All About Autism
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Hi All,
I am new to this forum. I am wondering if anyone can give some pointers on my situation. My 4th child is 3 years 8 months. Being the 4th, we neglected him a bit and put him in front of the TV for 8 hours a day. By 2 years, DS was non verbal and had poor eye contact. We suspected something amiss and had DS tested at NUH. The child development doctor was looking for Autism. A psychologist did a Diagnostics on DS. He met the cut-off for one autistic test (barely), a large part due to poor eye contact and was placed in the non-autistic range for the second. The final result read something like \"Diagnostics Withheld\", which is like a WTF to me, do you really know whats happening to my son or not?? but yes, do go for early intervention which we did.
So we enrolled DS into a mainstream kindergarten, AWWA EIPIC and a private ST. I can't remember why we omitted OT. All that happened so fast we did not question the why's. We just went through the motions and the yo-yo emotions, while reading up on Autism.
One and a half years later, I am none the wiser. I am sure glad I found this forum to share my thoughts (and angst). You see, from the hundreds of articles I have read on Autism, almost every described it as a condition with difficulty interacting or communicating. Herein in my gripe: my DS is just the opposite. He loves attention, interactions and lately, communications. He was just non verbal. I have no idea why the attending doctor was looking for Autism only and I cannot figure DS's exact problem, which is the frustrating part. Autism? Apraxia? Dyslexia? All of the above, none of the above or am I just in denial?
Btw, I have poor eye contact too. Did DS inherit my habit? I am not autistic as far as i know. My other son too has poor eye contact, had difficulties pronouncing and was late to talk. After he started talking, he is just like any NT child except that he does not like to make friends. My two daughters have no speech or interaction issues.
Some info on DS. He started babbling only at 3 after all the early intervention efforts. By now, he has a small diction of 50-80 words and can string 4 words together. He pronounces poorly but he has a lot of things to say, so he will run up to me or his siblings every now and then to babble a string of meaningless words unabashedly. He has a strong will and knows exactly what he wants. Anything less, he will tantrum. When we subsequently ignored him, his tantrums were reduced to just wailing. Now that he is talking, lesser tantrums, just straight into wailing. He has some difficulties adjusting to new situations though, like transiting from TV to bed. But that's about it. He does not flap, repeat, tip toe or line items. Has no sensory issues, is normal on the receptive language. Just delayed on the expressive front. His mainstream kindergarten teacher is of course upset with DS because DS is not as easy to handle as other kids (speech delayed) so they brought in another assistant teacher to handle DS which works out great for DS. DS takes to new people easily. His EIPIC teachers love him to bits.
Anyone with views of what I should do or expect from here? I am just thinking ARC, Pathlight and a merry life without Mother Tongue. PL's splendid teacher student ratio should profit DS. Then again, is he really autistic? Sigh....lost....
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Am with you on the “none the wiser after reading hundreds of articles/news” part. The way some are written and presented, one can make an armchair diagnosis that everybody is autistic in some way or the other.
But whether he is really ASD would be irrelevant since it sounds as though he is responding well to EIPIC and ST. That’s the important bit. And you don’t have to decide now. You still have a year to go as to whether you want to register him in PL or mainstream by end of next year.
Feel free to vent or angst here, we need the release once in a while. My gripe today is a wish that my well-meaning friends stop tagging me on each and every amateur video or half-researched article about ASD they come across on the Internet. I don’t need to know how tough it is to handle ASD kids, I KNOW already. And am obliged to thank them like they are doing me a favour. Gimme something useful like how to manage the behaviours or inspiring success stories like Temple Grandlin’s then I’ll be truly grateful. -
tyeogh:
tyeogh
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Anyone with views of what I should do or expect from here? I am just thinking ARC, Pathlight and a merry life without Mother Tongue. PL's splendid teacher student ratio should profit DS. Then again, is he really autistic? Sigh....lost....
I agree that you could continue with the intervention at this juncture since its effective, without having to bother too much about the label.
In any case, you will need a psy assessment report in order to apply for PL. By then you would most probably be clearer on the diagnosis. But I suppose the dilemma here is that if he is not ASD and cannot go PL, then what next? ... sometimes living with ASD seems like living on a tightrope ... I had the same feeling when I was deciding on school placement for my doter.
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Hello everyone,
Been wanting to ask this… How do you deal with people who complain or angry with our ASD kids when we are out?
Example: Son once pushed an adult to move forward to see something. This man complain to me to say "Your son pushed me" shake his head and walk away - I apologize on son’s behalf and yet he still give me a frustrated look. Before I can ask son to apologize, the man moved away already sigh
Another time was my son cannot decide if he wants to take the stairs or escalator at MRT station. He paused in his steps like 2 seconds to decide in the crowd… and the lady behind me say "Tsk" with palm facing upwards toward son like gesturing "What are you doing".
I was so so mad, really feel like picking a fight with her. Why people now are so intolerable? Son is just not as fast pace as the adults that’s all.
Now when I bring son out esp to MRT at crowded areas, I will need to keep reminding him to be swift and fast. stress -
tyeogh - if I were you, I would ignore the diagnosis (which was not conclusive anyway) and just regard your child as normal with perhaps some difficulties in specific areas. ASD is a continuum anyway, and where the line is drawn between NT and ASD is not always very distinct. My Asperger’s daughter (16yo) has more issues than your son and has been in mainstream all the way. Just deal with the various issues like transitions etc and they should get more managable over time.
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nugget:
I know how you feel, but there isn't anything you can do about it. ASD kids are a very small minority, and there will always be the ignorant and intolerant around. Just develop a thick skin, and be as considerate to others as you can while protecting your child. My 16yo daughter still hesitates a bit on escalators, and I know others get irritated, so I just tell her to always stand to one side and to be quick as she can while still being safe. Having her fall would cause even more delay to everyone. And I try to avoid very crowded places if possible.I was so so mad, really feel like picking a fight with her. Why people now are so intolerable? Son is just not as fast pace as the adults that's all.
Now when I bring son out esp to MRT at crowded areas, I will need to keep reminding him to be swift and fast. *stress* -
nugget:
hi nugget,Hello everyone,
Been wanting to ask this... How do you deal with people who complain or angry with our ASD kids when we are out?
*pat pat* i agree with you feeling angsty esp with people seemingly more impatient nowadays. My skin has grown exponentially thicker but sometimes it still irks me. Most times I just let it slide and try not to let it get to me too much. Main thing is not to let it affect us too much and in turn affect our kids...
It was my own parents who reminded me how impatient I used to be in my 20s - I was not a big fan of babies and kids and would give them/their parents evil eye when kids ran amok :oops:
Of cos I'm not saying our ASD kids are the same as those who are just ill-behaved. Just that everyone has their side of the story and unless those people actually hurt DS, I'll just explain or let those complaints about DS slide.
Once DS and i were at Bird Park and DS was wearing a sun hat. We encountered older children from a special school on their excursion. A few boys kept flipping DS's hat and finally one plucked it out of his head and threw on the floor. DS was blur while I thought the boys were just trying to be friendly with DS. However this middle aged male passerby was very angry on our behalf and stopped in front of the last boy and scolded him. I stepped in and explained as best as I could that no harm was done and the boy had special needs. The passerby really glared at me, muttered something about \"好心没好报... special needs also must have manners\" - then stormed off... I felt really bad - bad for the boy and in a way bad for the man who perhaps thought he was doing the right thing. Still it reflected that awareness is not that high everywhere... -
You are waaaaaay more patient than me Nugget, I will probably pick a fight with them. :stompfeet: Sometimes I will bite my tongue and let hubby handle as he is more bo chup and thus not so sensitive to their comments. I also constantly remind myself that they dunno the situation so it’s easy to criticize. And that they are strangers whom we never have to see again. These days I actually don’t explain if I can help it, they aren’t worth the effort. In these cases, it helps to have a forgetful mind so that you won’t remember and stew over such thoughtless comments.
One recent incident was at Disneyland of all places. My boy was curiously tugging at the queue rope which was attached to the wall (so it wasn’t like the flimsy metal stands where it could fall and hit someone) and the attendant just pointed her index finger close to his face and scolded him very loudly. Most rides have long queues and waiting time can stretch to more than 30mins, any kid would grow restless and hyper waiting right? Anyway for once it was my hubby who scolded her back for being so rude to a kid. We decided against formally complaining to management as we don’t want her to lose her job but seriously remind yourself where you are working lady. Sheesh. -
slmkhoo:
tyeogh - if I were you, I would ignore the diagnosis (which was not conclusive anyway) and just regard your child as normal with perhaps some difficulties in specific areas. ASD is a continuum anyway, and where the line is drawn between NT and ASD is not always very distinct. My Asperger's daughter (16yo) has more issues than your son and has been in mainstream all the way. Just deal with the various issues like transitions etc and they should get more managable over time.
slmkhoo, I hear you. Thanks.
Balachanbabe, ImMeeMee, thanks too for the kind words. We have this Auto Fightback Mode somewhere (or is it just me?). We get depressed over our special kids, receive a pat on our backs and the next moment, we turn into Titanium again....for them.
I heard something beautiful on radio today from a parent.
A ship is safe in harbour, but that's not what ships are built for - William GT Shed.
To all you brave ASD mommies out there, I salute you for Journeying through life :udawoman:
Btw, I am a daddy. -
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