Hihi. Just my two cents worth (and not directed at anyone).
Dd was from neighbourhood primary school. In her primary school, there was no clear differentiation of top few classes except for MT/HMT whereby students doing HMT will move to another classroom during MT lessons. After PSLE, a handful of her class went to IP, the rest to Express and N(A).
I observed that after sec school started, her pri school classmates started to alienate her. No, not because she went to N(A) but because she went to IP. To them, IP was further divided into IP(IS) and IP (gov aided). DD is in IP(IS) aka the "elite" group. Barely a month after sec sch started, she went back to pri school with her former classmates and came home telling me next time when going out with them she will change out of her school uniform. CNY eve gathering was worst. She came home, hid in her room and cried. Just last week, she told me her P6 class formed another WhatsApp group and she was not included.
Fencing, mingle, integration, segregation. I guess it goes both ways. When Dd started sec school, we were worried whether she could fit in. A few days afterward, she told us she must be more aware of her English when talking to her new classmates cos’ their Eng "veli powderful one". Now that term 1 is coming to an end, we are glad that she has blended in nicely.
While I am happy that she has settled into her sec school, the image of her asking me after the CNY gathering "What did I do wrong?" upsets me. Perhaps after so many years and efforts of making the "elite" understands the need to integrate, they have crack opened their fence, only to find that the "commoners" have built a wall. The English dictionary is at fault. Maybe if words like "elite" and "commoners" do not exist, there will be no fence and wall.