if i am a mil,

[vinegar]

she always tell ppl proudly that she’ll 长命百岁…

[janet88]

mine here also around that age…voice and pitch still loud, temper still hot but health wise not so.

[nightlone]

janet_lee88:

Laura02:

I remember reading this phrase that apparently popular in 1950s America


\"You son is your son till he gets a wife. You daughter is your daughter all her life\"

No matter how much unhappiness, daughter will still be daughter.
Aunt once told me, to have a daughter is to 防老...try doing that with daughter-in-law, there will be a sting for life. I will not adopt a 'I am a mother-in-law...so you listen to me' mentality. But just be cordial, in order not to put son in the middle.

not all daughters, imho. some are scared of husband so do not do whatever it is that you guys think they do or will do. i have 4 very good examples.

[nightlone]

Han Seo:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"Laura02\"]I remember reading this phrase that apparently popular in 1950s America


\"You son is your son till he gets a wife. You daughter is your daughter all her life\"

No matter how much unhappiness, daughter will still be daughter.
Aunt once told me, to have a daughter is to 防老...try doing that with daughter-in-law, there will be a sting for life. I will not adopt a 'I am a mother-in-law...so you listen to me' mentality. But just be cordial, in order not to put son in the middle.

Er...excuse me. Not all daughter-in-law take away their son from their mum hor.

I help my hubby take his mum for most of her medical appointments, now that she is old and has difficulty walking. I also help fetch her to and from the hospital after day surgeries. This is also one of the reasons why I do part-time work; to help hubby with all his mum's medical appointment. If not, I don't see how he can afford to take so many days' leave to look after his mum. 3 days' parental leave is not enough. As she gets older, his mum's medical problems also increase; from dementia, to frequent falls, cataract, dental and chronic pain. Each health issue requires one specialist appointment.

This, despite the fact that his mum has never bothered to remember my birthday nor buy anything for me when she went on holidays. She bought things for her son only.[/quote] :goodpost:
like i said before, good mil, good dil.
i hate those old ppl who think that just because they are old, they have all sorts of rights, to interfere with your life, your family's decisions, be rude, ba dao etc.
do they not think or remember how it was like before with their own mil?
if their mil was 'bad'/'good', why? Did she like it or not? And if she was doing the same things as her own mil, then should she be surprised that things turn out the way they do?

[Laura02]

I constantly remind myself that I cannot change other people, but I can change my attitude and opinions to the things that they do and say to me. Its like is the glass half full, or half empty.

My MIL stays with us, and we have had to adjust to the "inconveniences" that this arrangements bring. But over time, these adjustments have become not "inconveniences", but "considerations".
Initially, my mom commented that I was nicer to my MIL than to her. She used to worry that she wouldn’t get along with her DIL. But both my brothers did not marry and stay with her now.
What’s worse - to not get along with you DIL, or to not have any DIL.

[Funz]

Depends on the character of my future SIL or DIL also. If they are the forthcoming, warm and open type, I will definitely reciprocate. If they are more the arms length type then arms length relationship we shall have.


I believe that through their upbringing and from seeing how our relationship is with our parents as well as their own relationship with their grandparents, our kids will mirror that when they have their own family. And in choosing a life partner, they will in their subconscious look out for people who have similar experiences or are not against the kind of family life we have.

[janet88]

Funz:

Depends on the character of my future SIL or DIL also. If they are the forthcoming, warm and open type, I will definitely reciprocate. If they are more the arms length type then arms length relationship we shall have.

If any person is warm and friendly, one would definitely reciprocate.
However, if the person chooses to be unfriendly, then it is an arms length relationship...this is the way things work.

[Funz]

janet_lee88:

Funz:

Depends on the character of my future SIL or DIL also. If they are the forthcoming, warm and open type, I will definitely reciprocate. If they are more the arms length type then arms length relationship we shall have.

If any person is warm and friendly, one would definitely reciprocate.
However, if the person chooses to be unfriendly, then it is an arms length relationship...this is the way things work.

umm yah... what I am saying is I have no pre-conceived notion what kind of DIL or SIL I will have. What kind of MIL I will be to that DIL/SIL depends very much on what kind of spouse my kids end up with. A relationship is 2 ways.

[sleepy]

If I'm a MIL,

I want to get a say in selecting my (favourite type of) son in law :evil:

Already started brain washing my girls on my favourite type :evil: :evil:

[nightlone]

Funz:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"Funz\"]Depends on the character of my future SIL or DIL also. If they are the forthcoming, warm and open type, I will definitely reciprocate. If they are more the arms length type then arms length relationship we shall have.

If any person is warm and friendly, one would definitely reciprocate.
However, if the person chooses to be unfriendly, then it is an arms length relationship...this is the way things work.

umm yah... what I am saying is I have no pre-conceived notion what kind of DIL or SIL I will have. What kind of MIL I will be to that DIL/SIL depends very much on what kind of spouse my kids end up with. A relationship is 2 ways.[/quote] :goodpost: agreed!