Hi


Did everyone continue term 2 lessons with Berries? Even though the 10% rebates is v little…

Yes the 10% rebate is reli too little. If we dun accept, den hav to enrol again. Reli unfair to us.


Is there a petition? Can we use it to voice out our unhappiness?

Hi,


Any updates on this? I tried to access the petition but its inaccessible already…

ammonite:

worried_mummy02:

Not tat a baby girl is not gd but cos i heard from other mummies tat girls r higher maintenance..need to doll up n tidy wif nice clothes n tie hair nice nice..go out toilet oso more troublesome den boys, especially the toilet bowls cover always not clean outside..

I understand if you don't feel ready for another child, or are feeling gender disappointment. I beg your pardon but this toilet question seems really strange coming from a woman. It seems more like the kind of question that daddy asks. :? The physical care of a baby girl should be less of a learning curve than that for a baby boy...?

Cos i heard from my fren who has a girl n find a hassle when bringing her go toilet compared to bringing her boy..can share y is the physical care of a girl easier than a boy?

MrsKiasu:

Going toilet is easy for mommy bringing girls. I tell my girls we drink and go toilet at the same time when we go out. I wipe the seat once and we all share. One flush after that. No wasting of water. How old is your ds? Do you bring him to female toilet or he goes with daddy? I m their hairstylist. They actually have quite many nice clothes but wearing bigger more worn out tees to them most comfy. dds quite like me, we wouldn't that much bothered on how people look at us, lack of certain mannerism to certain people. We just be ourselves do what we feel comfortable. I was under stressful period while preggy with both. But were quite ok babies, whatever they are now, from what I see were resulted from how I behave, what they see, hear and taught by us adults.

My hb n i take turns to bring my son to toilet..so i feel tat its easier for the toilet part for boys..cos i heard tat pregnant mummies who r v stressed n the baby may b collicky after birth?

slmkhoo:

worried_mummy02:

Not tat a baby girl is not gd but cos i heard from other mummies tat girls r higher maintenance..need to doll up n tidy wif nice clothes n tie hair nice nice..go out toilet oso more troublesome den boys, especially the toilet bowls cover always not clean outside..

You don't have to doll them up if you don't want to. My girls wore hand-me-down boys baby clothes as I had friends with sons! They mostly wore tees and shorts. They only had a few dresses which were gifts which they wore once a week (to church). I cut their hair until they were teenagers - simple fringe and one-length hair all around. They never had any \"nice nice\" hair stuff. Toilets - yes, it's easier for boys, but you are a female too, so you should be perfectly used to female toilets etc. Just wipe the seats! There is really no need to set such high expectations for yourself.

But if i dun doll my girl up, i feel tat she is not so cute or sweet n even wont love her..n the washing of personal wear which mean extra stuff to wear..i know i sound like such a lazy mum, mayb tis is a test given by god to change me?

Ya cos all along i reli set v high expectations which make me so hard to accept all these changes now..

slmkhoo:

worried_mummy02:

How did u n ur gal hav such a close bonding? I cannot even bring myself to tink of wanting to b close wif her in future, feel v terrible now..Taking care of a gal not easy rite? More different clothes n things to buy? More stuff to wash n go toilet part oso need to care abt hygience more?

You cannot bond with a baby you can't see, can't touch, can't talk to. You will be fine once you see her face. DId you feel so close to your son while he was still in your womb? Are you feeling that you will \"betray\" your son by loving another baby? Please don't. Mothers have enough love for many children; I have friends with 7! And love is not just a feeling, it's a commitment and actions. Act out your love and the feelings will come.

I dun feel so close wif my son when he is in my womb but i know i ll love him..but now i m so disappointed abt the gender tat i reli feel i wont love her..i feel tat i m such a terrible mum..yes i feel bad tat my son has to share the love which make me even dun feel lik loving my gal..i cannot imagine sharing the bed wif her n cannot feel the happiness when she wake up beside me..

janet88:

worried_mummy02:

Hi janet88, i will b seeing the gynae in 2 weeks time..mayb i shd tell her abt my feelings but i guess she ll refer me to a specialist for depression..tat will b costly too n i m afraid of taking medication..u r v brave n a strong mummy..sometimes i did hav the thoughts of giving up tis pregnancy but my dh is against the idea..he wan me to try bonding wif my gal after she is born..but i find it so hard to open up my heart..

firstly an unexpected pregnancy takes time to accept.
mine are about 5 years apart (jan and nov). son wanted a sister,so that she won't take his toys (being a king for too long).
on the whole he accepted her well & wasn't jealous with her arrival.
we involved him in many aspects like choosing clothes for her and constantly assured him he is very important.

your gynae may refer you to a psychologist who can advise you. a psychologist is not a doctor, so she won't be able to prescribe medication. besides, you are pregnant...so you can't take any anti-depressants.
a little life is formed and you will be expecting a girl. look at all the pretty girls' clothes. think of all the secrets you will be sharing with her. my daughter and i go shopping together often. she gives me opinions on clothes and updates me what happens in school. we will giggle and laugh over some secrets and when hubby wants to know, her reply to him is, 'girls' stuff'.

I told my son n he is oso fine wif a meimei as long as someone who can play wif him..its juz me cannot get over it..i went to look at baby girls clothes but still cannot b happi n look forward to her being born..i keep on having the bad idea of ending the pregnancy, i know its v bad of me..i cry everyday n feel so down..

How did u n ur gal hav such a close bonding? I cannot even bring myself to tink of wanting to b close wif her in future, feel v terrible now..Taking care of a gal not easy rite? More different clothes n things to buy? More stuff to wash n go toilet part oso need to care abt hygience more?

Estéema:

Agree, worried_mummy02. I've gone through one serious depression & one other post-natal downtime but I recognized it immediately. It's just my hormones the 2nd time so I don't let it bother me. Do come by & chat.


I've not been able to offer my time earlier, tho after reading, I tried typing my comfort to you but coz I was in hospital with my FIL, I accidentally lost/delete the msg to you. When I gather my thots again, I hope to share with you.

You hv a son u love. Your DH is supportive. I believe u can make it & please stay positive & happy. Your son wants you to be happy & he'll hope to see his 妹妹 and help you love & care for her.

Chat with you again, later OK? There're many caring mums & girlfriends here. S'times we get kind daddy's chipping in for those tech, hard nut issues. Lots to share together.

How u overcome ur depression n post natal downtime tat time?

Its ok, i understand tat everyone can b busy wif their daily lives..yes my hb is supportive n my son is oso looking forward to seeing his meimei..its juz me, i donno how to look forward n love her..

Now i m so worried my emotions will affect my baby girl..i reli wish to b happi so tat she can b happi n guai guai too..i tried my best to b positive everytime but the next moment i feel like breaking down again..

Funz:

Sounds like worried_mommy02 might be experiencing some prenatal blues. Do consult with your gynae, he/she may be able to help. I know of a mother who was not planning for another child and when she was found out she was pregnant, her 1st thought was to abort, however her family members were all against it. As her pregnancy progresses she became depressed and her moods swings started to affect her 1st child. She was referred to a psychiatrist. Now in her final stage of her pregnancy and she is looking forward to welcoming her new baby. Gynae did caution her about post natal blues as well.


Personally, I was not ready for my 2nd pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant with a boy I was disappointed. I wanted another girl. People kept telling me that the 1st born will always be special because I experience motherhood 1st with her. I was also worried that I might neglect DS as DD was also a rather difficult baby/todd. However, when DS was born, he stole my heart. Now both of them are in their teens. I love both of them to bits but very honestly, DS is the one who eases my stress. Not that I unload on him but just his presence and talking to him or listening to him at the end of the day simply melts away all the stress of that day.

Oh no, i hv the thoughts of ur fren too..but my dh n parents oso against the idea of abortion..but i feel so miserable everyday, reli donno wat to do..u know the charges of the psychiatrist ur fren went to? How did she buck up eventually?

Ya i love my son alot cos i experienced motherhood wif him n took care of him all along..he was a difficult toddler too..n now when he talk to me cos he is more grown up liao, he melts my heart too..i reli donno how i can love another child, a girl who i nv expect i can love..