risk that he is exposing his wife to? So what if he uses a condom, there are other STDs that condoms cannot fully protect against and one of them is the HPV virus. Which also is the leading virus that causes cervical cancer in women.

Aiyoh, Insider, you have a lot of very 'colourful' frens. Really interesting to read your posts.

[winth]

westmom:

Perhaps another question to pose to these married men who thinks there's nothing wrong in finding sexual pleasure elsewere....Will they accept a son-in-law who is doing this secretly if they find out that he is this \"type\"? Will they themselves be mad with their son-in-law? or future son-in law? It will be interesting to know what is their answer!

:lol: I'm quite sure another highly logical answer will come out from such people that such act from the son-in-law is not acceptable but no one will point finger on the FIL. (I still can't get over the 'reason' he gave to insider and gang about why he looks for prostitutes)

These people think that the world evolves only around them.

[winth]

insider:

PS: Aiya, talking about gigolo. Now recall I have another story about a girlfriend (not a close one) who keeps such outside her marriage. This story quite a dramatic one. People like this are usually with high sexual drive that cannot be satisfied by spouse and so maybe a 'mis-match' in terms of this area...

There are really all types of people out there.
This is better than reading gossip papers man!

[Ahmih]

winth:

My guy friend who kanna STD (under treatment now), has very loose values of LOVE and SEX. Hope he recovers and changes his views of women as just sex (and brainless) objects.

Well, these type of guys always say pro they love family and will change, but quite rare. Can anyone here (confidently) quote anyone that they know who turns over new leaf in this aspect? Insider any positive story (besides your own account?) recover to recharge...

*sigh, they really shouldn't get married in the first place and all will be happy. Isn't it? Just play until they die lah, and keep friends for companionship loh. Why marry woman if you can't commit sexually?

[3Boys]

Looks like the men are conspicuous in their absence from this thread…