All About Autism
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mashy:
Lol.
Cashier, accountant, maths professor, Playboy magazine photographer :evil:tyeogh:
[quote=\"Couragemom\"]
Hi tyeogh,
Any idea what type of jobs a boy with obsession with numbers can do?
My son was obsessed with spinning and things that are round.
I managed to get him to love the solar system (coz the planets are round and spins), molecules (yes, they are round too!) and it simply evolved to include many sciences.
A boy obsessed with numbers - teach to calculate. Or if he just likes the look of it, to write them differently. Teach him roman numerics. There is so much potential in a boy who loves numbers. Calculate the distance between train stations, teach him statistics. He is going to be such a Maths boy and Singapore loves Maths children.[/quote]My boy too! Love numbers and solar system. I just let him do IQ math. He quite enjoy! -
tyeogh:
Just a different view, or another view.
DoubleE,
Ya, I like you too. LoL. Our sons talk alike. Mine talks a bit too much though. Some times he fails to differentiate between talking to kids vs adults and gets rude to my helper or his mom. \"Why must I listen?! Huh huh huh! You go away! I don't like you!\" he shouts at my helper, hands on his hips with an angry look. My cane flies out immediately. Have to correct slowly. As in painfully slow. No meltdowns. Just that he's not exactly a quick learner like his siblings.
Well, at least you bother to throw him to a swim coach. I gave up after a while. I didn't know every school has Allied Educators. I'd get NUH to release info to the school. Thanks for info.
You are probably more kiasu on the education part....like my wife. I am coming to terms with what he is. He is more a visual person. Loves to draw. I told (nag at) my wife, Lets be practical. He is not going to be a doctor, lawyer or engineer. Think along the lines of cartoonist, Playboy magazine photographer, graphic designer, interior designer, architect, in that order of progression. Wait. I think Playboy magazine photographer should be at the top of the hierachy after architect. LoL. Your boy could have the same visual abilities like mine.
All kids are different, esp. the defiant ones, who tends to end up being rebellious if use the hard/tough approach, esp. in the long term.
Usually, the soft and reasoning approach will help to manage their behaviour, and reduce their defiance in the teenage years.
It is all the more tougher for special needs children, who has even more challenges, and although they may be compliant when they are young, smaller size, and not able to \"fight back\", or even forced to behave or \"give in\" due to fear of the punishment, when they have to with the hard/tough approach.
In the long term, the inner pent up resentment, defiant behaviour and negative thoughts etc may give rise to the rebellious behaviour and problems esp. in the teenage years, and even adult life. It may lead to a much tougher, negative and defiance person.
Lots of patience and the soft, reasoning but firm approach may be a better choice in the long term for the development of the child. -
Hi
If child did not passed the assessment to get into Pathlight how to survive mainstream Pri Sch which require the child to be independent, bigger class size 30 students. -
During Interview at Pathlight : they may pose parents this question, "what other schools have you considered, to send your child to, apart from Pathlight ?"
In the event child not suitable for Pathlight after assessment, then have to choose other school.
When go Mainstream schools, Subject Teacher teach whole class, to 30 students. There is no 1 to 1 personal attention.
Although primary schools have Allied Educator, but this Officer may not sit inside the classroom whole day long, all the time. Sometimes, AE have to get out of classroom, prepare certain things.
If a child need 1 to 1 attention, constantly : school may ask parents to hire shadow Tr to sit inside the class during P1, P2 only. (30 pupils, per class)
But come P3, when students re-shuffle to become more than 40 pupils per class, they don’t allow Shadow Tr to sit inside the classroom anymore, because class too big.
By P3 : child has to be independent, sit inside the classroom, study by himself / herself.
From P1 Term 2 onwards : there are Tests, for 3 subjects.
Each Test is upon 30 marks.
During P1 & P2 : if a child scored poorly, eg : some pupils scored 2 or 3 marks upon 30, for English / Maths / Mother tongue tests in P1, P2 Regular Term tests, these are rare case, Subject Tr will ask to see parents, find out what happen, question parents if Mainstream is suitable for child -
phtthp:
This is not the same for all schools. For my son, they had regular show and tell instead of written tests. Actually p1 nothing much. Not many tests. If have also it's upon 10-20. P2 then started having more mini tests and the final year tests for class allocation in p3. We aren't told of any tests until the papers come back. It's called quizzes for the kids.During Interview at Pathlight : they will pose parents this question, \"what other schools have you considered, to send your child to, apart from Pathlight ?\"
In the event child not suitable for Pathlight after assessment, then have to choose other school.
When go Mainstream schools, Subject Teacher teach whole class, to 30 students. There is no 1 to 1 personal attention.
Although primary schools have Allied Educator, but this Officer may not sit inside the classroom whole day, all the time.
If a child need 1 to 1 attention, constantly : school may ask parents to hire shadow Tr to sit inside the class during P1, P2 only. (30 pupils, per class)
But come P3, when students re-shuffle to become more than 40 pupils per class, they don't allow Shadow Tr to sit inside the classroom anymore, because class too big.
By P3 : child has to be independent, sit inside the classroom, study by himself / herself.
From P1 Term 2 onwards : there are Tests, for 3 subjects.
Each Test is upon 30 marks.
During P1 & P2 : if a child scored poorly, eg : some pupils scored 2 or 3 marks upon 30, for English / Maths / Mother tongue tests in P1, P2 Regular Term tests, these are rare case, Subject Tr will ask to see parents, find out what happen, question parents if Mainstream is suitable for child
There are normal kids who scored single digit marks. They are taken out of class during regular school hours for LSP, learning support program. In fact my asd kid scored better than them.
Teachers will not ask parents to take the kids out of mainstream so easily. Some parents with children who keep failing and who displayed extremely bad behaviour also continued to stay in mainstream. -
Hi Mashy,
You son progressed so well in main stream，any suggestions for us who will go to P1 next year ? Thanks in advance! -
scang:
Appreciate the different view. Wrong person to tell to though. LoL. For something as important as parenting, I do not go by logic or opinions. I go by the word of God. The Creator's instruction manual.
Just a different view, or another view.
All kids are different, esp. the defiant ones, who tends to end up being rebellious if use the hard/tough approach, esp. in the long term.
Usually, the soft and reasoning approach will help to manage their behaviour, and reduce their defiance in the teenage years.
It is all the more tougher for special needs children, who has even more challenges, and although they may be compliant when they are young, smaller size, and not able to \"fight back\", or even forced to behave or \"give in\" due to fear of the punishment, when they have to with the hard/tough approach.
In the long term, the inner pent up resentment, defiant behaviour and negative thoughts etc may give rise to the rebellious behaviour and problems esp. in the teenage years, and even adult life. It may lead to a much tougher, negative and defiance person.
Lots of patience and the soft, reasoning but firm approach may be a better choice in the long term for the development of the child.
Proverbs 13:24
He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
It is quite explicit. A father who does not cane is viewed as one who hates his son.
I don't agree with the \"pent up resentment, defiant behavior and negative thoughts\" in the long term. That's human logic. Not in my instruction manual.
In my instruction manual, it says when a child is trained in the way he should go, he will not depart from it when he gets older.
In this case, it so happens that a culture with 5,000 years history agrees too. Here is the 3 Word Classic.
养不教,
父之过,
教不严,
师之惰。
子不学,
非所宜,
幼不学,
老何为。
玉不琢,
不成器,
人不学,
不知义。
Basically, it means it is the father's responsibility to be strict in teaching a child. Else the child will not learn righteousness when he is older (Chinese version of a good upbringing).
Both bible and Chinese wisdom agree a disciplined child will not deviate when older. Both are time tested. There must be some truth.
I have 2 elder NT daughters. Both were caned. Both are prefects now. One won a MOE Edusave Character Award, given to the top 2% in each cohort. She is the only one in her school at her level to get it. I remembered she had to be interviewed by her Principal, VP and a panel in the final round. They assessed her character and upbringing, and found it tops.
My other NT boy is also turning out to be a fine gentleman.
You may have wrongly pictured a naggy mother chasing after her child caning him unreasonably, or a parent being always angry at the child. I show my kids a lot of affection, play with them often and hug them to sleep every night. But when it comes to discipline, my cane is non-negotiable. They know it.
So nope. It's still the cane for me. Proven, tested, working. Others here may appreciate your view. Thanks for sharing. -
I think if after the doctor's assessment that our kids can go mainstream, we should just go. Even if they say no, they can't, there have been so many cases that they are wrong. Eg Jacob Barnett.
For me, I didn't treat him any differently. He is to me, my son. ASD is just a part of him.
In P1, I watched over him more closely since there are so much more adjustments to be done. After the first 2 weeks, I met up with the AED and form teacher. We discussed about his condition, how they could help, his pet peeves and everything the occupational therapist had advised on. Eg for him to sit near the teacher, tap him if he starts dreaming etc. I'm also in close contact with the teachers to address any issues.
I PVed in school for the first 2 years so that I could get to know his classmates and his classmates' parents who are PVs. Having a network of parents allows me to know what's happening in class from more vocal kids and even something as simple as what to bring for art class.
For recess, I packed for him. Coz he's so slow eating and doesn't talk much. Packing his recess food helps skip this extra hurdle he needs to overcome. When he became more confident in p2, I let him have 1 day a week to buy food from the canteen. In p3, it became 2 days and now in p4, we give him a weekly allowance and he buys food in school for recess and a lunch before CCA.
He requested to join CCA in p3 but it wasn't such a good experience, so in p4, I asked him to change his CCA. He did and he's very happy in his new CCA.
In p1, he faced a bully in class and was hurt a few times. After many consultations, the school changed the bully's class in p2. His other classmates were very protective of him, so I'm very thankful for that. During birthdays and sports day etc, remember to 'bribe' them. Hehehe.
Acad wise, we had few probs with maths and science. It's mainly compo and compre. He handed in only 3 sentences for his first compo exam.
it's coz he couldn't decide how to name his characters. So we had to work on that. Compre wise also practice and practice. Glad that he is now able to finish writing a whole compo and can pass his comprehension. His ST also helped him for his compo and compre.
I think it's so important to have good teachers. I'm very glad and thankful that my son had met the best teachers for the last few years. It's important to build a good rapport with them. Be nice to them.
He is now exempted from Chinese and it helped raise his overall results. So if yours isn't proficient in it, just drop it. A lot less stressful that way. He still attends Chinese class but happily now.
He is still one messy boy with messy handwriting. But all in all, he has improved tremendously. Academically and socially. He has friends now!
He also has a goal now and we helped him along. He can lose focus frequently and we will then bring him back. Otherwise, he is just like any other boy. His teacher is also happy and congratulated me that he has overcome a lot. He talks a lot more and shares with me some things he learned in school.
Most importantly, he has to want that for himself. Without the inner motivation to overcome his weaknesses, there's only so much we can do. I've been frustrated frequently when he didn't seem to care. But once he is back on track and he gets the acknowledgement when he does well, he gets more motivated.
I'm sure your children can do so too, if not better. A lot of things are trial and error just like other kids. What works for one may not work for others. So just keep on trying until you get the right formula. With the love you have for your children, I'm sure they will be perform even better than what the doctors predicted. -
tyeogh:
Same. Agree with you. I cane too. I'm afraid it is unavoidable. Discipline and boundaries are important.
Appreciate the different view. Wrong person to tell to though. LoL. For something as important as parenting, I do not go by logic or opinions. I go by the word of God. The Creator's instruction manual.scang:
Just a different view, or another view.
All kids are different, esp. the defiant ones, who tends to end up being rebellious if use the hard/tough approach, esp. in the long term.
Usually, the soft and reasoning approach will help to manage their behaviour, and reduce their defiance in the teenage years.
It is all the more tougher for special needs children, who has even more challenges, and although they may be compliant when they are young, smaller size, and not able to \"fight back\", or even forced to behave or \"give in\" due to fear of the punishment, when they have to with the hard/tough approach.
In the long term, the inner pent up resentment, defiant behaviour and negative thoughts etc may give rise to the rebellious behaviour and problems esp. in the teenage years, and even adult life. It may lead to a much tougher, negative and defiance person.
Lots of patience and the soft, reasoning but firm approach may be a better choice in the long term for the development of the child.
Proverbs 13:24
He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
It is quite explicit. A father who does not cane is viewed as one who hates his son.
I don't agree with the \"pent up resentment, defiant behavior and negative thoughts\" in the long term. That's human logic. Not in my instruction manual.
In my instruction manual, it says when a child is trained in the way he should go, he will not depart from it when he gets older.
In this case, it so happens that a culture with 5,000 years history agrees too. Here is the 3 Word Classic.
养不教,
父之过,
教不严,
师之惰。
子不学,
非所宜,
幼不学,
老何为。
玉不琢,
不成器,
人不学,
不知义。
Basically, it means it is the father's responsibility to be strict in teaching a child. Else the child will not learn righteousness when he is older (Chinese version of a good upbringing).
Both bible and Chinese wisdom agree a disciplined child will not deviate when older. Both are time tested. There must be some truth.
I have 2 elder NT daughters. Both were caned. Both are prefects now. One won a MOE Edusave Character Award, given to the top 2% in each cohort. She is the only one in her school at her level to get it. I remembered she had to be interviewed by her Principal, VP and a panel in the final round. They assessed her character and upbringing, and found it tops.
My other NT boy is also turning out to be a fine gentleman.
You may have wrongly pictured a naggy mother chasing after her child caning him unreasonably, or a parent being always angry at the child. I show my kids a lot of affection, play with them often and hug them to sleep every night. But when it comes to discipline, my cane is non-negotiable. They know it.
So nope. It's still the cane for me. Proven, tested, working. Others here may appreciate your view. Thanks for sharing. -
mashy:
:goodpost: Excellent sharing and approach to parenting a ASD child!!I think if after the doctor's assessment that our kids can go mainstream, we should just go. Even if they say no, they can't, there have been so many cases that they are wrong. Eg Jacob Barnett.
For me, I didn't treat him any differently. He is to me, my son. ASD is just a part of him.
In P1, I watched over him more closely since there are so much more adjustments to be done. After the first 2 weeks, I met up with the AED and form teacher. We discussed about his condition, how they could help, his pet peeves and everything the occupational therapist had advised on. Eg for him to sit near the teacher, tap him if he starts dreaming etc. I'm also in close contact with the teachers to address any issues.
I PVed in school for the first 2 years so that I could get to know his classmates and his classmates' parents who are PVs. Having a network of parents allows me to know what's happening in class from more vocal kids and even something as simple as what to bring for art class.
For recess, I packed for him. Coz he's so slow eating and doesn't talk much. Packing his recess food helps skip this extra hurdle he needs to overcome. When he became more confident in p2, I let him have 1 day a week to buy food from the canteen. In p3, it became 2 days and now in p4, we give him a weekly allowance and he buys food in school for recess and a lunch before CCA.
He requested to join CCA in p3 but it wasn't such a good experience, so in p4, I asked him to change his CCA. He did and he's very happy in his new CCA.
In p1, he faced a bully in class and was hurt a few times. After many consultations, the school changed the bully's class in p2. His other classmates were very protective of him, so I'm very thankful for that. During birthdays and sports day etc, remember to 'bribe' them. Hehehe.
Acad wise, we had few probs with maths and science. It's mainly compo and compre. He handed in only 3 sentences for his first compo exam. it's coz he couldn't decide how to name his characters. So we had to work on that. Compre wise also practice and practice. Glad that he is now able to finish writing a whole compo and can pass his comprehension. His ST also helped him for his compo and compre.
I think it's so important to have good teachers. I'm very glad and thankful that my son had met the best teachers for the last few years. It's important to build a good rapport with them. Be nice to them.
He is now exempted from Chinese and it helped raise his overall results. So if yours isn't proficient in it, just drop it. A lot less stressful that way. He still attends Chinese class but happily now.
He is still one messy boy with messy handwriting. But all in all, he has improved tremendously. Academically and socially. He has friends now! He also has a goal now and we helped him along. He can lose focus frequently and we will then bring him back. Otherwise, he is just like any other boy. His teacher is also happy and congratulated me that he has overcome a lot. He talks a lot more and shares with me some things he learned in school.
Most importantly, he has to want that for himself. Without the inner motivation to overcome his weaknesses, there's only so much we can do. I've been frustrated frequently when he didn't seem to care. But once he is back on track and he gets the acknowledgement when he does well, he gets more motivated.
I'm sure your children can do so too, if not better. A lot of things are trial and error just like other kids. What works for one may not work for others. So just keep on trying until you get the right formula. With the love you have for your children, I'm sure they will be perform even better than what the doctors predicted.
This is a fantastic example of what one can look forward to in mainstream. A role model parent. :udawoman:
Feel like kicking that bully though....
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