Musings:
That is where parents have the discretion and control. Of course it takes a while to ascertain the ability of the child but I believe parents in this forum who are obviously very involved in their children's education will be able to tell. Whether or not parents can accept the reality is a different matter. For instance, my older child is amongst the top 3 of the whole cohort, we knew his abilities and at P2, pushed him and he was streamed to best class and remained there ever since. My younger child is now in P2 and facing the same streaming but we did not push him to aim for top 2 classes. In fact, almost every parent in his P2 class whatsapp chatgroup are clearly prepping their child to aim for top 2 class. But statistically, only a handful from a class of 30 will make it to the top class. My sense is a lot of these parents were really prepping the kids beyond their ability and therefore causing much stress to a mere 8 year old. For us, it was very liberating once we recognise and accepted his ability and just prep for each test as per normal without fretting about the outcome.
I am not discounting the pressure and temptation faced by parents in aiming for the highest glory. But the cost is tremendous if that expectation is beyond the ability of the kid. And all these are within our control. I don't begrudge other high ability kids - their achievements should be celebrated.
I agree that you are doing the right thing for your children and that every parent should exercise such control. However, thanks to the 'direction' the government has led us and hence the mentality of our present society - obsession with grades and competitions.
MOE won't need to stop its schools' ranking, stop naming top scholar, scrap off value-added awards for schools, introduce more non-academic edusave awards, stop media reporting of top schools and foreign talents' academic achievements, etc, to try to salvage the damage and stress if it has not recognised its faults.
I raised the issue on government earlier because someone mentioned that it is not to be held responsible but I see our government's past directives as the stimuli for the tremendous stress level of today's rat race.
You applaud the government's emphasis on meritocracy as you have at least a child who falls in the category of top students. Many parents who have children of differing calibres are doing the same as you, in nurturing them according to their abilities as they have at least one who is capable. I am one of them.
However, are you able to empathise with the stress of parents who only have children the abilities of your younger child's or well below? Would you not try harder to prep them so that at least one may excel (to a better school, not top school), not for your own glory but for their future? It is even more stressful for parent with an only child.
I apologise if this is offensive but are you sure you will not fret over your younger child's results when he is in P5/P6 when reality is setting in? Do you not have any pressure or fear that he will end up in a neighbourhood school while his older sibling is in the top school? Would you not try to prep him such that he will stand a better chance for a more 'decent' sec sch?
Stress doesn't only exist in kids who have parents pushing for top schools. It happens to kids whose parents quest for express stream instead of NA stream, for above average sec schools instead of neighbourhoods' and so on. We all know the rankings of each school to a great extent, don't we?
As parents, we try to exercise self-control but it's hard as we have to conform to the society that our government has moulded - pursuing academic excellence at young age, fighting for the best university courses, fighting with imported talents, number one in world ranking....
It's easy to say we have control but exactly how many of us can really ignore the challenges of our education system? Unless you are a parent with the 与世无争 mentality of a monk/nun/pastor, perhaps.