How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you?

[2ppaamm]

tamarind:

I agree with 2ppaamm.


My girl is in P1 now, she almost have no homework from school. I have only bought her one Chinese assessment book. She does not have any tuition or enrichment classes except her piano class.

I don't believe in using assessment books to teach. I believe in reading as widely as possible. My homework for her is to read Matilda by Roald Dahl, which she enjoys very much, and also to read a few pages from a Chinese chapter book. After that she has a lot of time to do whatever she likes. She loves to draw and do paper craft. She likes to bake cupcakes, make her own jewelery, and now I am teaching her how to sew cloth bags.

Parents need to know the right method to use, and not just keep stuffing kids with assessment books. In fact, I looked at the some of the assessment books, and I am surprised at how badly written some of these books are. Kids should learn by reading good books written by the great authors, not by doing assessment books. My girl has learned far more vocabulary, better grammar and comprehension, as well as general knowledge by reading all the wonderful children's classics, and more importantly, she has a lot of fun in reading these books

Wow! I admire your way of teaching... keep at it! I'm sure your daughter will grow up a very happy child.

[autumnbronze]

Blobbi:

Hugs to you guys, Tutormom and Autumnbronze. You have taken on a moral burden that is beyond your call of duty. You guys gladly do it, but it is heavy.


What is quite true is that children especially as they grow up, will need role models and mentors, whether from within the family or not. Teachers and tutors often fulfill this role because of the position of authority, and if they have empathy for the child, it is easy to see how the relationship can develop.

BUT, no ousider should be the rock of a child's emotional life. I really can't understand why parents would relinquish this role ... Yes, parenting is hard, but giving up is completely unthinkable.

I saw this ad in a parenting talk and it brought tears to my eyes. I don't want to be thinking these things when my time is up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1hu7ZBHAqs

THANK YOU Blobbi, for sharing this clip. IT brought tears to my eyes too, though the v last bit about the insurance was an anti-climax :roll: Didn't anticipate that

If you don't mind me saying, I view it as a moral 'responsibility'. One other reason is also because I did not come from a nurturing family backgrd. Its left a huge impact on me. What I am today ie qualifications, achievements etc... is sad and not so sad (if you know what I mean) largely due to me, DH and ILs. The emotional stability I did not get at home, I instead got it unconditionally from DH.

Its a miracle that I always had this sense of how shd I say it, \"righteousness\" that prevented me from indulging in stuff during my teens/impressionable years. So, when my peers were experimenting, I chose not to. Its also a god-send that I met my DH when I was 19

2ppaamm:

Thanks for posting the commercial. How true. Sometimes, we just forget that our time is just limited with our kids. Every time I bid goodbye to my kids as I see them walking to the hall for assembly, this ABBA song will play in my heart:

Here's the youtube video (used to watch this one everyday for a whole year when I was in sec school) :D:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNaNVuWes_U

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

2ppaam,

Aiyoh, tears again lah .... somemore not even suffering from PMS

Thank you for sharing. Actually am an ABBA fan. Have their DVD and CD. Must go check if I have the song cuz I really can't remember ever hearing this song :oops: :oops:

[2ppaamm]

autumnbronze:

If you don't mind me saying, I view it as a moral 'responsibility'. One other reason is also because I did not come from a nurturing family backgrd. Its left a huge impact on me. What I am today ie qualifications, achievements etc... is sad and not so sad (if you know what I mean) largely due to me, DH and ILs. The emotional stability I did not get at home, I instead got it unconditionally from DH.


Its a miracle that I always had this sense of how shd I say it, \"righteousness\" that prevented me from indulging in stuff during my teens/impressionable years. So, when my peers were experimenting, I chose not to. Its also a god-send that I met my DH when I was 19

And there will be many amongst our children who will not come from nurturing families simply because their parents have to work, make a living, or they simply come from broken homes. Our kids are blessed in their ways.

I am also one who benefited from DH's kindness and stability. It is now my responsibility to nurture a few more good lives in my children, so that they in turn will help their spouses and create good families. That's one of the wishes I have for my children. My little contribution to this already corrupted world...

[Blobbi]

True, Autumnbronze, moral responsibility is a better word.


2ppaamm, so true. I'm too idealistic sometimes ...

[2ppaamm]

Blobbi:

True, Autumnbronze, moral responsibility is a better word.


2ppaamm, so true. I'm too idealistic sometimes ...

So you see, many of us give up our careers or put our careers at a standstill nurturing a family is NOT wasting anything. In fact, we are building something so important that many policy makers fail to see. We are nurturing the next generation of leaders who are stable, trust worthy and reliable. Not just walking calculators.

Actually gahmen should really look into this rather than encouraging more and more women to work, and less and less children being nurtured properly...

Oops, do I sound how lian now? :roll:

[2ppaamm]

Some years ago, I like to patronize this duck rice stall opposite world trade centre. This husband and wife team cook one of the best duck rice in town (go visit it!).


Their kids are about my kids’ age. And the hubby used to be quite how lian about his kids’ height, and said that my kids are short. I brushed that off lah, since I am taller than him, I believe my kids will catch up one day. He is actually a nice person, he told me my kids were short so that I can do something about it - play basketball. This lousy mum never had the time to do that.

Then, I remember one of his kids received her PSLE results, it was in the range of 150-200. You can see the pride in their eyes, and they are happy that the kid can get to this relatively good neighbourhood sec school, and that he had to take time off from his stall to visit the principal and discuss the future of his child. He was full of hope.

As I spoke to this proud father, some sadness sank into my heart. What choice did he have? He needed to make a living standing by his stall from morning till late. His wife, too. So options did he have? How would he know what his children were up to when both the parents are not at home? How will they be nurtured? The only way he could know they were doing well, was that they were growing taller day by day.

Then, it hit me, didn’t he represent the majority of Singapore?

I will visit him this week. His child should be sitting for "O" levels this year. I hope the kid can do well in school besides growing taller.

[Blobbi]

Wah 2ppaamm, this story is very hard hitting and very sad. I'm so glad I quit my full time job... At the time, I was forced to, but I'm so glad it turned out the way it did. I see a lot of my friends trapped in the cycle - the money is too good to give up, so the kids pay the price.

[tankee]

Blobbi:

....I saw this ad in a parenting talk and it brought tears to my eyes. I don't want to be thinking these things when my time is up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1hu7ZBHAqs

thanks for sharing. Nice video.

[2ppaamm]

Blobbi:

Wah 2ppaamm, this story is very hard hitting and very sad. I'm so glad I quit my full time job... At the time, I was forced to, but I'm so glad it turned out the way it did. I see a lot of my friends trapped in the cycle - the money is too good to give up, so the kids pay the price.

I was also forced to 'retire' early. My father-in-law passed on suddenly and I had to give my CEO job and settle for something simpler that gives my family more time.

Since we are at the topic, yes sometimes people how lian, but a lot of times it is because they are ignorant in their small little worlds. And if we dig deep enough, there's so much these folks and we can gain if we were to judge them just a little less.

Heh heh, I think my son and daughter all grew taller than his kids now. Genes always works wonders! :evil:

[jedamum]

2ppaamm:

sometimes people how lian, but a lot of times it is because they are ignorant in their small little worlds. And if we dig deep enough, there's so much these folks and we can gain if we were to judge them just a little less.

:goodpost: