In-law problems?
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tree nymph:
DH left for business trip thinking his mum (with the maid) will get stuff for the confinement nanny to cook. Anyway, that is what his mum said she would in front of DH and FIL mah. I must add that his mum has her own car.[/quote]Tree nymph, you are really responsible, you know? :love: I'd have made her call for delivery if she's (MIL) too busy to do so. Having to go to the supermarket (chui feng)insider:
[quote=\"tree nymph\"]10kg a pack and i need to get 2 packs.
Errr...where's your hubby all this while during that time. Should have just given him a list and get all the stuff? I cannot imagine he also allowed you to go through the chore...
plus carrying those loads ain't funny! 
She's not Chinese or doesn't respect CONFINEMENT period?! -
tree nymph:
DH left for business trip thinking his mum (with the maid) will get stuff for the confinement nanny to cook. Anyway, that is what his mum said she would in front of DH and FIL mah. I must add that his mum has her own car.[/quote]Wow... no kidding, this mil. If she can let you handle such thing in confinement month and on day 5 after delivery, I can't imagine the challenges you are facing in daily life... Stay strong, tree nymph!insider:
[quote=\"tree nymph\"]10kg a pack and i need to get 2 packs.
Errr...where's your hubby all this while during that time. Should have just given him a list and get all the stuff? I cannot imagine he also allowed you to go through the chore...
( :idea: If I were you, I wld not do it. I will call up my brothers or other own family members or friends to help me and deliver to me... )
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2nd confinement, she said she needs the maid to do something for her, so i need to buy the rice myself. even though my confinement nanny wanted to come with me to help out, i wanted her to look after the baby in the house. I also thought i can handle mah, who knows...
3rd confinement, i got the maid to help me carry. But be out on your feet and doing stuff is also not so good. I do feel dizzy and very tired after getting home. Anyway, after that, i still need to go marketing every other day else got no food in the house. marketing - i do for the whole family, not just food for myself. On the 2nd week, i twisted my back from lifting and carrying too much and not enough rest. I can't sit up from laying down and can't stand up from sitting down. i walked on a S-shape posture - no joke, and its a pain every step i made. saw the doc and it took me one week to recover.
Anyway, this is what happened in the past liao. But i can't let go completely. I know I can't depend on MIL to help me, she has her own life too but I sometimes question this kind of actions lor. I see most of my friends' MILs, no matter how the relationship is with their DIL, they will still help to do some of the marketing during their confinement period. even though they don't live together, they will still bring the stuff to the house for the nanny to cook. While i have to go do the marketing for the WHOLE FAMILY, and we do stay under one roof.
Maybe MIL thinks confinement if for MIL to rest at home while the one just given birth got to do all the chores??
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tree nymph:
tree nymph, I applaud your tenacity and good naturedness! You hang in there...there's light at the end of the tunnel; and YES, #4 would be tough in this circumstance! :love: :hugs:Anyway, this is what happened in the past liao. But i can't let go completely. I know I can't depend on MIL to help me, she has her own life too but I sometimes question this kind of actions lor. I see most of my friends' MILs, no matter how the relationship is with their DIL, they will still help to do some of the marketing during their confinement period. even though they don't live together, they will still bring the stuff to the house for the nanny to cook. While i have to go do the marketing for the WHOLE FAMILY, and we do stay under one roof.
Maybe MIL thinks confinement if for MIL to rest at home while the one just given birth got to do all the chores??
:? -
Andaiz:
tree nymph, I applaud your tenacity and good naturedness! You hang in there...there's light at the end of the tunnel; and YES, #4 would be tough in this circumstance! :love: :hugs:
Thanks Andaiz, your comforting words brought tears to my eyes! :love: -
Andaiz:
Tree nymph, you are really responsible, you know? :love: I'd have made her call for delivery if she's (MIL) too busy to do so. Having to go to the supermarket (chui feng)
plus carrying those loads ain't funny!
She's not Chinese or doesn't respect CONFINEMENT period?!
tree nymph,
Am really shocked :!: that you had to run errands and that too carry heavy stuff.
I remember after delivering my DS (one child), physically I was extremely extremely exhausted .... I don't know how you could have done it ...
Anyway, 'confinement period' is also practiced among the other races too and it is followed through unless the individual chooses not to lah ...
tree nymph, you have your 3 kids to look out for now ... so stay strong for them okie ... :love:
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tree nymph:
Wow, tree nymph, I really applaud you. My parents kept reminding me that I have to LIE down - cannot even sit. And lucky they were very loud about that requirement. Sorry to add fuel to fire, but I'm sure your MIL should have known better. Siao arh....10kg of rice....
Anyway, this is what happened in the past liao. But i can't let go completely. I know I can't depend on MIL to help me, she has her own life too but I sometimes question this kind of actions lor. I see most of my friends' MILs, no matter how the relationship is with their DIL, they will still help to do some of the marketing during their confinement period. even though they don't live together, they will still bring the stuff to the house for the nanny to cook. While i have to go do the marketing for the WHOLE FAMILY, and we do stay under one roof.
Maybe MIL thinks confinement if for MIL to rest at home while the one just given birth got to do all the chores??
:?
When I was 8 months preggy, I went to Chinatown to buy bak kwa...was fuming that MIL/SIL could ask me to help buy more kgs of bak kwa....OEI, big tummy and gotta take mrt back, no hubby to help (workday- I was on leave). Fuming like mad that they buey paiseh....but at least I didn't kena during confinement. -
hquek:
Wow, tree nymph, I really applaud you. My parents kept reminding me that I have to LIE down - cannot even sit..
Reminds me of a song i learnt in primary school.
Planting rice is never fun,
Bent from morning, dusk to dawn, (dis part not so sure..)
Cannot stand and cannot sit, cannot rest a little bit. :politebleah: -
buds:
hquek:
Wow, tree nymph, I really applaud you. My parents kept reminding me that I have to LIE down - cannot even sit..
Reminds me of a song i learnt in primary school.
Planting rice is never fun,
Bent from morning, dusk to dawn, (dis part not so sure..)
Cannot stand and cannot sit, cannot rest a little bit. :politebleah:
I remember THIS song too ...
Aiyoh ... same era :lol: -
Dear tree nymph, I really "pei fu" your ability to ren ren ren… Did u tell your hubby? I also lived with my MIL when I got married. 1st yr was OK until I gave birth to my DD. Too much conflicts & interferance. Eg. she carry my baby girl & fry fish at the same time. She use any cooking pot (oily) to sterilize baby milk bottles. She got up as early as 6 a.m. to "cha cha cha" heat up the leftover food. I got crazy & started scolding her :x :x :x I know I was being disrespectful but I din regret what I did. I told her son (my DH) that we MUST move out. His mother cried but I insisted. I won’t pray for anything to happen. I want a HDB application IMMEDIATELY. A year later, we moved out but MIL continue to look after my DD & subsequently my DS. Come to think of it, our relationship actually got better after we moved out. So tree nymph, I hope u can move out soon too. Good luck.
To add on, now I tell my own mother :"don’t expect to live with didi and his wife. u will suffer (become their maid). Best is just live nearby but never under one roof."
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