All About Autism
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I tend to believe that everything exists in a balance.
Within the community of parents with special needs children, there are those of us who recognize our child’s special needs, do all we can to help our child and try our best not to do things at the expense of other people. We do not expect that the society goes all out to accomodate our special needs, and we do not abuse privileges extended to us. Then there are those who may still be in denial and refuse to believe or acknowledge that the child has learning disabilities, and insists that the child continues to function the same as like any other NT child, at the expense of the child and at the inconvenience of other people around.
Within the society at large, its the same. There are members who empathize with the situation that parents with special needs children face, and go the extra mile to help us out. There are no extra commercial gains, just kind acts coming from the heart. There are also members of the public who do not understand our situation, and judge us for what we may or may not be.
On a personal front, and being a parent of a special needs child, I say this:
To parents of special needs children, it can be tough and scary, and we may need to face certain fears that we have never faced before. At times our actions can be irrational out of fear and utmost sadness, but its good to bear in mind that we have equal responsiblity on our part towards our children and the society at large.
To society at large and for those who understand and help us, we truly appreciate your kindness from the bottom of our hearts. And for those who do not yet understand our situation, we appeal that you give us a chance and do not judge us too quickly. -
Nugget
I for one, like you, is not embarrassed by my son and I will not trade him for any healthy kid. And do I feel that people are looking down on me? No, why should I? In fact, I am grateful that I have this extraordinary journey and experience to share with others especially when I see other mothers who have ASD kids feeling lost. And my sense of achievement is greater than anything else when my son can perform beyond his teachers’ expectation. While I am not expecting others to understand what we go through because they never will, I do appreciate it if they do not jump the gun and make sweeping statements. That, I do not think is necessary and respectful. And just because we are parents of special needs kids, what we say about our kids are being labelled as defensive while parents of NT kids can do so without being labelled. Well, at the end of the day, this is a forum, everyone is entitled to say what they want and like you say, we just have to learn not to be affected by people who try to put us down. -
I don’t think I am being optimistic. My son is autistic and will always be autistic. I am realistic and accepted who is he.
Singapore is really not a place for special needs kids/adult to strive in. I don’t blame how other parents think like the way you think of us.
Our children are not so autistic enough to go into sped school,neither they are normal enough to go into mainstream. Other than pathlight which have limited seats, there is no places they can go.
And not all people can afford pathlight whose school fees are $500 per month… Hence that is why some kids are still remaining in mainstream because the school are not allowed to kick them out.
Maybe you like to find out more why these parents have let their kids remain in mainstream? -
helplessmum3:
If u are here to help ..thanks
I don't mind to share what I know and I want to learn more too. Let me go back dig out those infos to share here.
Just to share with you:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F4XMlhCfp3Q -
ImMeeMee:
:hugs: :hugs: and more :hugs: for you ImMeeMee.I tend to believe that everything exists in a balance.
Within the community of parents with special needs children, there are those of us who recognize our child's special needs, do all we can to help our child and try our best not to do things at the expense of other people. We do not expect that the society goes all out to accomodate our special needs, and we do not abuse privileges extended to us. Then there are those who may still be in denial and refuse to believe or acknowledge that the child has learning disabilities, and insists that the child continues to function the same as like any other NT child, at the expense of the child and at the inconvenience of other people around.
Within the society at large, its the same. There are members who empathize with the situation that parents with special needs children face, and go the extra mile to help us out. There are no extra commercial gains, just kind acts coming from the heart. There are also members of the public who do not understand our situation, and judge us for what we may or may not be.
On a personal front, and being a parent of a special needs child, I say this:
To parents of special needs children, it can be tough and scary, and we may need to face certain fears that we have never faced before. At times our actions can be irrational out of fear and utmost sadness, but its good to bear in mind that we have equal responsiblity on our part towards our children and the society at large.
To society at large and for those who understand and help us, we truly appreciate your kindness from the bottom of our hearts. And for those who do not yet understand our situation, we appeal that you give us a chance and do not judge us too quickly.
And this for the rest of the moms here - :grphug: -
http://i1131.photobucket.com/albums/m560/cylsfun/428489_10151657452280429_1385611811_n1_zpsaa13c029.jpg\">
I have a soft spot for these special needs kids. My staff were initially unwilling to accept any of such kids but I told them to open their minds and hearts. And over time, these staff told me, they feel the greatest sense of achievements whenever they see any of these kids make even the slightest progress.
Every kid is special but these kids are more so. -
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/good-news/autistic-teen-may-smarter-einstein-163701084.html
Autistic teen may be smarter than Einstein
This is delicate to mashy (strongest mum) -
sembgal:
Sembgal, having friends who are educators in mainstream is not the same as understanding what these mothers are facing on a daily basis. E.g I can read many books on Autism, but I may never really understand their situation and emotions. Pardon, but have your educator friends been painting biased pictures of these group of kids? Unless you are faced with the challenges yourself, I do not think your comments are very sensitive. My DS has classmates who are normal ( sorry, no offend to anyone but just to illustrate) have been consistently creating real problems for teachers and others. DS has also been a victim. Can we say just because they are not labelled special, the same behaviours give them more rights than special needs kids to be in the mainstream?helplessmum3:
Sembal. So u are a educator ?
I would say I have friends who are educators in mainstream as well as preschools.
It is true that not all families have the means to go for special needs education, and btw who wouldn't want it if financial is not an issue. We understand you have a voice and you want it to be heard, but perhaps this is not the right thread because you are addressing parents with real kids, real challenges. -
happyheart:
Sembgal, having friends who are educators in mainstream is not the same as understanding what these mothers are facing on a daily basis. E.g I can read many books on Autism, but I may never really understand their situation and emotions. Pardon, but have your educator friends been painting biased pictures of these group of kids? Unless you are faced with the challenges yourself, I do not think your comments are very sensitive. My DS has classmates who are normal ( sorry, no offend to anyone but just to illustrate) have been consistently creating real problems for teachers and others. DS has also been a victim. Can we say just because they are not labelled special, the same behaviours give them more rights than special needs kids to be in the mainstream?sembgal:
[quote=\"helplessmum3\"]Sembal. So u are a educator ?
I would say I have friends who are educators in mainstream as well as preschools.
It is true that not all families have the means to go for special needs education, and btw who wouldn't want it if financial is not an issue. We understand you have a voice and you want it to be heard, but perhaps this is not the right thread because you are addressing parents with real kids, real challenges.[/quote]Happy heart, thanks for helping us to speak up. You totally nailed it. -
happyheart:
Sembgal, having friends who are educators in mainstream is not the same as understanding what these mothers are facing on a daily basis. E.g I can read many books on Autism, but I may never really understand their situation and emotions. Pardon, but have your educator friends been painting biased pictures of these group of kids? Unless you are faced with the challenges yourself, I do not think your comments are very sensitive. My DS has classmates who are normal ( sorry, no offend to anyone but just to illustrate) have been consistently creating real problems for teachers and others. DS has also been a victim. Can we say just because they are not labelled special, the same behaviours give them more rights than special needs kids to be in the mainstream?sembgal:
[quote=\"helplessmum3\"]Sembal. So u are a educator ?
I would say I have friends who are educators in mainstream as well as preschools.
It is true that not all families have the means to go for special needs education, and btw who wouldn't want it if financial is not an issue. We understand you have a voice and you want it to be heard, but perhaps this is not the right thread because you are addressing parents with real kids, real challenges.[/quote]I agree that there are normal typical children who behaves beyond the control of the teachers in the classroom. However, the strategies used to manage normal typical children and children of special needs are entirely different.
As I have mentioned, I have encountered children with special needs before and the ones who improved greatly have parents who are truly receptive of the feedbacks provided. Having to deal with defensive parents is harder than dealing with children of special needs. I empathise with special needs children. But not defensive parents.
I have shared my views in the hope that parents with special needs children, eg: ASD, can be receptive to feedbacks from others whom are working closely with your children in normal stream