Changes In Children

[OngMum]

Hi, I would like to hear/seek advice from you, parents.


My daughter is sitting for PSLE this year. Last evening, I was checking thru her homework and spotted some errors. I observed her displeasure look and she told me, "Mum, can you don’t check my homework?" I was taken aback as it has been my "role" to vet thru her homework since she started school in P1. She added on that most of her classmates’ parents did not take this approach. I wonder how true it can be. I told her, the purpose for me to vet thru her homework is to ensure she has no errors and at the same time, to take note which are the weak areas she is having.

I am not too sure what have triggered her displeasure. Does anyone encounter similar case like this? Thanks.

[daisyt]

OngMum:

Hi, I would like to hear/seek advice from you, parents.


My daughter is sitting for PSLE this year. Last evening, I was checking thru her homework and spotted some errors. I observed her displeasure look and she told me, \"Mum, can you don't check my homework?\" I was taken aback as it has been my \"role\" to vet thru her homework since she started school in P1. She added on that most of her classmates' parents did not take this approach. I wonder how true it can be. I told her, the purpose for me to vet thru her homework is to ensure she has no errors and at the same time, to take note which are the weak areas she is having.

I am not too sure what have triggered her displeasure. Does anyone encounter similar case like this? Thanks.

At this age, they think they have grown up and checking homework is for kiddy and childish. My dd is 14 and I still check her work. My purpose of checking is to understand what is she learning so that I can help her look out for guide books, related story books, related articles on newspaper or magazine and related documentary shows on TV. We also enjoy discussing the topics she is studying now.

[2ppaamm]

Actually, I don't check through my kids' work since they were in lower primary, and it seems ok. They will make mistakes which is fine with me, and then they do the corrections. When they get to secondary school, they are very independent, and I do not need to check if they have done their homework, or what exams they have. Pretty much auto pilot. I guess it really depends when you want to cut the control.


Sooner or later, you'll need to do that. For me, the earlier the better because I have so many children...

[Bear.014745w.014745me]

My 3 children are all different in character so I have to adopt different approaches.


One needs close monitoring; one needs to let her be (but now is the problem one) and one needs to be gentle and soft else she will behave like OngMum's child.

Anyway, educating and raising up children is rather tiring process. Our hope is for them to grow up well and able to be 'independent'

Looking forward, Singapore and global economic landscape outlook can only be more challenging for our next generation. Knowledge and skills may not be the only competitive advantage (not to mention the lack of it)...perhaps sports or artistic talents would prevail? :?

[MLR]

3+ yo DS has a adverse reaction to colouring.

Everytime I stuck a crayon/colour pencil in his hand or even the mere mention of colouring sent him into \"NO!NO!NO! I don't want colouring, I can't do it...\" or worst, he would closes his eyes and weep.

Today i went and bought some colouring/activity book in Ben 10 theme (his current fav) and VOILA! After he shouted his thanks to me, ran into his room, took out his crayons and started colouring. Amazing :shock: , the influence of tv.

I hv mixed feelings about the whole situation. I m glad I managed to get him interested in doing some colouring, but totally shocked about the influence of his fav Ben 10 has on him.... Any views on this? Pls share....
TIA

[Bear.014745w.014745me]

I think yours is the case of going along with what he likes. Glad that you find the fix so soon. It is a good way to start.


A word of caution though, we need to instill the value that there are things in life that needs to be done/learnt (eventhough he may not like it) and there are things that everyone else likes to do like enjoying TV, books, games + computer and travelling.

So learning is about a total package of learning/doing things that he likes (eg. drawing, maths etc.) and things that he dislikes (eg. Chinese Language and dictations etc…) One can play hard but must also work/study hard.

[orchids]

daisyt:

At this age, they think they have grown up and checking homework is for kiddy and childish. My dd is 14 and I still check her work. My purpose of checking is to understand what is she learning so that I can help her look out for guide books, related story books, related articles on newspaper or magazine and related documentary shows on TV. We also enjoy discussing the topics she is studying now.

I've been guiding & checking my dd's sch work when she was in pri sch cos she often made silly mistakes. She in sec 1 this yr, and I hope to see more independent learning from her. As I foresee such transition takes time, I do occasionally remind her of homework deadlines.

However, I encountered the followings:
She misplaced her homework.
She lost her belongings at sch.
She forgot to submit her homework.

Are such behaviors common and how can I help her to be more mindful & careful other than keep reminding her and nagging at her?

[2ppaamm]

Orchids ds1 was like this, only worse. He’ll forget his work and tests and everything teacher told him. Even forget his shoes. Later I found out that he has this thing called executive function deficiency. Terribly disorganized without a good reason. Go surf and check if your child has this problem. It’s good to let teachers know so they can the child cope if she really has this disorder. Ds1 grew out of it by 15. But he did not Agree with the diagnosis. He brushes it off and said it is because he likes whAt he is doing now, that’s all.

[Fairy]

OngMum:

Hi, I would like to hear/seek advice from you, parents.


My daughter is sitting for PSLE this year. Last evening, I was checking thru her homework and spotted some errors. I observed her displeasure look and she told me, \"Mum, can you don't check my homework?\" I was taken aback as it has been my \"role\" to vet thru her homework since she started school in P1. She added on that most of her classmates' parents did not take this approach. I wonder how true it can be. I told her, the purpose for me to vet thru her homework is to ensure she has no errors and at the same time, to take note which are the weak areas she is having.

I am not too sure what have triggered her displeasure. Does anyone encounter similar case like this? Thanks.

I have not been in touch of what my kids homeworks were since they reached P4. In the first place, they were not very 'willing' to 'report' to me what the day's homework were. :x I can only remind them (I'm still doing it today and they're in Sec1 & 2) to check that they don't leave out any homework to be handed in the next day. Both my kids are quite independent and a bit individualistic. Every now and then I will flip through their files/books to have an idea of what they were doing at school. I do not expect their work to be error-free, neither do they. As early as p1, when I spotted lots of spelling errors in their journals, I only verbally highlight to them, did not insist they correct the errors. Did I do the right thing? :? My rationale was not to dampen their enthusiasm to write/learn. If we are so particular/uptight about small spelling errors/grammar, learning becomes a chore - hardwork, not fun anymore. Just recently, when I was about to discard my dd's P3 journal, I showed her all the hilarious spelling errors she made then. :lol: Both of them score A* for their Eng in their PSLE. So, don't worry too much about spelling errors lah...when they are interested in that subject, they will be more motivated to acquire higher order learning...spelling will take care of itself.

How we should manage our kids depends on their temperament and character. I adopted the laissez-faire management style because I have to. If your child is one who still likes to cling to your apron string, then you may have to guide her/him closely before letting go gradually. I have a friend whose child still needs to consult her for ideas/opinion for every composition (Chinese and English) homework at P6! :shock: Your daughter's displeasure is a sign that she does not like or is beginning to dislike to be monitored so closely, she wants some space. It's a good sign, really. You should be more worried if she is dependent on you to vet through all her work. Children at their Puberty stage is most difficult to handle. I understand what you're going through now as I am also in the same boat. I am still learning how to handle them best while trying to maintain my authority as a parent. Afterall, must not let them climb over my head, right?

[Fairy]

MLR:

3+ yo DS has a adverse reaction to colouring.

Everytime I stuck a crayon/colour pencil in his hand or even the mere mention of colouring sent him into \"NO!NO!NO! I don't want colouring, I can't do it...\" or worst, he would closes his eyes and weep.

Today i went and bought some colouring/activity book in Ben 10 theme (his current fav) and VOILA! After he shouted his thanks to me, ran into his room, took out his crayons and started colouring. Amazing :shock: , the influence of tv.

I hv mixed feelings about the whole situation. I m glad I managed to get him interested in doing some colouring, but totally shocked about the influence of his fav Ben 10 has on him.... Any views on this? Pls share....
TIA

I'm not surprised. Of course, learning MUST BE FUN mah. The trick is to disguise learning as some kind of FUN activities :lol: :lol: hee hee hee.
For young kids, it's not difficult to make up FUN activities. For the older kids, it's very difficult. Hopefully, self-motivation or the love for learning will kick in by then.

Watch this video and you'll know what I meant. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYBW43kmDjM