Saw this in a forum and I think it is a potential issue for us. Interestingly, the LGBT supporter's way of resolving the issue was to recommend the kid to a help group for the LGBT. The help group's objective was to tell the young kid that being gay is normal and natural?!

[quote]Z Nur Shahidah

Ever since my elder sister passed away I've been taking care of her son JJ. I took him in since he was 8 years old and I love him dearly like my own. Now he is a teenager. Being a mother of two young children is easier than a mother of an adolescent. The challenges are different, and this somewhat prepared me of what's coming for my two daughters later.

I was checking the house computer and saw several pictures of naked men. My two younger girls are too young to use computer. I confronted my JJ and he strongly denied it. After much probe, he finally relented and claimed those obscene pictures belong to him. We asked if he has any issues on sexual orientation and wish to talk about it. JJ said that he was going to tell me and hub that he thinks he's gay, but apparently the day came too soon. We asked many questions to peek into his new found interest and understand when and where it had developed. Over the past year, he became quiet and shut himself in the room often. Throughout the conversation, JJ kept saying that we 'straight people' will never understand that he's born that way. He kept insisting that he was born gay. I felt like a failure because I don't know where I had gone wrong or what did I do wrong. I have let my sister down. Should I let JJ continue being gay or should I get someone to talk to him like a counsellor?

The most disturbing part is that he claimed it is normal to be gay. Even his teacher is gay. We went to a school website and asked him to show us who is the gay teacher. Apparently the teacher is a HOD. He refused to detail how he got wind of this info. Me and hub got worried. HOD means possibly the teacher can be a principal in future.

My question is: Does MOE conduct background checks on their key appointment personnel before they take on these important roles? So MOE takes a tolerant stand on LGBT issues?

https://www.facebook.com/groups/542917079078427/[/quote][quote]Mathia Lee (https://www.facebook.com/mathialee)

Hi. There is a small community group in Singapore that helps parents of gay children. Although you are his aunt, I believe they will also consider you as a \"parent\" to him

You can contact them at [email protected]

They have an FAQ for parents here:
http://safesingapore.blogspot.sg/200...r-parents.html

It might be good for you to talk to the school counsellor together with your nephew to seek counselling as a whole family. If he is already keeping quiet and shutting himself away, he might be feeling very depressed and upset. Not wanting to scare you, but many gay youth have attempted suicide or suffered from depression because of these issues. I encourage you to see help from the counsellors before that happens to him. At this moment, the best thing you can do for him, is not to scold him or condemn him further, but to seek more information so you can act in his best interest and not fail him or your sis

I wish you and your family the best.
11 September at 12:45 · Edited · Like [/quote]

Hi all,


I heard that the said staff is now involved in a relationship with another parent of the school student. If this goes on, I wonder how many marriages would be destroyed by her. Or this is the marketing strategy by the school to retain students?

Anyway, I’m glad my kids are no longer with the school.

Just wondering if this is true. I heard from a neighbour that there was an intruder in the school yesterday morning, 13 Jul. A male dark skin foreign worker was found in one of the girls toilet in the morning. The matter had been reported to the school management. One of the boy student who saw the man even tried to give chase but lost him.


I would suggest those parents with children in the school warn their kids to be wary of outsiders. Especially the girls, they should go toilet only in pairs. The school should also educate the student on what to do in such situation, what the boy student did was dangerous if he had managed to corner the male worker, especially if he turned violent.

Thanks for your views.


I just found out that the staff would be transferred out from the Ang Mo Kio Branch to their new Hougang outlet. Maybe the school had found out of the affair.

Amberz:

Haha, I loved reading some of your opinions! Well, here's my 2 cents worth. I feel that for the most part, what a teacher does outside of sch is her private business and so long as she doesn't impose it on her students, it's fine. I mean a teacher could be a lesbian and always be seen with another woman but unless she tells the girls in her class to hate boys or something, no one would really know and it wouldn't be an issue would it?

Of course appearing in public with him could either mean they are both separated from their spouses and dating or they are either stupid enough to be openly affectionate or they blatently don't care. If I were you I'd have let my kid run up to greet the teacher and watch for their reaction when they see you. :!:

Also, be prepared that the repercussions of telling on them may not be in your favour or that of your child so unless you are ready to start hunting for another school, I'll advise you to think carefully before you rock the boat. Even if your child has another teacher, you may be perceived as a nosy parent and should the uglier side of human nature emerge in these teachers, your kid suffers the consequence of it. Of course there is always the possibility that the teacher gets laid off for her actions and you earn the respect of all as a parent with high moral standards. Are you prepared for either outcome?

Some of you suggested that I should leave them alone just because it does not concern us? Some even suggested to tell this to our kids? But is this the sort of mindset or upbringing that you want to teach your kids?


Should we teach them that we should only do things if it would affect us directly? Or use this to teach them about moral and repercussion of one’s action?

I hope if I report this, I could save their respective marriage before their respective spouse find out about the affair. Whenever a marriage is broken, it is the kids would who suffer the most.

First, I will have to find a new school for my kids.

Agree that I cannot be sure that there will not be similar incident but at least in this childcare. It had happened.


My kids were with me when they saw the couple and they keep on asking why is the staff with their friend's father? I was dumbfolded.

You're right that it is a personal issue between the 2 adults but maybe other wives should also be wary of such people.

Would anyone of you enrol your kids in the said childcare if you know there is a staff like this?

Funz:

Aside from your suspicion that the teacher and the parent are having an affair, any other issues with the school?

And if you were to put your kids in another school how would you know that there will not be similar incidents.

Is the school made up of only that 1 teacher? I don't see how 1 teacher's action can dictate whether the school can impart good morals. In any case, teaching moral is more a parent's responsibility then that of the school.

And if you want to report then be prepared to withdraw your kids from the school whatever the outcome. Even if the school dismisses the teacher, there will be those that support and those that do not support the decision. Those who are in the teacher's camp will see you as a trouble maker.

Personally, I feel, picture or no picture, evidence or no evidence, this is a personal issue between the 2 parties involved. So long as they do not flaunt their relationship in front of the kids and in school, it is not my position to interfere.

Ultimately, if it bothers you that much, then yah, withdraw your kids from the school.

peterch:

TheresaChin:

........................ I doubt the school can teach good moral with staff like this...

In my opinion, moral of our kids won't be affected if we as parents could do a good 'job' at home teaching our kids about moral. As we know and have discussed in KSP forum, we could see a lot of hugging and kissing in public area or transport while they are still in school uniform.

I wouldn't take my chances. Parents can do a good job but dun forget that children are in school for at least 10hrs everyday.

I'll keep my husband out from the school too.

:x

joconde:

if i were u, i'd pull my kid out of the sch if i doubt the staff's credibility. But i won't disclose or take pic, etc, i think that's an invasion of privacy.

The last time I asked, the staff is still married.

verykiasu2010:

TheresaChin:

Yes. I took a picture while they were walking and holding hands but a bit blur...I was afraid that I would be caught by them.

I had seen the kids and the husband of the staff as he used sent her to work every morning. It is definitely not him.

may be now divorced already ? and both are divorcees ?