In-law problems?

[Andaiz]

Hey, Ladies...thanks for your swell advice (that undoubtedly came from bottoms of your hearts! :love: )


Survived this weekend with them! Learnt to keep my mouth shut and just let the rest of the conversation flow around me (tongue swollen from all that biting but saved my hide! )

In fact, managed to have a nice conversation with FIL coz the rest of the family got down the puny little lift after dinner...made mention that my DH especially chose the dinner place coz he knew that THEY (meaning ILs) would enjoy it. Little did I know that DH had told his parents that I made the effort to get the birthday cake for both MIL and FIL since it was missed out the last celebration.

I know that FIL is putting the pieces together and drawing his own conclusions...but I honestly and hope that he sees the truth and not be blinded by words and insinuation...they want to appear \"fair\" but by screaming at DH mid week certainly was not fair to us, was it? :x

[Funz]

CNY’s round the corner and since DH and I were married, the reunion dinner is a source of tension for us.


When we were first married, MIL insisted that the reunion dinner must be on the eve of CNY. So ok fine, we have it on eve of CNY and with my family the Saturday b4 the eve since all girls and all need to be at IL’s for reunion on eve. Then SIL got married and cannot make it on eve of CNY so we had to have it earlier but cannot be too early. And no one wants to confirm when exactly they are able to make it. So I got fedup told DH, just book the restaurant, let everyone know what time and when and if they don’t turn up too bad. So for a few years since SIL got married, we have been having reunion dinner on the Sunday b4 the actual eve.

Then suddenly last year, MIL was upset, say how can we have reunion with my family b4 theirs, not respectful, then went on to say it seems more like he married into my family cos 1st day of CNY oso go my parents place b4 her place. Well yah, when we 1st got married we go bai nian with them first. But since we need to run a few places, we need to be at ILs place before10am so that we can make it to my parents place to bai nian with them b4 lunch cos thereafter my parents have to make their rounds too. But each year when we get there, both MIL and FIL are still sleeping. Then MIL also complain we stay awhile only then go off oredi. So we switch, go to my parents first then to PILs so that they don’t have to get up early bcos of us and we can stay longer, oso problem.

DH mentioned, this CNY we go away. Told him you want more trouble issit. Think he oso headache. This way oso not right that way oso cannot. Told him haiyah, once a year thing, just go along with whatever she wants and get it over with.

[Andaiz]

Actually, the CNY thingy causes us tension but a different kind. With 3 kids, getting out the door is very xiong! Also, by the time we get to IL's place, wait for MIL to get her food ready etc (actually already ready from last night but hey, will make big show) plus BIL and family to turn up - MUST take family photo coz it's tradition... and we get to leave, it's already coz my parents are \"chasing us\" so that they can go on their rounds...then it's to my grandpa's place, and my auntie's for lunch before we head out to IL's aunty. Haiz...anyway, last year also kenna black face coz we arrived late (ILs and all uncles etc were already there...and had Pizza Hut lunch - us? We had traditional Cantonese fare coz my uncle is a fantastic cook ) - then they (ILs) complain coz we don't see all other uncles and cousins.


I was like we just saw them at Reunion Dinner! :roll:

[kiasimom]

I have never enjoyed cny reunion dinner after I married

DH. Sounds ironic???!!
Every year we will quarrel over whose place to go for
CNY reunion dinner.
I personally want to have it at BIL place but DH
insists we have it at our place this year.
Seriously, if I refused to give in, we will not have
reunion dinner this year.
Remember my previous post about me initially not
wanting to go for MIL birthday dinner ?
My DH hit the roof! He will then said sickening stuffs
like why I can eat with my parents and not with his and
the comparisions will go longer than Great Wall!!!

Thanks to him now I have serious phobia for festive
seasons!

He just doesn’t see the light!

[mummy of 2]

Oh dear, sounds like festive season is one big minefield. Am glad I don’t have this issue. First day of CNY go to my mother’s place in the morning, second day visit my sister after lunch then go to DH uncle’s house. That’s it - all obligations fulfilled. Phew!

[Funz]

oh yah, another sore point. MIL will invariably buy some clothes for kiddos and she will get upset if they do not wear what she bought them when we visit them on the 1st day of CNY. But what she bought them are usually those really OTT kinda clothes, especially for DD, she will get those frilly glittery frou frou frock which I hate. No way is DD gonna be caught wearing those frocks. And to be frank, they are my kids so I want them to wear what I bought them!


And visiting their relatives is another major confusion. Every year, DH will ask them if they want to visit anyone and everytime it will be no lah no one, then somehow when we have arranged the schedule with my side of the family oredi, there will always be a surprise, ‘come lets go to gu ma house or sam pak place’ when we are about to head to our next destination. So these days, DH will tell them we cannot go with them cos frankly speaking DH prefer to head to my uncle’s place where there is mahjong waiting for us.

[kiasimom]

My MIL never buys anything for my children.

Glad that she doesn’t or another storm will be brewing :!:

[Eagle-Ladybird]

Andaiz:

(actually already ready from last night but hey, will make big show)

:rotflmao:

[tree nymph]

its ‘heart-warming’ to me that so many of you are staying with PIL… me too and will be celebrating the 10th year soon! must say fight a few good fights with MIL and survived. the worst was when we had the first child. all hell broke loose… i almost went right into depression and kept thinking of killing myself and the newborn baby… and still DH refused to move out… so i’m still here lor…

[Andaiz]

tree nymph:

its 'heart-warming' to me that so many of you are staying with PIL... me too and will be celebrating the 10th year soon! must say fight a few good fights with MIL and survived. the worst was when we had the first child. all hell broke loose... i almost went right into depression and kept thinking of killing myself and the newborn baby... and still DH refused to move out... so i'm still here lor...

tree nymph , you're a survivor. Although you didn't exactly describe your relationship with your PIL's, by the fact that you're still staying with them in spite of all that is happening is indeed admirable! :udawoman: