In-law problems?

[auntieM]

Quite amazing you are able to put up with all these on going day in day out.

Your MIL should wake up her idea really.
How can your hubby tahan all this going on around him??

My ILs came up with very very ‘orbit’ name. The first grandson they named didn’t turn out to be ‘blessed’ at all n guess my hubby rather pang tang too.

[tree nymph]

auntieM,

I'm really amazed at myself too you know. i never knew that i can ren ren ren! maybe secretly i like to torture myself??

:?

[Augmum]

tree nymph, u really can ren, yr poor son , kena caned just becos of he din called "ah mah"…


how abt yr hub???..din he come to his son "rescue"

[auntieM]

Hey Tree nymph, please dun ever take it out on the little one, ...

Can I try cheer you up a little with my answer

If I am her DIL......
- Will buy a few weird books to put around the house. Like Blackmagic stuff, How to stay sane...
- Wear green lipstick in the house occasionally.Without scaring little 1.
- Behave in a manner that irritates her. Make her repeat her naggings,
smile when you are not suppose to. Give silly/out of topic answers to her ridiculous demands.
............................For me at least in all misery I can still cheer myself up.

[tree nymph]

Augmum

hb is no help at all... he is really afraid of his mum! so between facing his mum and telling no to her face, he rather i cane the boy.

very sickening hor...???

auntieM,
my MIL is those one cry, two throw tanthems, three hang herself type... my hb and his father are all afraid of her.

But i've promised myself that i will never cane my kids anymore for not addressing her. no matter what kind of daunting names she calls me or what kind of sacarstic remark she made will not make me feel like i have to cane them to satisfy her. I regretted so much for canning the little boy! and just to satisfy her!!! :x

[3Boys]

tree nymph,

phew, quite a situation you’ve got there! Yeah, agree with the rest, you need to stand firm on issues regarding your kids.

[Andaiz]

tree nymph:

But i've promised myself that i will never cane my kids anymore for not addressing her. no matter what kind of daunting names she calls me or what kind of sacarstic remark she made will not make me feel like i have to cane them to satisfy her. I regretted so much for canning the little boy! and just to satisfy her!!! :x

:ugogirl: yep, tree nymph...NEVER take it out on the kids just to satisfy MIL. It'd only give her an upper hand - and like teaching our kids, encourage her to continue in her rampage against you!

Take heart, you are on the right track! :celebrate:

Love,
Another long-suffering DIL

[ponyo]

Hi tree nymph,


Sorry to hear of your problems. Really are like the long suffering DIL in those yue yu chan pian....you know those black and white kind where they always play this classical piece at the climax of the suffering:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXuzLRVi6qk

No trying to make light of your situation, but hopefully, can elicit a smile from you

Tho MIL is not as nasty as yours, I do have my fair share of conflicts with her esp when #1 was just born. Have learn to change my perspective (to preserve my own sanity) and see things from her point of view. Whether i agree with it is another matter but at least it's a way for me to rationalise her sometimes irrational behaviour. Hope you can try that too.

Can only thank God that am not staying with her as MIL herself is a victim of a bullied DIL in her younger days and she knows she has an extremely bad temper that perhaps only her own daughter can withstand so it was mutually agreed that we live near each other but not with each other...heng!

[janet88]

Hi Ladies,


Oh dear, to think you have suffered all these.
I refuse ‘honey honey’ with my PIL or they will climb on top of my head. My son at 10 knows how fake they are…I don’t brainwash him. I never stop hubby from going back to see them, but do not expect me to go along.

[buds]

auntieM:

Thx buds, swear stories all real oki :lol:.

Funny lay you. :lol:

auntieM:

Luckily I am staying with my own parents now.

Your own familiar territory mah.. so safer ground lah.

Your hubby okay with your side of the family?

auntieM:

My FIL said 'oh damn shit' when my hubby told him I am pregnant with a boy. How to forget such incidents?

About the \"damn shit\" part... :idea:

My FIL has a habit of spouting bad words.
Not that he's a bad person.. he just likes
to curse. In every line of conversation, he
will utter one bad word. And living with them
makes it hard for me to cover my children's
ears all the time cos it's like breathing to him.
Habitual trait since his growing years.

I had stinging hearing from all these years
being in the same house with him. He can do
it in sooooo many different dialects & languages!
I made sure i hmmph my unhappiness each time
he uttered one and will bring my kiddies away
from that conversation. He sensed that i was
really uptight about it and made effort to say
it less. He told hubs openly in front of me...
\"So difficult lah your wife and her family from
Shakespearean era... I hafta watch how i speak
each time in her presence. And her English so
Queens! I don't even understand what the kids
are saying. Their English is bombastic!\" At this,
i remember hubs answering as a matter of factly
that he can just speak as for normal minus the bad
words, that's all... and that he minds that the kiddies
are exposed to it too. So in short he just told his dad
cheekily to bite his tongue on the not-so-nice words..

On my end, i just tell the children that the words don't
mean very nice things hence it isn't nice to say them..
until today.

auntieM:

I am just trying to tell part of my story in a lighter manner, not in anyway trying to make ILs look bad

Uh-huh.. we don't want that do we? :rotflmao:

All we want is some TLC... tender... loving... care...
Just like our own mother would... especially for DILs
still living with the ILs, the ILs should cut the crap abt
any nonsensical ideas of us stealing their sons and all
that insinuations.. We are still practically living under
the same roof NOW! What's there for us to steal?
They're stealing our happy lives from us rather... the
lives that we could've have chosen to lead from the
beginning of marriage had we insistently chose to.

They say, if you have a daughter and she gets married,
you gain a son. Doesn't it hafta be vice versa that when
their son got married, the ILs / MILs gained a daughter?
Or perhaps they dun need daughters & dun care if they
gained one for that matter!

Stay together fine lah.. just dun give us problem lah!