In-law problems?

[winth]

Andaiz:

This may be off topic but I don't know where else to post this. Mods, please split thread if deemed fit


Just yesterday, DD1 recounted this incident to my mum (who looks after them in the day) about how MIL brought my kids out to a park once and lost DD3 without even realizing it (DD1 had to tell her). After what seemed like a great length of time when three of them (DD1, DD2 and MIL) called out her name etc...they still couldn't find her...and then MIL asked DD1 what should they do now...to which DD1 pointed to the Information Counter and asked her to report loss of DD3 so that they can announce her (DD1 then went on to describe what DD3 was wearing at that time). It was only as they neared the Counter that she (DD1) spotted DD3 playing by herself at the bench nearby.

I really don't know what transpired between the time they realized that she was lost till when she was found. MIL did not tell me about this incident; and DD2 actually mentioned it to me in the passing once but not with such vivid descripton.

It's not the first time that the kids got left behind (sometimes in lifts; which is why I now teach my kids which buttons to press in the event they get stuck inside :stupid: :stupid: )

We've also told DH of these incidents; and need to have IL's look after my children this weekend coz we have a wedding dinner to attend. No other baby-sitting alternatives, unfortunately. What should we tell them? Not to go out? Sure kenna black face lah!

That's not really new to me too.
We were usually left behind - DS1 and me when I was still new to the family. Once, we went to Chinatown for the CNY shopping. DH was always stuck with his family members' conversations and they would walk real quick. Me, pushing the pram with no one to help (or they just pretend that they are not looking cos they just walk past me like a stranger). Only when DH looked back and searched high and low for me, ya... then the group of 'actors' will come offer their assistance to get the pram out of the alley.

DS could just go with MIL to queue up for some dessert and come back with scratches/bumps on his head. We witnessed the whole incident and it's really like, she only takes care of herself and bag. Toddler just trodded behind her and if any 'eye-less' auntie were to crash into him, that's it. She would also offer to hold my boy's hand while crossing road, and while walking, she just takes care of her path, not my toddler's, so my toddler had to look out for himself. As a result, he would bump into walls, knock into the car bodies and scrap his head past car side mirrors. :roll:

Unfortunately, I don't think you should 'instruct' your PILs, you'll get more gossips. If I had really no choice but to leave them with my MIL, I can only leave my baby's fate on her hands and pray for the best.

[Andaiz]

winth:

... I can only leave my baby's fate on her hands and pray for the best.

:goodpost: winth and my sentiments exactly. The One above has done an exceedingly wonderful job with the DD's lives in her hands so far.

Yep, can only

I sometimes call up on the pre-text of talking to children but also kenna black face! :!:

[buds]

winth:

If I had really no choice but to leave them with my MIL, I can only leave my baby's fate on her hands and pray for the best.

:!:

:faint:

Mine, i can only that she doesn't bad-mouth me
to my children. :roll: Cos the stuff she tells the girls of
course most times, come back to me. :roll: Somehow,
i suppose she doesn't know that when she does that
she is showing too much of herself and losing respect
from the kiddies. I just tell the girls, it's ok. I'm ok. I'm
just happy they know me (their mummy) well enough..
.. to be able to understand and differentiate that i am
not whatever she is feeding their little minds with. :faint:

And that it is never true that i do not love them as much
as she does... Or that i love one DD more than thee other.

[Andaiz]

buds:

...can only that she doesn't bad-mouth me
to my children. :roll: Cos the stuff she tells the girls of
course most times, come back to me. :roll: Somehow,
i suppose she doesn't know that when she does that
she is showing too much of herself and losing respect
from the kiddies. I just tell the girls, it's ok. I'm ok. I'm
just happy they know me (their mummy) well enough..
.. to be able to understand and differentiate that i am
not whatever she is feeding their little minds with. :faint:

And that it is never true that i do not love them as much
as she does... Or that i love one DD more than thee other.

:!: :!: :!:

You think buds, your MIL and my MIL come from same factory??!


Mine keeps telling the girls that I love the mei mei more than her (DD1) and because this one also very sensitive, she sometimes believe it and I have to re-teach and reassure and everything else during the weekends only to have her undo these all!

When DD1 was 4 yo, I realized the deep-seatedness of her insecurity that stems from her toxic words...one day, she said \"I'm jealous...\":faint:

How does a 4-yo label such a strong emotion, I ask you?

[kiasimom]

How about brother/ sister in law problems? Or in-law to in- law

problems? is explain: my parents don’t like my in-laws.
Anyone have problems like that?

[Andaiz]

kiasimom:

How about brother/ sister in law problems? Or in-law to in- law

problems? is explain: my parents don't like my in-laws.
Anyone have problems like that?

My dear kiasimom, we're really kindred souls. Yes, yes, and yes!

My parents don't want anything to do with my in-laws coz they show no respect to them; are really rude to them...there was once, my FIL barged into my place once and started shouting at my parents I was like :!: !

Recently, PIL's called up DH to \"complain\" that the family was not spending time together on their (PIL's) anniversary. DH was like :? :? coz his parents have typically celebrated theirs intimately (i.e., 2 of them) whereas mine celebrate with the entire immediate family.
So there's competition lah!

[winth]

kiasimom:

How about brother/ sister in law problems? Or in-law to in- law

problems? is explain: my parents don't like my in-laws.
Anyone have problems like that?

For me, I seem to have problem with the females in the household. So, yes to SIL and MIL. FIL and BIL, so far not giving me problems, except that they create alot of chaos internally with their own personal issues.

My parents don't like my in-laws too cos they really know how to act all nice when we are around, but they can totally ignore my parents and brother when we are not there.

We had to go through double-efforts when we hold events in our house like Christmas dinner or birthday gatherings. It is better this way, no one gets black face and no one suffers.

[Andaiz]

winth:

We had to go through double-efforts when we hold events in our house like Christmas dinner or birthday gatherings. It is better this way, no one gets black face and no one suffers.

Yes, dearest winth, I can identify with that...double celebrations or a big do for the kids' birthdays so there's lots more distractions around but still there'd be some innocuous swipe :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

[mummy of 2]

I feel that it is gd to separate the ILs and parents, to limit comparison (or competition).


My ILs and parents are on ok terms ie they don’t hate each other and can chat when they see each other. But I hate to see my SIL’s MIL.

[winth]

mummy of 2:

I feel that it is gd to separate the ILs and parents, to limit comparison (or competition).


My ILs and parents are on ok terms ie they don't hate each other and can chat when they see each other. But I hate to see my SIL's MIL.

Wow, you mean you even get to see your SIL's MIL???
That's a really 'distant' relationship!
But her MIL can't be that bad to you right?