Asperger? Hyperactive?
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O, I am really not good with this KSP system. How do you guys know where is posted by who everywhere? I wished I knew. Always late. :stupid:
First to soup: my son had to see the MOE EP because he ran into a series of problems in P2, and the school had to call the EP in. We first visited the psychologist because the school insisted he was ADHD which I knew he was not, because I read up quite a bit and I know my son. I was proven correct. I also told the EP he is more likely to have AS, since he has 5 out of 6 of the symptoms, but I am not sure. After 2 years of observing him, the EP agreed with me.
If the child is really AS, he needs intervention to help him. He is not capable of picking up social skills, not that he does not want. Up till today, I still have to repeatedly tell my son how to button his shirt. This sounds so strange, because he is doing secondary school maths. His social and motor skills just won't function well. You can tell him a zillion time not to say something, but he will still blah it out, and then felt bad and regret. He needs a lot of training just to do something a normal guy can without any help.
So, AS is a disability, and need help and intervention.
SID comes with AS, always. Depending on which sense is involved, can be audio, sight, touch , many will need help to deal with this sensitivity. Can be very painful to just touch them. A whole lot more symptoms here they are:
Social awkwardness / no friends
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Obsessions / focused on one subject
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Lack of eye contact
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Sensitivity to noise / touch / feel of clothing
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Slow to begin talking
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Odd speech / extreme logic / very proper speech
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Anger / aggression / hitting others
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Craves ROUTINE!
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Appears lost / in own world
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Flapping hands
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Communication problems or motor skills problems
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Stimming behavior
Check them out for yourselves to see if your kid is asperger's. Sometimes, Asperger is called the 'price of a genius', because aspies are so intense and focussed, yes, they do come up with solutions that can heal the world. :lol:
That's how I console myself lah... in those moments DS did not get into trouble.
Here's how an aspie feels inside him:
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/fitting_in.htm
AS are also normally mistaken for poor parenting.
Basically, the child just wants to fit in. So friends, whether or not you have an aspie, when you see a child behaving weird, socially poor or even abusive, give another chance, he could be wanting to fit in without knowing or without the relevant skills to know how.
I often ask myself this, if my child who can do sec school maths since 8 is not asking your 12 year old why he can't, then can you please give him a chance and understand why he cannot understand the expression on your face? He doesn't know you are angry... -
[quote]Wah...the first test sounded strange...and the labelling...hmmm...why so eager to conclude unless that is leading to more tests? If not, they might have stopped further tests? [/quote]
1st test cost only $25. Short Q&A. Their main aim, no issue in school, can drop the case. But why label when it's done very sloppily? Dont forget that his file will be shared to school so that teachers & school will be notified.
[quote]Now like that also stressful hor? Wait 2 months for a verdict....hopefully they give you some good suggestions otherwise can prepare some rotten eggs in hand.... [/quote]I'm like :frustrated: when I heard, the earliest will be 2 months time. Based on the Q&A, I think he flung the asperger test. Almost all the questions are no. The Q&A are definitely more suitable for dd. -
2ppaamm, not sure what is your first struggle question on KSP but if you want to search for say, En’s post(the "who"), you can use the search function and her posts will appear and you can choose which one you want to view, that will determine the "where" I suppose?
Thanks for sharing more on AS. At least when I see a super bright spark next time showing any aggression, I won’t jump to conclusion on parenting issue. So far we have met many brilliant kids showing violence to other kids but have not seen the EG type yet showing such behaviour. But now I know better…it is just how they are…and I like your last analogy which is succint and clear. -
En, it sounds like if you have not gotten a good feel about the process for your son now, it does give you alot of clue to your dd's behaviour.
So your son maybe just needed an IQ test only but your dd may need more of their advice on how to correct some things you have in mind.
Net is you lose some time for your ds but you gain some insight for your dd....not so frustrating hor... :hugs: -
keke. Sorry 22ppaamm. I understand how you feel.
I’ve turned blue just to ensure dd comb her hair and put on her clothes neatly. I remember able to tie up my hair to school neatly as soon as I entered P2. But dd still can’t tie up her hair neatly. Today, she spilled maple syrup all over the living room. Why? She wants to eat in the balcony instead of living room. I don’t know how she spilled it.
Often when she was young, I got extremely angry because she is so clumsy. It’s ds always come to her rescue and of couse I got told off by a 5 years old. His exact words "when a person is slow in understanding, you teach and when a person is clumsy, you help. It’s not as if she do it purposely."
See how topsy turvy my life can be? -
[quote]En, it sounds like if you have not gotten a good feel about the process for your son now, it does give you alot of clue to your dd's behaviour. [/quote]
You so clever. :hugs:
Yes, me and dh were looking at each other during Q&A. We even told the psychologist that the questions are more suitable for dd.
To the mummy who told me to read up on asperger. Thank you so much.
It really helps to understand and put things neatly for dd. -
EN:
[quote]En, it sounds like if you have not gotten a good feel about the process for your son now, it does give you alot of clue to your dd's behaviour.
You so clever. :hugs:
Yes, me and dh were looking at each other during Q&A. We even told the psychologist that the questions are more suitable for dd.
To the mummy who told me to read up on asperger. Thank you so much. It really helps to understand and put things neatly for dd.[/quote]Parenting is really an experiment sometimes....I am definitely still doing alot of experiment and trying to figure things out :lol: ...but glad you found your answers to your dd. :celebrate:
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ks2me:
Thanks! I thought there might be a short cut somewhere. Looks like I have to be diligent... :lol:2ppaamm, not sure what is your first struggle question on KSP but if you want to search for say, En's post(the \"who\"), you can use the search function and her posts will appear and you can choose which one you want to view, that will determine the \"where\" I suppose?
Thanks for sharing more on AS. At least when I see a super bright spark next time showing any aggression, I won't jump to conclusion on parenting issue. So far we have met many brilliant kids showing violence to other kids but have not seen the EG type yet showing such behaviour. But now I know better.....it is just how they are....and I like your last analogy which is succint and clear.
My last analogy have to be used carefully, some people thought it is boasting. But really, what's there to boast about a kid who cannot even read expression on a person's face?
AS kids sometimes look like bullies, but really, they often are the victims of bully. Last week, this P2 came to me and asked me my son's name. Then he told me nobody knows his name, they just called him by a nickname, which sounded weird and bad. But DS has no clue he was being labelled by his friends. Watch this, we can teach our non-autistic kids to make life better for those who need help. Only kids can help kids.
http://www.aspergerssurvivalguide.com/articles/bully1.htm
AS parents and kids need help from their classmates and friends. I look forward to more joining us to understand our special needs kids. -
[quote]AS parents and kids need help from their classmates and friends. I look forward to more joining us to understand our special needs kids.[/quote]
I understand how you feel 2ppaamm. As a mother I would love to get my child to be at someone birthday party and enjoy herself. She does get invitations. But as always, I will ensure or make some excuses just to be around her. She can just stand there rooted, not knowing how to join in. Then you will see her shoulder started to sag. I will give her a hug then, boost up her confidence and help her to ease through those moments.
Often enough when eating out, she will always spill her drinks. Countless of times. Irony is, the spilled drinks always ends up on ds pristine white shirt or t-shirt.
She can walk and trip over her own feet or carry a bowl of soup (not filled up to the brim) and spilled it.
Your ds is given a good brain to go with. My dd is given art & computer (not even the programming kind), the rest of the subjects she struggles to complete everyday. It was near 12 midnight when she cleared up her homework. I got to sit besides her ensuring that her mind is on the task. -
EN:
[quote]AS parents and kids need help from their classmates and friends. I look forward to more joining us to understand our special needs kids.
I understand how you feel 2ppaamm. As a mother I would love to get my child to be at someone birthday party and enjoy herself. She does get invitations. But as always, I will ensure or make some excuses just to be around her. She can just stand there rooted, not knowing how to join in. Then you will see her shoulder started to sag. I will give her a hug then, boost up her confidence and help her to ease through those moments.
Often enough when eating out, she will always spill her drinks. Countless of times. Irony is, the spilled drinks always ends up on ds pristine white shirt or t-shirt.
She can walk and trip over her own feet or carry a bowl of soup (not filled up to the brim) and spilled it.
Your ds is given a good brain to go with. My dd is given art & computer (not even the programming kind), the rest of the subjects she struggles to complete everyday. It was near 12 midnight when she cleared up her homework. I got to sit besides her ensuring that her mind is on the task.[/quote]EN, OT a bit, GM today?
All the kids have good brains, we just have to find that gift and nurture it to the best of our abilities as parents.
Talking about that, I was just thinking with DS yesterday about what he wants to study in the uni. It was quite obvious it will be robotics. So I sat down with him and drafted a path. Now he has more time, and now that I have 'woken' up, we will do some more advanced stuff at home. I told him when it is time for him to go uni, likely in the States since Singapore does not have any course like this, I will go with him.
It will mean the other 4 will be left on their own here. Still figuring out how to handle that. By then, I guess the older 3 will have graduated, but the last one will be really young.
Just like Ge Tai, you can survive with just 3 songs. If we nurture that few gifts God bestowed upon our kids, he/she will become somebody. The positive side about AS is that we can find their gifts and passion very early , compared to others. I know of friends who still don't know what they want to do in their 40s.
Ok, let's look at things positively. We spend less time groping and more time nurturing. Do you want some references to good computer courses? Art: DS1 is in Art Uni. I did nothing much to nurture his art. My suggestion on how to nurture the artist: Just give her lots of materials and let her draw and draw. You will soon recognize the pattern and what she wants or likes to draw. Then, buy books related (anime, cartoons, still life, oil painting, sculpture etc).
What do you think?
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