Asperger? Hyperactive?
-
bcet0104:
O, your child sounds exactly like mine in these aspects. Have you checked with the psychologists? Hm, he could really be very angry with something, or suffering from some pain that aggravates the anger.At home, he's a very easy child, but a completely different person in school.
I am aware that other parents have commented that his behaviour is due to poor parenting. But what they didn't understand is that we have exhausted all means (punishment, rewards, intervention, alternative therapies), but nothing works. Sometimes, I really feel like I have failed in my duty
It has gotten to a point where I would rather avoid socialising with other parents as they would tell me that my son is a plain spoilt brat right in my face 
I am seeing less and less of fits and anger from DS ever since he changed school. So a change of environment may help. How old is he?
Forget about parents who can never understand. Don't let them spoil your day. You have us! -
Sigh… we have given up seeking consultation from the psychologist. DS seems to have a very high level of anxiety… not sure why he feels that way, but he’s worried abt everything and is very rigid in his thinking. i have this nagging feeling that he may be a borderline aspie but both EPs hv brushed it off.
he’s now in p3 and we have recently transferred him to a new school (at the beginning of the year). up till now he’s still struggling to form new friendships (it took him more than a year to form friendship with another boy back in his old school). -
Hi bcet0104,
Don’t avoid other parents, otherwise, your child will be subject to even more ‘bullying’.
Go to school more, if you are not working full-time. Go during recess, by-pass the security by telling all sorts of excuses. Get involved in ALL the activities you can, volunteer for excursions, sit in the canteen, PSG. Make yourself the most prominent and most involved parent there. The children will start to give you ‘face’ and make friends with DS. Buy sweets to distribute, chocolates. Talk to his friends. He will then learn from you how to hold a meaningful conversation. When you are successful, so will he be.
Other parents will start to be more positive and realise that you are not an irresponsible mum, and stop judging your son based on that. As more approach you because you know more than them, you can start to share your difficulty. Always be generous with the information you collected through your involvement with the class or school, give something to them, deposit in an emotional account with them. When the need comes, when your boy misbehaves, they will then draw from that account and give your boy a break.
As for the child. Be brave and take time to think and learn about him. See what strategies work and what do not. Be always on his side. No matter what others say. If the world is already against him, he doesn’t need mummy to be on the other side. If you won’t fight for him, who will?
These are the things I am doing. Things are improving and now, 60% of the time, it is ok, the rest of the 40%, I’m hoping to reduce that slowly. He used to get into trouble 90% of school days. So this is a great improvement for me. My son is just 1 year older than yours.
Let’s work on this, and as we see our children improve, let’s give each other encouragement and move on. The journey is long and slow, but we will get there. -
2ppaamm, thank you so much for your advice. U never cease to amaze me. I dont know how you manage with 5 kids, but I am definitely struggling with just 1.
looks like our boys have a lot in common... my DS too gets into trouble most of the time (I get complains every other day from his FT) back in his old school. we are
ing hard, hoping that he will settle in soon enough and get into less trouble in his new school.
I wake up everyday, telling myself to look on the bright side and look upon it as an honour from our Lord to be trusted with the responsibillity of a \"special child\". But it is so emotionally draining, and I can't help but to wonder \"why can't he socialise well\" at times (though I do know the answer).
again, thank you so much for your advice and support. I am so glad to have found mothers like you. -
[quote]Just like Ge Tai, you can survive with just 3 songs. If we nurture that few gifts God bestowed upon our kids, he/she will become somebody. The positive side about AS is that we can find their gifts and passion very early , compared to others. I know of friends who still don't know what they want to do in their 40s.
Ok, let's look at things positively. We spend less time groping and more time nurturing. Do you want some references to good computer courses? Art: DS1 is in Art Uni. I did nothing much to nurture his art. My suggestion on how to nurture the artist: Just give her lots of materials and let her draw and draw. You will soon recognize the pattern and what she wants or likes to draw. Then, buy books related (anime, cartoons, still life, oil painting, sculpture etc). [/quote]For her drawing, she has already form a pattern. What I have done is to notify both dh & my father to impart some other drawing skills for her to pick up. I'm finding an art class to boost her morale. Hmmm...if I let her draw, she will end up drawing all the time. I will get more calls from teachers for homework not handed in.
What kind of good computer courses can I send her? Let me see if can do it from home if it is those related to what I have already know.
Well only time will tell if she is AS. I have gotten the appointment date, at last. -
EN:
Hi EN,
For her drawing, she has already form a pattern. What I have done is to notify both dh & my father to impart some other drawing skills for her to pick up. I'm finding an art class to boost her morale. Hmmm...if I let her draw, she will end up drawing all the time. I will get more calls from teachers for homework not handed in.
What kind of good computer courses can I send her? Let me see if can do it from home if it is those related to what I have already know.
Well only time will tell if she is AS. I have gotten the appointment date, at last.
Does not matter if she is AS or not as a mother. Being diagnosed only help us explain her behavior in school. As mothers, we'll love our kids regardless, right?
So, our job is to find her passion and love.
When DS1 was young, if he had to do homework, he will have a blank piece of paper hidden below his homework book. The moment I walk out, he WILL doodle. That annoyed me to no end. I ended up sitting next to him to ensure he finished his work. This lasted till end of PSLE. After PSLE, I simply let go. But by then, I had him on another path, which was to prepare him for tertiary education. He spent another 18 months in school and then went on to the uni studying what he loves.
So, the key is to keep our kids engaged no matter how disinterested until he/she can go on to his/her passion. Or, now that SOTA is here, her pain is really short. Once she is out of Primary school, she can then draw no end at SOTA. Have you considered that? Now will a promise to go to art school in another 2 years motivate her?
Find out the criteria of SOTA and let her know what they are. Help her come out with a portofolio. I'm thinking we should help DD pursue her dreams. As for whatever disabilities she displays now. I know they will dissipate slowly once she can pursue her dreams. I know for sure girls can cope better.
If it only takes 200 or so points to get into SOTA, are you aiming 270? To get 200, let's say we aim a bit higher 220, what do you think we need to do? For DS1, he did not study a day for PSLE having trouble just doing homework, I have teachers calling me no end. But I told them I only needed 200 points, but I will ask my son to study hard. He did well lah, but I did not let the world's pressure affect me. I knew he will have an alternative path - because he had DSA. So aim for that DSA for DD.
Does it help? Really hope to see the girl flourish!
There are some computer courses online if you want to try. They are expensive but very good.
waiting for that milestone post.
-
Hi mummies (& daddies),
DH and myself are thinking of seeking a 3rd opinion and have DS assessed for AS. Does anyone have a good psychologist to recommend??
Thx! -
[quote]Does not matter if she is AS or not as a mother. Being diagnosed only help us explain her behavior in school. As mothers, we'll love our kids regardless, right? So, our job is to find her passion and love.
[/quote]Yeap. The labelling does not matter. What I need to know most is how to help her out.
[quote]When DS1 was young, if he had to do homework, he will have a blank piece of paper hidden below his homework book. The moment I walk out, he WILL doodle. That annoyed me to no end. I ended up sitting next to him to ensure he finished his work. This lasted till end of PSLE. [/quote]Thanks for sharing about DS1. Same as mine. The minute I turn, she wil start to doodle & the papers are all over the place. Even before sleeping, there will either be paper & pencil underneath blanket/pillow or a story book. I wish I have the patience to sit besides her all the time. But my current work is extremely demanding. I have since surrender & told dh to start assisting whenever things get too ovewhelming. It's not easy to ask dh. I have my pride that I am always a go getter person. But things are just a little bit too much on my plate at the moment.
[quote]Or, now that SOTA is here, her pain is really short. Once she is out of Primary school, she can then draw no end at SOTA. Have you considered that? Now will a promise to go to art school in another 2 years motivate her?[/quote]Yes, that is the plan that I cook up and share with her during her hospitalization stay last week. I can see that she is a changed girl this week.
[quote]If it only takes 200 or so points to get into SOTA, are you aiming 270? To get 200, let's say we aim a bit higher 220, what do you think we need to do? [/quote]I don't aim very high. If she can get 220, I'm happy enough. I hope by giving in to her love of drawing, she will have a better self esteem. -
[quote]DH and myself are thinking of seeking a 3rd opinion and have DS assessed for AS. Does anyone have a good psychologist to recommend??
[/quote]Can I know how was the process done for the two assessments? How many meet up were there? Were there any Q&A, feedback based on teacher/parents observations, the number of test done etc? What kind of test was carried out? -
EN:
Can I know how was the process done for the two assessments? How many meet up were there? Were there any Q&A, feedback based on teacher/parents observations, the number of test done etc? What kind of test was carried out?[/quote]Hi EN,[quote]DH and myself are thinking of seeking a 3rd opinion and have DS assessed for AS. Does anyone have a good psychologist to recommend??
For the first assessment, we completed both teachers and parent observation questionaires. He has his first assessment at the age of 5. The psychologist assessed him using the WISC-III assessment and found significant discrepancies btw his processing and verbal/cognitive IQ. Suspected he may have sensory issues and he was further assessed by an OT. He was diagnosed to have poor vestibular and proprioceptive awareness, coupled with hypersensitivity to tactile touches and auditory inputs and poor fine and gross motor skills.
After the diagnosis, he went through intensive occupational therapy for more than 2 years. The 2nd assessment was done by the psychologist in the therapy center. As the therapists have worked with him more than 2yrs (during the summer holidays he will attend their summer school), they completed the observations and conducted a number of tests which included TAPS, OT assessments and diagnostic questionaires for ADHD and autism. Again, they could not find any conclusive evidence for ADHD or Asperger. I pointed out to the EP that I do see signs of AS, but she concluded that it is simply a trait of a high IQ child.
It is really frustrating as his behaviour in school can be very disruptive to the teachers and other students. However, we dont have those issues at home as he will complete his own work and happily sit in a corner and read his books. He doesnt ask for the TV, nor ask to play computer games or the Wii. He will clean up after himself and wash his own dishes after meals. But once he gets to school, he just simply transforms into Mr Hyde. We are really at our wits end as we dont know how else we can help him to integrate better in school :stupid:
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login