All About Autism
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nugget:
I know how you feel, but there isn't anything you can do about it. ASD kids are a very small minority, and there will always be the ignorant and intolerant around. Just develop a thick skin, and be as considerate to others as you can while protecting your child. My 16yo daughter still hesitates a bit on escalators, and I know others get irritated, so I just tell her to always stand to one side and to be quick as she can while still being safe. Having her fall would cause even more delay to everyone. And I try to avoid very crowded places if possible.I was so so mad, really feel like picking a fight with her. Why people now are so intolerable? Son is just not as fast pace as the adults that's all.
Now when I bring son out esp to MRT at crowded areas, I will need to keep reminding him to be swift and fast. *stress* -
nugget:
hi nugget,Hello everyone,
Been wanting to ask this... How do you deal with people who complain or angry with our ASD kids when we are out?
*pat pat* i agree with you feeling angsty esp with people seemingly more impatient nowadays. My skin has grown exponentially thicker but sometimes it still irks me. Most times I just let it slide and try not to let it get to me too much. Main thing is not to let it affect us too much and in turn affect our kids...
It was my own parents who reminded me how impatient I used to be in my 20s - I was not a big fan of babies and kids and would give them/their parents evil eye when kids ran amok :oops:
Of cos I'm not saying our ASD kids are the same as those who are just ill-behaved. Just that everyone has their side of the story and unless those people actually hurt DS, I'll just explain or let those complaints about DS slide.
Once DS and i were at Bird Park and DS was wearing a sun hat. We encountered older children from a special school on their excursion. A few boys kept flipping DS's hat and finally one plucked it out of his head and threw on the floor. DS was blur while I thought the boys were just trying to be friendly with DS. However this middle aged male passerby was very angry on our behalf and stopped in front of the last boy and scolded him. I stepped in and explained as best as I could that no harm was done and the boy had special needs. The passerby really glared at me, muttered something about \"好心没好报... special needs also must have manners\" - then stormed off... I felt really bad - bad for the boy and in a way bad for the man who perhaps thought he was doing the right thing. Still it reflected that awareness is not that high everywhere... -
You are waaaaaay more patient than me Nugget, I will probably pick a fight with them. :stompfeet: Sometimes I will bite my tongue and let hubby handle as he is more bo chup and thus not so sensitive to their comments. I also constantly remind myself that they dunno the situation so it’s easy to criticize. And that they are strangers whom we never have to see again. These days I actually don’t explain if I can help it, they aren’t worth the effort. In these cases, it helps to have a forgetful mind so that you won’t remember and stew over such thoughtless comments.
One recent incident was at Disneyland of all places. My boy was curiously tugging at the queue rope which was attached to the wall (so it wasn’t like the flimsy metal stands where it could fall and hit someone) and the attendant just pointed her index finger close to his face and scolded him very loudly. Most rides have long queues and waiting time can stretch to more than 30mins, any kid would grow restless and hyper waiting right? Anyway for once it was my hubby who scolded her back for being so rude to a kid. We decided against formally complaining to management as we don’t want her to lose her job but seriously remind yourself where you are working lady. Sheesh. -
slmkhoo:
tyeogh - if I were you, I would ignore the diagnosis (which was not conclusive anyway) and just regard your child as normal with perhaps some difficulties in specific areas. ASD is a continuum anyway, and where the line is drawn between NT and ASD is not always very distinct. My Asperger's daughter (16yo) has more issues than your son and has been in mainstream all the way. Just deal with the various issues like transitions etc and they should get more managable over time.
slmkhoo, I hear you. Thanks.
Balachanbabe, ImMeeMee, thanks too for the kind words. We have this Auto Fightback Mode somewhere (or is it just me?). We get depressed over our special kids, receive a pat on our backs and the next moment, we turn into Titanium again....for them.
I heard something beautiful on radio today from a parent.
A ship is safe in harbour, but that's not what ships are built for - William GT Shed.
To all you brave ASD mommies out there, I salute you for Journeying through life :udawoman:
Btw, I am a daddy. -
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phtthp:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2103940/Autism-Can-children-simply-grow-One-mother-tells-sons-life-transformed.html
Quote:
But most of the children change only after years of intensive parental support. Sadly, she says, it is not possible to predict which children will improve.
And she cautions that recovery is ‘not a realistic expectation for the majority of kids, but parents should know it can happen’.
Certainly, Josh is very different nowadays. ‘He couldn’t talk. Now he doesn’t stop talking,’ says Renitha. ‘He learnt numbers very quickly and loves maths.’
But Renitha is adamant that Josh will always be autistic. He is in a mainstream school but he needs support to comprehend his lessons, she says: ‘Children don’t grow out of being autistic, but some can learn to live with it.
‘The danger is that if parents think their children will grow out of it, they might not put in the effort required to make a difference.’
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2103940/Autism-Can-children-simply-grow-One-mother-tells-sons-life-transformed.html#ixzz2g2t1g1Qf
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
Inspiring, but also sobering. I agree with this mother - I have seen improvements in my daughter over the years, but it has been with a lot of effort from us parents and herself, and she will still always have the basic traits that she started off with. What we have managed to help her with is coping strategies and learned skills, but coping with new situations and learning new skills always needs help from someone else who can analyse the situation and break the solution into bite-sized steps. It's not a cure, it's coping. -
slmkhoo:
I agree too. Whenever my son shows improvement, I have to remind myself that he is still autistic and is not that he has recovered. But he can cope because we have find ways to work around it.phtthp:
Quote:
But most of the children change only after years of intensive parental support. Sadly, she says, it is not possible to predict which children will improve.
And she cautions that recovery is ‘not a realistic expectation for the majority of kids, but parents should know it can happen’.
Certainly, Josh is very different nowadays. ‘He couldn’t talk. Now he doesn’t stop talking,’ says Renitha. ‘He learnt numbers very quickly and loves maths.’
But Renitha is adamant that Josh will always be autistic. He is in a mainstream school but he needs support to comprehend his lessons, she says: ‘Children don’t grow out of being autistic, but some can learn to live with it.
‘The danger is that if parents think their children will grow out of it, they might not put in the effort required to make a difference.’
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2103940/Autism-Can-children-simply-grow-One-mother-tells-sons-life-transformed.html#ixzz2g2t1g1Qf
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
Inspiring, but also sobering. I agree with this mother - I have seen improvements in my daughter over the years, but it has been with a lot of effort from us parents and herself, and she will still always have the basic traits that she started off with. What we have managed to help her with is coping strategies and learned skills, but coping with new situations and learning new skills always needs help from someone else who can analyse the situation and break the solution into bite-sized steps. It's not a cure, it's coping.
As for dealing with people who got angry with our kid's behaviour, I will simply apologise on his behalf (if is clearly an undesirable behaviour) and move on. I usually can't be bothered to explain to strangers about his condition and I would think these people will have no patience to listen to my grandmother stories too. -
Hi!
Just wondering if anyone has recommendations for social/emotional therapy or social skills workshops. My boy has adjusted to primary school life and has performed well in written papers. However he is still very sensitive and emotional. He takes a long time to warm up and hence, does not really have good friends. He told me he’s lonely at times but does not dare to approach others to play with. He only plays with others when they asked him to join in.
Hope to get some advice. Thank you. -
Miloqueen00:
Have you taught him how to start a conversation and talk to people? If you can teach him and role play at home (get siblings and anyone sympathetic to help out), you may not need to look for outside sessions. We taught my daughter \"What are you doing?\", \"That looks like an interesting book\", \"Is that nice to eat?\" etc as possible opening lines. We also role-played how to continue on various conversation starters from other people. Maybe you can script a few for your son.Hi!
Just wondering if anyone has recommendations for social/emotional therapy or social skills workshops. My boy has adjusted to primary school life and has performed well in written papers. However he is still very sensitive and emotional. He takes a long time to warm up and hence, does not really have good friends. He told me he's lonely at times but does not dare to approach others to play with. He only plays with others when they asked him to join in.
Hope to get some advice. Thank you. -
Dear simkhoo,
Thanks. Actually, he’s able to start a conversation or play with his peers or his younger sis. He has improved a lot in his interaction skills after attending the social skills playgroup organized by KKH. He is able to make friends but isn’t able to deepen the relationship or friendship as what he would like to. He is very reserved n is sometimes in his own world. Told him to respond or interact more with his friends but he’s shy. When we role play with him, he’s able to interact well as he’s comfortable with us. We are at a loss, not knowing what to do. That’s why we r looking into social skills playgroups, hoping it will give him more opportunities to interact with his peers.
Really appreciate your reply. Thank you very much.
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