Home for kids

[longmao.029846irene]

I wana follow tis thread!

[iFirefly]

rains:

Oh dear, read this book please:

http://motivationgenome.blogspot.sg/2012/07/chapter-3-of-petunias-book-for-browsing.html

and you will realise the reason your son is unmotivated is really you. Ever since I read that book, I don't use the word 'unmotivated' on my kid anymore!

:goodpost:

Both parents seem to have forgotten that their kid is the product of themselves.. No good, just send him away for good.. Then why brought him into this world in the first place??!! :mad:

[ammonite]

Namie,


It’s accumulated stress speaking. Give yourself a break from any expectations or worries about your child’s future for one day and you will feel better. Recharge your batteries - go for a foot massage during lunch break, buy a favourite dessert etc.

While there are some super motivated competitive children around, the average child is not like that. When you feel a bit better, take a realistic look at your goals for your child and see if they are realistic for him at his current state. What is ‘good enough’?

For me, good enough is my son (p3) finishing and checking all his school homework by himself, do the exercises prescribed by his OT (only 10min) and an hour of Chinese revision with me. I know this is very little compared to his peers, but this is his emotional maximum for daily work and is an improvement for a daydreamer. He is not in the top class and has mild learning issues. Dh and I know we cannot push him beyond a certain limit without damaging him and our relationship even though we know he is capable of more intellectually. Dh as a late bloomer, is also very sanguine about ds. It is more important to keep up the love for learning and discovery, than to be the top 3 every year if the latter has to come at a high cost.

Being patient with his brother, watching his manners, and tidying up after himself are other markers of his growth. If you expand your perspective beyond academics, you may feel better. It is really not the end all and be all.

[janet88]

Namie:

Our son is lazy, spending his time on TV only. My husband and I have decided to send him away for good. Do anyone know are there children's homes to take in the kid?

bring him out for a meal at a quiet restaurant, talk to him and find out the reason(s). it can be very frustrating for yourself and hubby to see child watching tv all the time but sending your son away is going to be painful and have emotional side-effects on him.
are you and your hubby stressed with work ?

[limlim]

Usually the kid’s behavior is a reflection/consequence/product of the environment(i.e. upbringing, parent’s conduct etc…).


If the parent is unmotivated (in motivating the kid, daily activities etc…), it can have a direct influence on the kid. Parents are the kid’s example to follow.

[keroppi]

Namie:

Our son is lazy, spending his time on TV only. My husband and I have decided to send him away for good. Do anyone know are there children's homes to take in the kid?

It's a bit too drastic, isn't it? Why not remove the TV for good?

The TV in my home is like a white elephant, don't think anyone will notice if I were to discard it.

[jedamum]

Namie,

is it just a rant?
or u are sending him away to a relative’s house where there are better/more model peer for him to look up to?
if u send him to children’s home, not only will u have unmotivated children, u may end up with one who gets onto the wrong side of the law next time due to bad peer influence.

[coolbreeze]

ngl2010:

Are you showing your posts to your DS?


My sister used to threaten her DD2 that she will make her stay with me if the girl is naughty. The threat is only effective for 1 hour. Once the girl forgot, she misbehave again.... Kekekeke....

My first thought when I read this: 'You must be one hell of an aunt!'
:rotflmao: No offence hor, jk only!

[ImMeeMee]

ammonite:

Namie,


It's accumulated stress speaking. Give yourself a break from any expectations or worries about your child's future for one day and you will feel better. Recharge your batteries - go for a foot massage during lunch break, buy a favourite dessert etc.

While there are some super motivated competitive children around, the average child is not like that. When you feel a bit better, take a realistic look at your goals for your child and see if they are realistic for him at his current state. What is 'good enough'?

For me, good enough is my son (p3) finishing and checking all his school homework by himself, do the exercises prescribed by his OT (only 10min) and an hour of Chinese revision with me. I know this is very little compared to his peers, but this is his emotional maximum for daily work and is an improvement for a daydreamer. He is not in the top class and has mild learning issues. Dh and I know we cannot push him beyond a certain limit without damaging him and our relationship even though we know he is capable of more intellectually. Dh as a late bloomer, is also very sanguine about ds. It is more important to keep up the love for learning and discovery, than to be the top 3 every year if the latter has to come at a high cost.

Being patient with his brother, watching his manners, and tidying up after himself are other markers of his growth. If you expand your perspective beyond academics, you may feel better. It is really not the end all and be all.

:goodpost:

[ImMeeMee]

Namie


Truth be told, when I first read your post, I went ‘I dont believe this …’.

But since you have been very brief about your situation, maybe there’s really more to the eye?

I agree with ammonite. I too have a special needs child. Moderate your expectations. Sort things out. Never give up. There is no back door where our own kids are concerned. It can be tough but its not impossible.

All the best.