Sibling Rivalry

[smurf]

erm, they are not scared of caning. they are scare only when the cane is waving, but after beating,, they will still return to fighting. which is why I said, I BO BIAN! :frustrated:

[kiasimom]

smurf:

erm, they are not scared of caning. they are scare only when the cane is waving, but after beating,, they will still return to fighting. which is why I said, I BO BIAN! :frustrated:

Seperate them. Time out for them.
I seperated my two children and forbid them to play with each other.

Now as they grow older, when they quarrel, I made them hug each other for 1 min and get them to apologise to each other.

It WORKS!!!

They seldom fight now :celebrate:

[smurf]

good method. but they usually ignore me!

[kiasimom]

smurf:

good method. but they usually ignore me!

Seems like your children are not afraid of you.
Did anyone take sides with them when you discipline them?

[smurf]

they are not. not scare of anyone…they are scare only when someone wave the cane and beat…but after that, back to square 1.

[kiasimom]

smurf:

they are not. not scare of anyone...they are scare only when someone wave the cane and beat...but after that, back to square 1.

There must be a reason why your children are so rebellious.
You need to find the root of the problem.

[smurf]

hmm...tough...character problem? :?

[Andaiz]

smurf:

they are not. not scare of anyone...they are scare only when someone wave the cane and beat...but after that, back to square 1.

smurf, could it be that they're afraid of the beating, and not really aware of the consequence of their action?

My 3 gals hit and scratch but once someone gets injured, it would stop. I hate shouting at them but this year has been explosive for both DH and I (i.e., shouting at them to stop) and surprisingly, it works .

We're trying to be consistent now coz I think in the past, we've been really laxed. It's worked so far for 2010.

Smurf, don't give up hope...here's something another parent shared with me and do give it a try:

My friend pointed out to me the analogy of a wide field - when we run through this, it's hard to tell where it starts and where it ends...increasingly, we'd try and test these...and get tired out.

In a case where we are allowed to run through the field, but this time with a clearly defined boundary of barbed wires, then we know where it starts and ends. No need to get unfazed by it all; and in fact, we know when to stop (i.e., when you reached barbed wires) or injuries and unpleasantness (electrocution) would occur.

Kids probably need to know this and their limits too

[MJ2010]

My kids in their teens fight at home. But discipline themselves in school. Normal.

[smurf]

Hi Andaiz,

thanks for sharing.

I think my kids are scare of caning, BUT they will return to square 1 after I caned them. Yup, I use cane, cos if I dun, I can't control them at all. talking, nagging, shouting, distracting dun work. can u imagine they dun even listen to what said??


I hate caning, but I dun have a choice...I use separation, but after maybe about 5 mins...they will be back to playing and then fightin. :x