In-law problems?
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Aiyoh, ILs are the most sensitive issues in my household. I have learnt to shut up and not talk about any of my ILs, because it always ends up unhappy.
I'll never stay with MIL. She's a good person, but I'm better off having the house to myself, and scream all I want at the kids, scold the maids (when I had them), laugh at my husband. And make my own decision whether or not I like to wash my feet. Also hate that MIL like to compare herself with me. I think a bit siao. :siao:
Compare my nails with her nails, compare my manicure with hers, compare how many kids (I have more lah), compare how well she can cook (I can bake she cannot lah), compare how much her son loves her more than me (she has to be disappointed ):P , compare this compare that. Fed up!
I'd rather have my own life, and see MIL once every CNY. -
lovekidsverymuch:
not long post dear... I guess the best thing bout it is that you are vvvvvvv far from her and chances of her coming to you is very remote so thats good news right...
Yes, you cannot imagine how lucky you are to be so far away..
But i can understand where you're coming from. Most of my MIL's
antics are from some time back. But the pain and the sadness have
always had that biting and aching feeling when it resurfaces in my thots
especially when i have a bad time or patch with hubs.. i wonder if all this
time, my enduring was worth it. Dun get love from them is one thing as
long as we feel the love with our hubs. But if hubs oso give problem and
not understanding, it really takes a toll on us. Worse still ignore home
problems and stay out from the house to avoid the issues. :roll:lovekidsverymuch:
Not enough cursing you and your life being in your house, she even cursedanyways my MIL also keep cursing me that the way I am not behaving well with them (i really dont know wat I have done bad with them other then asking them to give me some space in my house with my kids and DH) since I have 2 sons both my future DIL will not behave well with me :stupid:
your future generation and future life? Wow. Really biting.. I feel you, girl. -
tree nymph:
Move out, move out. It can only do good to the relationship. I think I made the big mistake of staying with my ILs early in my marriage. It really left some scars on the relationship. Every quarrel is over the ILs. So sick!minnie2004,
no lah, don't think of the orphaned hb lah. its very sad to grow up without parents.
i'm also fighting to move out. no sucess yet, but first of all, i've got to get a place. looking now -
2ppaamm:
Aiyoh, ILs are the most sensitive issues in my household. I have learnt to shut up and not talk about any of my ILs, because it always ends up unhappy.
I'll never stay with MIL. She's a good person, but I'm better off having the house to myself, and scream all I want at the kids, scold the maids (when I had them), laugh at my husband. And make my own decision whether or not I like to wash my feet. Also hate that MIL like to compare herself with me. I think a bit siao. :siao: [quote]
I get where you're getting at. It is :sick: really..
I totally get the whole of paragraph 2 cos mine's just like that.
I cannot scold my own kids. I'd be deemed a monster and she'll
come interfere to so call be the goody one who says i'll kill the monster
for you. :x Even my own husband doesn't interfere when i'm disciplining
or if i like screaming at my kids.
She tried comparing once with regards to discipline. Said she was never
like screaming, or threatening... she wud just take away privileges and
stuff her kids liked. My husband scoffed at that and said, he was chased
with a plastic hose around the village... and she would only be satisfied
if she got at least one stroke... and here i am being made to look like da
monster. Ya. You're rite 2ppaamm, it is :siao: -
minnie2004:
thanks pecalis. i feel better just by talking about it.
I hear ya, minnie! :hugs: -
Haiz, how come MILs are all so difficult har, Buds?
When I grow up, my ambition is to be a good MIL. I told my sons and daughters they can leave all the kids to me, and they can go to work. They can go and travel. Hope I can make a difference.
Why do MILs like to compare? Different generation, different circumstances mah... At one time, my hubby thought I was jealous of his mum. I thought how funny?! She was the one jealous! I'm the one with the education, with the kids, with HER son. The son also became siao :siao: after the stress got into him. :lol: Luckily, now I only see her during CNY, and when I need her help, I yell, she still allows the kids to stay at her house once in a while. -
2ppaamm:
She was the one jealous! I'm the one with the education, with the kids, with HER son. .
This is usually the root of the problem especially a very capable DIL. Just gotta understand and get used to it.
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In reference to the why they like to make things difficult and why they like
to compare, to speak for my own MIL experience quote, "I’ve raised my
son for 20 over years and i know him best. No one… i repeat no one will
and can take care of him like how i did. YOU here can’t even make decent
coffee. And you should already know my son can’t do without his coffee."
As i went about making him a cuppa, she lashed, "Forget it. I’ll make
coffee for MY family, the way they have always loved it. Whatcha waiting
for? Get out of my kitchen & get on outside (to the living room where hubs
was waiting for my coffee) I’ll do it." Unquote.
I will NEVER forget this. Cos this happened after we came back from our
honeymoon. So, the phrase honeymoon’s over is so apt in my case. No,
that phrase doesn’t just apply to our children relaxing in their studies… -
buds, yah - same as you, on one hand, we know we have to be filial, cos we are brought up this way, on the other hand, we just want to rid them off, just to save our own sanity... how?
i really think MIL does not accept us into their hearts at all. else why are they like that? I want to treat her like how I treat my own mother, but there's also dis-satisfaction in her part. I tell you, I really do think that I treat her better then how her own daughter treats her... but still.... realy :stupid:
i think we should get another place... even if we treat it like our weekend home is better then to live with them 24/7! -
ks2me:
Exactly, hence the built-in hatred toward DILs. Also they don't appreciate a highly educated DIL. They want them to fall into the traditional role of a submissive woman who cooks, takes care of everyone in the family. They don't care how successful you are in your career. In fact they don't care about you at all. As long as you don't clean and cook (which the maid can do it better and cheaper), you're not qualified as a good DIL.2ppaamm:
She was the one jealous! I'm the one with the education, with the kids, with HER son. .
This is usually the root of the problem especially a very capable DIL. Just gotta understand and get used to it.
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