In-law problems?

[buds]

tree nymph:

MIL is not so stingy on buying stuff for the kiddo. clothes from salvation army, is only $2 per piece, so cheap and still very good and new hor... its ok for me lah, i will still let the kids wear. cannot complain on this.

Dis part, i dun mind oso.. as long as the material isn't something
gawdy or scratchy, cos as much as i hate to say it... my girls sorta
have those kinda expensive skin type. ie. SENSITIVE SKIN. :lol:

I go by the mantra : value for money.

[orangeme]

janet_lee88:

Hi Ladies,


Oh dear, to think you have suffered all these.
I refuse 'honey honey' with my PIL or they will climb on top of my head. My son at 10 knows how fake they are...I don't brainwash him. I never stop hubby from going back to see them, but do not expect me to go along.

Hi ladies,

So sorry to hear all these sufferings here...
tree nymph, bite yr teeth and do what you think is right, we're after all the parent of the child and shd have the final say.

Thumbs up : for not going to cane him anymore for silly things like that (i got a feeling that the little boy (apart from his bad moments that day) maybe also doesn't like his a mah :evil: hahaha, kids know the BEST! of course, the a mah didn't treat his dear mummy well what, and don't be surprised kids are very sensitive and is it this 'mu zi lian xin'??) Your heart must have torn apart when the cane landed on him, poor boy & mum!

I am so glad that i don't have to stay with my ILs but my hubby being the only son (he has a younger sis who is still single and staying with them), i guess that i have to face 'reality' when they are too old to look after themselves - we have to play our part lor....

i always jokingly tell hubby that i am counting down to the no. of good days that we've left... they're both in the early 60s now so ....*counting*

[tree nymph]

orangeme,

thanks! but not all in-laws the same. some are really nice. i guess it all depends on the personality and characters. If you read the earlier posts, there’s one son who has layed down the ground rules and I think that is a very good way to start things. My MIL is very used to having things done in HER WAY, HER TIME, HER STYLE and HER LAST SAY in things, so when I wanna teach my kids my way and have the last say with my kids, she cannot tahan. She kept telling me that why is it everything has to do my way, why I must have the last say, why I must win all the time… hmmm, I mean, why not? They are my kids and I’m directly responsible to them and their actions!

[buds]

orangeme:

i always jokingly tell hubby that i am counting down to the no. of good days that we've left... they're both in the early 60s now so ....*counting*

:rotflmao:

You're killing my insides with this one, orangeme!
Truly killing! :rotflmao:

But hey, alert old folks last longer!
Look at our SM, he is on a roll! :salute:

[auntieM]

buds:

auntieM, guess as an only child either

you stay on your own or stay with yer
own parents would be the most ideal
arrangement in your case.. :celebrate:

Well, you're one of the few lucky ones
who managed to get out of the rut, aye!

Your hubby understands your tension
with his mommy?

Yes, he does. Just that we dun talk about it anymore. He hears enough drama and gossip from others too.... I just play my part at makan sessions nowadays. Sometimes we dun see PILs for 2 months and my hubby will just say he is busy when MIL call for gathering. Most of the pek chek incidents happened last time. That's why I can look at things from funnier side.He is not that close to MIL, and probably seen enough bullying..... I am quite lucky to have my hubby's 'quiet' understanding.

[Andaiz]

orangeme:

i always jokingly tell hubby that i am counting down to the no. of good days that we've left... they're both in the early 60s now so ....*counting*

buds:

:rotflmao:

You're killing my insides with this one, orangeme!
Truly killing! :rotflmao:

But hey, alert old folks last longer!
Look at our SM, he is on a roll! :salute:

I was going to say MM lagi tok gong...close to 90 still terribly alert :salute: and nimble leh...puts some of us to shame :oops:

Not sure too if that's why some of our outlaws here... have to find a focus. Coz nothing else to do but think through their plans again and again and again...just so egging us on coz that's where they FOCUS their attention on.

DH just fetched MIL home and he's just complaining that she's talking non-stop about his brother....sigh! She does the same to SIL and BIL (i.e., talk about DH, myself and the kids) so now our stance with BIL/SIL is to say to her the same thing \"mum, we don't want to know about what is happening in their household. If need to, we pray, not healthy to compare cos we are all different\"

[Funz]

auntieM:

Yes, he does. Just that we dun talk about it anymore. He hears enough drama and gossip from others too.... I just play my part at makan sessions nowadays. Sometimes we dun see PILs for 2 months and my hubby will just say he is busy when MIL call for gathering. Most of the pek chek incidents happened last time. That's why I can look at things from funnier side.He is not that close to MIL, and probably seen enough bullying..... I am quite lucky to have my hubby's 'quiet' understanding.

:celebrate:

Same for me. We don't live together so it makes things a lot easier. And DH also started seeing through more of his mum's 'tricks' to which he was blind to last time. Latest one was how she played him and SIL against FIL. There will be times when DH will feel guilty for not spending more time or giving PILs more attention and will suggest doing something for them. But he will usually drop the idea for fear of inviting problems. His method of handling his parents is to limit contact to the bare necessity. Not ideal or some might say so unfilial but with PILs, to maintain harmony, that is the best method.

[buds]

auntieM:

I am quite lucky to have my hubby's 'quiet' understanding.

You definitely are, auntieM.. :celebrate:

[buds]

Andaiz:

orangeme:

i always jokingly tell hubby that i am counting down to the no. of good days that we've left... they're both in the early 60s now so ....*counting*

buds:

:rotflmao:

You're killing my insides with this one, orangeme!
Truly killing! :rotflmao:

But hey, alert old folks last longer!
Look at our SM, he is on a roll! :salute:

I was going to say MM lagi tok gong...close to 90 still terribly alert :salute: and nimble leh...puts some of us to shame :oops:

Paiseh paiseh... i meant MM! Wah lah... slip on the tongues.
Wagging too much about ILs until slip. :oops: Sollie! :salute:

[buds]

lovekidsverymuch:

Have joined in new and I was amazed to notice that I am not the only one having problems with our PIL.. it feels so better now that there are ppl with me in the same boat

Welcome my dear. :lol:
Not that it's a good thing la..
Cause automatically we know you got
something to tell from your side.. But so
new oredi start here arh.. Hehee.. :siam:
I'm sure ya got lots to share here.. :evil:

lovekidsverymuch:

We are staying with our PIL's cause DH is the only son no brothers and no sisters so that makes our PIL by default choice to stay with us..

Wuah-seh.. By default this wan! :rotflmao:

lovekidsverymuch:

My MIL is very interfering types and she interferes on each n every thing bout DH and me and my kids oso... Can u imagine wat kinda clothes my DH should wear oso..

Mummy's boy kind issit...

lovekidsverymuch:

We always had fights on every possible thing in this world and FIL is always supporting her DH also cannot support me cause she very dominating...

Now have totally stopped talking to her my funda if no talks means no arguments means no fights since kids are now growing up they see and they watch..

If need any talkings make DH or the helper the mediator... there are so many instances which I have faced maybe the space here also will be less hahahaha

Enough space to share with all.
We learn from one another's experience
as much as we do seem to bitch a lot about
it. I find solace in knowing i ain't alone in this
saga too. Not only Twilight got saga ya know.. :politebleah: