All About Teaching Values

[Bowie]

Thanx Sesame for sharing.


Think soft approach work better for my gal too. Sometimes after much \"counselling\" privately, she will admit its her fault.

Guess need a lot of patience + patience+ patience from us, the mommies and daddies.

Got to work harder!!

[RRMummy]

Miracle Child:

Hi RRMummy,


Thanks for sharing this story with us. Told it to my son and his behaviour seems to have improved i.e. he is demonstrating higher EQ these two days. :celebrate: Hope this continues.... :xedfingers:

Hi Miracle Child, Great to hear it made a difference!! Keep us updated.. :celebrate:

[Love_Sunshine]

I do appreciate my son's honesty, however, sometimes it doesn't seem to be on the right side as he would report a 'bad' deed done by his brothers instead. Should i praise him or should i reprimand him for carrying tales? However, I do appreciate what he did, as least i know what is going on btwn them. But at the same time, I don't want to give him d impression that its alright to carry tales. What should i do? Pls. advise. Thanks ya!

ChiefKiasu:

Thanks for the good advice. I do practice what you mentioned for honesty, but it hasn't been working lately. Also, not sure if the SG dramas are really good as examples - there's quite a bit of sexuality and violence themes in those lately. But I thought the Sunday morning/noon productions like \"I not stupid\" and kids-related productions are very good.

I still think real life interaction with actual people who are less fortunate than himself would be a better trigger to make him become more responsible for himself. I'm not thinking of a course or a module.

Also, he has been wanting to join the boys brigade or scouts. I have resisted because I thought that is really \"going through the motion\", but that may not be fair as I'm not too familiar with what actually goes on in those organizations. It's just that I've been skeptical (from young) that organisations that make kids pay big bucks for \"dressing up\" in spanking neat uniforms actually take doing charity seriously.

[146946]

Hi, something to share with all parents out there. My gal is in Primary 1 and they have their 1st spelling and dictation test yesterday. During the test, a boy sitting next to my gal copied the answers from a piece of paper he hid under the table and scored full mark and was given a star by the teacher. My girl wanted to tell the teacher that the boy cheated but another student who saw it too stopped her.


She came home, relates the incident to me and told me she wanted to cheat too as she wanted a star instead of doing corrections for wrong answers. Of course I told her she should not cheat but to try her best instead as cheating is wrong. So she asked whether she should inform the teacher of it. Sigh…though I know this is not the right way, I told her not to and instead, just learn to close one eye. I’m worry she might be targetted by her classmates for telling tales.

However, I do wonder how could a 6 year old boy, only his 3rd week in primary school sitting for his 1st spelling has learned how to cheat, and quite expertly too. Wonder what is his family background and upbringing that taught him to cheat at such young age and wonder what his future like if cheating is acceptable for him.

[3Boys]

146946:

Hi, something to share with all parents out there. My gal is in Primary 1 and they have their 1st spelling and dictation test yesterday. During the test, a boy sitting next to my gal copied the answers from a piece of paper he hid under the table and scored full mark and was given a star by the teacher. My girl wanted to tell the teacher that the boy cheated but another student who saw it too stopped her.


She came home, relates the incident to me and told me she wanted to cheat too as she wanted a star instead of doing corrections for wrong answers. Of course I told her she should not cheat but to try her best instead as cheating is wrong. So she asked whether she should inform the teacher of it. Sigh.....though I know this is not the right way, I told her not to and instead, just learn to close one eye. I'm worry she might be targetted by her classmates for telling tales.

However, I do wonder how could a 6 year old boy, only his 3rd week in primary school sitting for his 1st spelling has learned how to cheat, and quite expertly too. Wonder what is his family background and upbringing that taught him to cheat at such young age and wonder what his future like if cheating is acceptable for him.

My view is that it should be reported. I feel that we have a certain duty to 'defend' the right values, and to do so sometimes we need to do the hard thing by calling out those who break the rules. This is not so much to punish the rule-breaker, but to keep the environment safe and fair for those who in fact, do play by the rules.

These days, you can write e-mails in to the form teacher. In that way, you can take the heat off your DD but still demonstrate that right is right and wrong is wrong.

[Blobbi]

146946:

She came home, relates the incident to me and told me she wanted to cheat too as she wanted a star instead of doing corrections for wrong answers. Of course I told her she should not cheat but to try her best instead as cheating is wrong. So she asked whether she should inform the teacher of it. Sigh.....though I know this is not the right way, I told her not to and instead, just learn to close one eye. I'm worry she might be targetted by her classmates for telling tales.

However, I do wonder how could a 6 year old boy, only his 3rd week in primary school sitting for his 1st spelling has learned how to cheat, and quite expertly too. Wonder what is his family background and upbringing that taught him to cheat at such young age and wonder what his future like if cheating is acceptable for him.

I totally agree with 3boys. You'll be doing a favour to both your daughter and the boy. For your daughter, it's a teachable moment to learn that such things are not looked upon kindly. And for the boy, well, he has to learn that this is not the way to get what he wants.

It's really hard to know where he could have learnt such things, but I don't doubt the ingenuity of young children. All it takes is a little snippet on TV or a book for him to spot this \"opportunity\". I think his parents may be shocked to find out as well.

[corneyAmber]

I agree with both 3Boys and Blobbi that it should be reported.


However, I can understand one concern. If the other student who saw too did not want to co-operate, then it would be only your girl’s word against the boy who cheated, unless the evidence could still be found.

Since the matter had passed and evidence might be destroyed, it would be hard to report on it. However, if I were you, I would explain all these in clear terms to my child. It is not that she should close one eye, she should act when the evidence could be seized on the spot. If not, reporting right now may just let the teacher cast a doubt on your girl if she was jealous of the "star" she never got and fabricated the tale since there was no way to investigate now.

So why don’t wait for the next test and the moment it happens, stand up and ask for the teacher, catch him red-handed on the spot and let the teacher deal with it. Then he and everyone would learn a lesson.

[schweppes]

Agree with all the above that the matter should be reported.


As mentioned by 3Boys, you could email the teacher to inform her of what has come to your attention. This will reduce the stress on your daughter that she is the \"squealer\" if she was to approach the teacher directly.

On one hand, the boy who \"cheats\" must be taught that what he did was wrong. If his behaviour is not corrected, he would think that he can get away with this bad behaviour.

On the other hand, to give this boy benefit of doubt, perhaps he may not even realise that what he did was cheating - as obvious as the act is to all of us. It may be a case that he forgot how to spell the word and he just took out that piece of paper to copy out the words.

In fact, a similar thing happened with DD1 when she was in P1 years ago. In her 1st spelling test, she forgot how to spell a word, reached down to her school bag, calmly fished out her pocket dictionary and then checked on the spelling - in full view of the teacher. :faint: When the teacher and I questioned her, she replied, \"But mommy, u always ask me to check the dictionary if i cannot remember how to spell the word.\" :faint: :faint: :stupid:

Needless to say, we corrected her actions and told her that what she did was wrong and inappropriate. She never made the same mistake ever since. The teacher acknowledged that it was her 1st month in P1 and may not know any better.

So, whether the boy was really cheating or it's a genuine mistake, it is important to keep the teacher informed and have the teacher tell that boy and his parents that what he did was wrong.

JMHO :lol: :lol:

[2ppaamm]

If my child came back with this same story, I’d be just as lost too. It really depends on so many things:

1. Is that boy a big boy and could single out my child to bully?
2. Will the other witness co-operate (unlikely - since she asked your child to keep quiet)
3. Will the teacher be receptive enough to believe me?
4. What should I teach my child?

Like the rest, I’d likely focus on (4). If there’s a PTA coming up, I’d likely mention this in passing to the teacher, instead of making a big issue out of it. Afterall, I’d be more concerned about the welfare of my child, and not whether she was fairly treated or not, or whether the other kid got punished or not:
1. That she be taught the right values and
2. She not be a target of bully

The biggest lesson? Life may not necessarily be fair.

The other child?.. err sorry… his parents will have to do the teaching.

[146946]

Thanks for all your advise /views. Yah, agree I should inform the teacher, and I will if it happens again, becos, as mentioned by 'schweppes', it might have been a genuine mistake. Maybe the boy did not realise what is the meaning of spelling test since it's his 1st.