Ang Pow Issues...

[cool_hi]

Erm…my mum took ALL Ang paos given by relatives leh…claiming it’s her right(though she knew we had a tough time paying for wedding dnr,almost didn’t want to hold one’)…

Yet lately,she said something very hurting ＂嫁出去的女儿，泼出去的水＂…I was thinking this kind of water good leh…easy to expose & get cash reward somemore!!sigh

[Big fish]

cool_hi:

Erm..my mum took ALL Ang paos given by relatives leh..claiming it's her right(though she knew we had a tough time paying for wedding dnr,almost didn't want to hold one')..

Yet lately,she said something very hurting ＂嫁出去的女儿，泼出去的水＂..I was thinking this kind of water good leh..easy to expose & get cash reward somemore!!sigh

Oh, sad to hear that....your REAL mother??? You must have a hard time!
Cheer up, at least you found a great husband!!! :rahrah:

[Precious2.012911lee]

cool_hi:

Erm..my mum took ALL Ang paos given by relatives leh..claiming it's her right(though she knew we had a tough time paying for wedding dnr,almost didn't want to hold one')..

Yet lately,she said something very hurting ＂嫁出去的女儿，泼出去的水＂..I was thinking this kind of water good leh..easy to expose & get cash reward somemore!!sigh

In fact, I always thought red packets given by the bride's relatives are meant for parents to keep. Your mum could be right i think. My parents returned those ang paos to me as my uncles and aunties gave the red packets earlier, before actual wedding day. My husband and i insisted my parents keep all those ang paos. It was just a little token of appreciation for their upbringing.

[DesertWind]

When I got married 8 years ago, I had the banquet at a restaurant, not hotel, costing about SGD550/= per table for about 30 tables. The guests on average gave SGD100 per person. Lowest was SGD50/= for a no-show. However, about 8 tables were \"given\" to my mother since she is marrying out a daughter. She said it was her right to keep all the ang pows from our side of relatives as part of the \"ping zing\". As the coordinator for my own wedding banquet, you can understand the $$$ :moneyflies: that went through my mind. Luckily from the above simple maths can calculate that we managed to cover the cost of the dinner despite my mother keeping all the relatives' ang pow. So I got to pay for my own wedding package and photo-shots which came up to a few thousand dollars. I wish I get the relatives ang pow lor, then I will break-even! :razz:


[PS: We did not have sharks-fin soup by the way, since my hubby's family does not support. So we got seafood soup instead. ]

[pinkblue]

I thought it is a common practice that parents(female side) get to keep the ang bao?


I did not ask for the money back but my parents returned me $5000 to cover the cost.

[dimsum]

cool_hi:

Erm..my mum took ALL Ang paos given by relatives leh..claiming it's her right(though she knew we had a tough time paying for wedding dnr,almost didn't want to hold one')..

Yet lately,she said something very hurting ＂嫁出去的女儿，泼出去的水＂..I was thinking this kind of water good leh..easy to expose & get cash reward somemore!!sigh

By traditional customs, the male side must give the female side a certain number of tables, it's 'ping jing\". So, nothing wrong for your mum to take all the ang paos given by relatives.

[friendship]

‘ping jing’ should be given separately by the bridegroom’s family before the wedding takes place. Not using the dinner collection. May be different custom bah.

[yanyan]

Yea… Ping jing is given during the guo da li…my mum & us agreed on the ping jing amt & all ang paos were returned to us for payment of the dinner…

[Funz]

In the past, for Chinese, the groom’s parents are the ones who have to pay for the dinner. They have to offer a decent pin jing to the bride’s family for their efforts in bringing up a daughter. As the bride’s parents have to prepare a dowry for their daughter as well, so it seems normal that they get to keep the ang baos collected from the dinner.


However in modern day, the bride and the grooms usually pay for the entire shindig themselves. So it would appear unfair that the ang boas get confiscated by the parents.

[friendship]

if the couple pays all by themselves, they should have upper hand to tell their parents not to interfere with the ang pows. Ask the relatives to put in the box, as the couple needs to cover the dinner cost after the dinner.