SAHP or working is better?

[corneyAmber]

Blobbi:

Ooh. Nothing gets *my* hackles up faster than to see/hear abuse heaped on my kid! :x :x

Can't remember what I've done in the past (selective memory!), but yow, watch out!! What's with these parents???!

Yes I was fuming too, but at the parents... :x :x , in fact that was one main concern I had expressed before the class started to the admin and true enough we encountered one right away!! You know the probability of running into one such kid is so high(even in school) that I find it daunting.......you almost can predict who you are going to run into next!

So far I got the teachers and school to deal with these kids and their parents. Interestingly, the school told me that they had met so obnoxious kids who told them that teachers could not scold them because THEY(the kids) were paying their salaries. For such children and parents, the door is always open outwards for them according to the school and I cheer the school for this. No big no small!!!! Now you know why we need 弟子规...*sigh*

[autumnbronze]

ks2me:

Interestingly, the school told me that they had met so obnoxious kids who told them that teachers could not scold them because THEY(the kids) were paying their salaries. For such children and parents, the door is always open outwards for them according to the school and I cheer the school for this. No big no small!!!! Now you know why we need 弟子规...*sigh*

ks2me,

You mean they start so young ....... (Referring to statement in bold)

I thought this only happens with older kids. My colleague had that thrown at her, and mind you, we were teaching in one of the top schs .... Then another one related how one girl told her \"what have you got to teach that I don't already know\" :!:

[skunk]

ks2me:

My child went for a class today and first thing she stepped in, a boy said \"Kill her!\", only because she was new?? :roll: :roll:

whether we like it or not, we live in a world where the civilised has to share space with the uncivilised. And for the civilised to survive, we must have certain uncivil tactics to deal with the uncivilised.

No point being a gentleman with a barbarian, and a gentleman who's unable to subdue a barbarian, will one day find civility vanquished.

Children who occasionally fight, argue and quarrel, learn the finer points of dealing with the nasty bits of human-human relationships, by being involved in the very thick of it.

All it takes for Evil to succeed, is for Good Men to do nothing about it.

If your daughter has been trained in the finer art of tackling barbarians, she would have kicked that boy's arse, and save other children from emotional harm. Or at the very least, be toughened, so that his mean words would not have harmed her.

I've seen for myself how \"office wimps\" run off to cry in the toilet after being reprimanded by the manager or teased by colleagues. OMG, it's only a reprimand, for goodness sakes.

I can imagine many years ago, in kindergarten/school, they would have been the kids who would cry and allow the class bully to have his way.

[skunk]

Blobbi:

Em, Fighting doesn't help you learn about anger and conflict management. Fighting gives you the opportunity to learn about it, but it's not an automatic next step.

In fact, children learn about anger and conflict management by watching their parents model it. We do need to step in when they're young to remind them not to use their fists, because violence and strength is not the answer (It was back in the stone age days, but times are different mah). The difficulty is in resolving conflict, and so long as they're not duking it out or there is an obvious case of bullying, I leave them alone. After the event and after they've cooled down, I just ask if they'd like to play again. If they do, then what do they think should be done? They'll figure it out after awhile.

U r quite right, but my point is, most parents simply prevent their kids from having an opportunity to learn in the first place, by sheltering them in a \"Barbie Doll world\".

I disagree with the 2nd part, there's such a thing as \"Righteous Violence\". Violence is not the ultimate answer, but sometimes, it's a necessary one

[ooptimizer]

ks2me:

My child went for a class today and first thing she stepped in, a boy said \"Kill her!\", only because she was new?? :roll: :roll:

Where is the teacher? The teacher should teach and correct the boy's behaviour.

[skunk]

ooptimizer:

Where is the teacher? The teacher should teach and correct the boy's behaviour.

Yes, the teacher should correct the boy's behaviour, but alot of times, it doesn't work.

I know of a 13 year old boy who always gets bullied in school by the class bully. I asked him, did he report to the teacher? He said, \"yes, i reported to the teacher, the teacher already punished him, put him in detention and even caned him....but every time i reported, after punishement, he would bully me even more, even harder....so i don't want to report him already, only make my life worse after reporting\"

So i told him, \"Just whack the bully hard, give him a black eye, then drag him to the teacher and ask the teacher to punish both of u. Tell him every single time he bullies you, he will get a black eye. I can guarantee after one hard whacking, he won't dare to bully u anymore. Your problem is solved once and for all.\"

Guess what the poor boy said?

\" What if I lose the fight, how?\" :stupid:

It's the same as in real life. Bullies get away scot-free unless we stand up for ourselves and use Righteous Violence appropriately. It need not be physical violence, but also includes verbal threats, whatever it takes to put bullies in their place.

My ex-policeman best friend recounted to me a story, of how a small-time hooligan, ate at a hawker stall, and refused to pay and walk away. There's nothing the police can do, except advise the hawker to launch a civil suit. A lawsuit over $3 of noodles?!? They could do nothing but let the bully go scot free. These people need a good dose of Righteous Whacking.

[Blobbi]

skunk:

Blobbi:

Em, Fighting doesn't help you learn about anger and conflict management. Fighting gives you the opportunity to learn about it, but it's not an automatic next step.

In fact, children learn about anger and conflict management by watching their parents model it. We do need to step in when they're young to remind them not to use their fists, because violence and strength is not the answer (It was back in the stone age days, but times are different mah). The difficulty is in resolving conflict, and so long as they're not duking it out or there is an obvious case of bullying, I leave them alone. After the event and after they've cooled down, I just ask if they'd like to play again. If they do, then what do they think should be done? They'll figure it out after awhile.

U r quite right, but my point is, most parents simply prevent their kids from having an opportunity to learn in the first place, by sheltering them in a \"Barbie Doll world\".

I disagree with the 2nd part, there's such a thing as \"Righteous Violence\". Violence is not the ultimate answer, but sometimes, it's a necessary one

Wah, you're right about the Barbie Doll World.

I don't believe in violence, which brings me to ...

[Blobbi]

skunk:

ks2me:

My child went for a class today and first thing she stepped in, a boy said \"Kill her!\", only because she was new?? :roll: :roll:

whether we like it or not, we live in a world where the civilised has to share space with the uncivilised. And for the civilised to survive, we must have certain uncivil tactics to deal with the uncivilised.

No point being a gentleman with a barbarian, and a gentleman who's unable to subdue a barbarian, will one day find civility vanquished.

Children who occasionally fight, argue and quarrel, learn the finer points of dealing with the nasty bits of human-human relationships, by being involved in the very thick of it.

All it takes for Evil to succeed, is for Good Men to do nothing about it.

If your daughter has been trained in the finer art of tackling barbarians, she would have kicked that boy's arse, and save other children from emotional harm. Or at the very least, be toughened, so that his mean words would not have harmed her.

I've seen for myself how \"office wimps\" run off to cry in the toilet after being reprimanded by the manager or teased by colleagues. OMG, it's only a reprimand, for goodness sakes.

I can imagine many years ago, in kindergarten/school, they would have been the kids who would cry and allow the class bully to have his way.

...

I've often wondered how it would be - I tell my kid not to whack back, but the other fella, sometimes instigated by the MUM, whops a hard one. Sure lose in the adult world, right?

So, I still insist on the right values, as in, don't resort to violence. I have though, *blush*, on occasion looked the other way when my kid is returning the insult. Use aggressive rhetoric (lucky this one, it's inborn in my kid) and be proactive. A dash of humour to maloo the other guy is the best. Whatever it is, act fast, nip it in the bud and don't be a wimp!! This takes years to happen.

I've seen such ridiculous bullying in the office, and the champion bullies will often be the ones who get promoted! Depends on what sort of boss you have - I didn't put up with it, either downwards or upwards. But it is tiresome and draining.

[skunk]

Blobbi:

I have though, *blush*, on occasion looked the other way when my kid is returning the insult. Use aggressive rhetoric (lucky this one, it's inborn in my kid) and be proactive. A dash of humour to maloo the other guy is the best. Whatever it is, act fast, nip it in the bud and don't be a wimp!! This takes years to happen.

Verbal assault is also considered \"righteous violence\". I do not encourage it, but i do believe it's sometimes necessary.

[Blobbi]

autumnbronze:

ks2me:

Interestingly, the school told me that they had met so obnoxious kids who told them that teachers could not scold them because THEY(the kids) were paying their salaries. For such children and parents, the door is always open outwards for them according to the school and I cheer the school for this. No big no small!!!! Now you know why we need 弟子规...*sigh*

ks2me,

You mean they start so young ....... (Referring to statement in bold)

I thought this only happens with older kids. My colleague had that thrown at her, and mind you, we were teaching in one of the top schs .... Then another one related how one girl told her \"what have you got to teach that I don't already know\" :!:

Wow. This is a new level of sick ...

All this can happen whether there is a SAHP at home or not. Sometimes, these kids carry the attitude from their parents, and sometimes, they're just young and arrogant. If the latter, I hope the parents can jump in and correct them. Life will eventually deal with them anyway, but it will be a lot harsher.