In-law problems?

[hquek]

hi buds,


Been catching this thread on/off. Wow…I feel so bad for you. If my hubby dared to do this, I would have given him the mother of rows. It really takes somebody very strong to be able to sit down quietly and talk it through. Somemore when you were preggy, thank goodness nothing bad came out of it.

Nothing I can add, except ‘Jia you!’, ‘Jia you’.

(and I cannot help but add: 天有眼)

[hquek]

MIL stays nearby but not with us. Even then, I managed to get into her bad books once when all of a sudden I kena the freeze treatment.


I had absolutely NO clue what was going on, until hubby 'fessed up and told me his mum was mad at me - but he couldn’t tell me explain what was the problem. I was super angry with him for not defending me when his mum complained to him about me (apparently with tears in her eyes), and even more angry with her - she can tahan her kids screaming at her, but I cannot raise my voice in my own home? (that I supposed was the problem she had with me).

Anyway, post cold war, she’s nice to me again. but I cannot forget the past hurt - so am maintaining really really cool relations with her. Bad of me I know, but I really hate when I was condemned without knowing why.

[buds]

That's what i thought when i heard of friends' husbands...

But when it came to my own experience, it was just... i dunno...
Not that easy lah.. guess when it truly happens to you, you hafta
deal with it as it comes along. Nooo... i'm not that strong. Without
strong family support, (esp daddie)... i wouldn't have held out this
long... actually i oso dunno how much longer now... heh. :lol:

I'm just re-capping what transpired years ago. That incident not
recent at all, but nevertheless forgiving mebbe possible, forgetting
mebbe not. :politebleah: Cos \"ren\" is truly a subjective action to diff
situations / circumstances in each individual's lives. While it may not
always be greener on the other side of the grass... there have been
success stories... of triumph... a happy MIL-DIL ending... there have
been progress in the making... then there's also progress in the faking
too... :rotflmao: ... Aniwaes.... (big sigh) ... this is life as we know it. Live
and let live? \"ai\" you live.... \"mai\" you die lor... (die in strength & spirit sense).

Yes, thank heavens for that.. only good came out from it. My eyes open
wider. :lol: I learn to watch my back more. I learn to watch for signs and
body language more.. I didn't use to... Just thought everything was fine.
At least i thought it was... Cheh... One-sided nia... I too naive. Hahaa.
Too green in the IL area. Too trusting. Too believing. Come to think of it..
too nice oso. :rotflmao:

Tks, hquek. Your added support will add to my strength. :hugs: I sincerely
appreciate it. See ya around..

[sunset_dae]

the cleverest decision that i have made in my life is not to stay with ILs.

before marriage i have alreadi tld hub rule no one is not to stay with ILS.
I believe no matter how nice they are, there are bound to have conflicts when staying under one roof.
When my house was under reno for a mth, i stayed with my ILS. It was a nightmare. When i woke up in the morning, i will make my own bed, and MIL will scold me saying:\"We got a maid wat, let the maid do!\"
The next day, after we woke up (of coz i didnt tidy the bed), MIL came to me and say:\" U are so lazy, wake up already, never tidy yr bed)
The 3rd day: I DUNO WAT TO DO!!
Volunteer to cook dinner: I have neber cook for the past 20 over yrs!
MIL laugh at me, say not nice, cut veg wrongly.... everyone in the family laughed at me, i ran into my room and cry!
After reno done, quickly pack and shift to new house (even though stay nxt blk to MIL), at least gt my own space..
Now 5 yrs up, selling away the house and shift FAR FAR AWAY from them!

[hquek]

hi sunsetdae, ha ha ha....I think I will make up half the bed...siao liao....either way also die.


Anyway, I'm a mother of 2 boys. A bit worried about the type of MIL I will be....I'm not an easy person to live with.

But, I shall endeavour to be the type that is around to help care for kids when couple is busy or wants some time out; else kaput and disappear when not needed. (okay, talk easy....got many more years before that happens). :lol:

[millan]

Looking at what you have written. Your husband is also a problem (not to rub it in) .


As you have stated, it is not unusual that your work late, so what the fuss ? Likely is that the MIL has some how been nagging and painted that he is not controlling you enough and therefore he vented on you. …

Just like drama hor ha ha ha . I have not read all the threads but u thot of moving out?

Alternatively, you need to tell your hubby straight straight to the face…

[sunset_dae]

hahaha make half the bed?! Idea man! i didnt tink of that at that time! :stupid:

I dont tink i will make a gd MIL either as i dun like staying with strangers and quite yim chim. let the youngster decide what they want, to stay or not to stay with us.. but one thing for sure, i wun be so siao!

hquek:

hi sunsetdae, ha ha ha....I think I will make up half the bed...siao liao....either way also die.

Anyway, I'm a mother of 2 boys. A bit worried about the type of MIL I will be....I'm not an easy person to live with.

But, I shall endeavour to be the type that is around to help care for kids when couple is busy or wants some time out; else kaput and disappear when not needed. (okay, talk easy....got many more years before that happens). :lol:

[buds]

I wud be contented with just my own place...

A place to call my own... our own...
I'm not asking for big house...
Small or big won't matter...
At least together...
In my case, no need far far oso bo tai-qi..
As long got one near near consider lucky liao.

Actually with IL oso not that it matters, but just
that some IL's just dunno how to appreciate that
children are staying with them.... let grandchildren
grow up with them.... Long sigh.... Haiyaaa... Keep
giving problems. :roll: Dunno lah... actually now oso
hor, come to think of it... even if finally strike lottery
and get the house... dun think it'll be the same...

Too much has happened to sour the relationship.

[buds]

sunset_dae:

i wun be so siao!

You better not ah! :nunchuk:

:rotflmao:

[hquek]

After all that has happened, I now avoid MIL’s place like the plague (fine if hubby wants to bring kids along, I’ll cook up some excuse not to go).


It’s true lah, once broken, mended mirror is definitely not the same.