I thought about adoption (yes I REALLY want a girl) but I think it wouldn’t be the same as I have already gone through the experience of giving birth to my own flesh and blood and I am not so sure I can give the same unconditional love I give to my two kids.

ImMeeMee:

Double E, my DH too has been asking that we have a no. 4 so that the children could eventually spread out the responsibility of looking out for my ASD doter.

I had always thought I'd have 2 kids, a boy and a girl, and when the gynea showed me on the ultrasound scan for DS2 (btw, he very \"drama\", circled the part and wrote BOY before giving me the scan!) I thought, ok no problem, let have 4 kids - 2 boys and 2 girls. In fact I really have been longing for a girl and everyone has been asking me to try for one but I have politely declined as the thought of having a second ASD kid terrifies me. I did harbour hopes of recovery for years but...

So my thought process is kinda opposite as I don't want another kid as I don't want to burden my DS1 in the event I have another special needs kid. Perhaps if DS2 gets more independent and I can see he will be able to cope in the real world I may try again, but I think by then I'll be too old and other medical concerns related to older mothers will kick in. Sigh, if only we all had a crystal ball!

Hi everyone, am new here (only came across this thread this year as all years my \"research\" has been focussed on forums and websites based outside Singapore). My DS2 turns 7 this year and just entered P1 Foundation in PL.


Ok now that I've introduced myself, wanted to share my own experience regarding the earlier post from Gifts from Heaven:

Gifts from Heaven:

Same as most here, I also hv different expectations for my older NT gal and younger SN boy.
Ditto to Tamama, when challenged by my NT gal, I will tell her that 'cos she is older, so she cannot do/behave the same as her bro. Else other people who see her will be 'confused'. I've not told her that her bro is SN case, so sometimes need special accomodations. Dunno how to approach this subject. She is 9 this year. Does your NT kids know the condition of their SN siblings? How to tell them in a manner that they will understand and not be scared/despised/ashamed of their SN siblings?

Jme,
Relax! your NT gal is just P1. The journey is v long. P1 is supposed to be honeymoon year :).

My DS1, who is NT, is 2 years older, so 9 this year and it was only early last year that I told DS1 about DS2's condition. It's not that DS1 didn't know that something wasn't quite right with DS2 (in fact he is quite the ABA expert now and when he was younger the ABA therapists even roped him in for sessions) but I never told him the correct term. We would just say DS2 is \"different\" and he never really questioned why. Once I asked if his school friends asked him about his sibling (I had brought them both to attend parties) that I found out that he had told one of his close friends that his brother was \"mentally retarded\" or had \"mental problems\". We were pretty upset but realised that it was our fault for not explaining DS2's condition. We then sat him down and explained in detail and gave him the proper terminology, so now he knows that the correct term is \"autism\" and we have even told him that based on the IQ assessment DS2 was actually pretty smart (well I choose to focus only on the part of the assessment that he aced). After he had a better understanding of what ASD was and was now armed and equipped with appropriate responses for any questions which his classmates had, we found he was not so \"ashamed\" to disclose his brother's existence. So I think that it would be good to have a heart-to-heart talk to your elder child as they are actually old enough to understand and comprehend.

Also another note of caution - do not do what we did: from the moment we realised that DS2 was \"different\" we kept drumming into DS1 that he had to always love the brother and to look after the brother when we are no longer able to and we kept making sure that DS2 was involved in all activities. Eventually it got too much for DS1 and there was too much pent up in him and it exploded one day, I won't go into details but it involved seeing a couple of psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers (and spending loads of money along the way :moneyflies: ). Bottom line, don't put too much pressure on the NT siblings, they have enough to deal with already.

Hi ImMeeMee - Thanks for the warm welcome!


Hi ArielMermaid - Thanks for the info, good to know since I am so lost about what is happening.

Hi belachanbabe - Agree; but I don't want his brains to get \"mushy\". I engage a special ed tutor to teach him once a week and she took a while to get him to do addition sums, unfortunately once he mastered it and moved on to something else, in a few months time when we re-tested him, he had forgotten it all! Sigh.

Am however very happy he got into PL, so I know should not stress out too much. I still remember calling in end July and asking why I hadnt received a letter (assuming that since I didn't get anything he must have been rejected). The administrator then said letters and been sent the day before and checked my son's name - imagine my surprise when they said he got in. I was in a daze and even said \"are you sure?\". I was crying tears of joy (entire office was staring at me with my red eyes)! But I also asked - err if don't do well will you kick him out? Was happy to hear that they \"don't do such things\".

Look forward to sharing and exchanging notes with everyone on this page

Hi everyone, I’ve just jointed this forum after discovering it online. My son just started P1 Foundation and it would be nice to exchange notes with others. I am not sure what to expect for Foundation level since its a "go between"; based on the note given by the teacher today regarding the Maths outline for Term 1, it appears to be pitched very low (maybe K1 level?). Am wondering how much to "drill" him in subjects since I don’t want actual P1 to be a shock to him (although based on elder boy’s syllabus in mainstream school in P1, it is very easy but exams are a whole different ballgame).


Appreciate those who have gone through the former PP track to shed some light since I am guessing PP track should be similar to the new Foundation level?
TIA