Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be ....

[Blobbi]

ooptimizer:

The problem with lending money to these friends it that:

1. It will only encourage them to pester you for more money, or.
2. They will avoid you like sharks to avoid paying you back.

So in the end, you will still lose this type of friends no matter what you do. So the better option is not to lend at all. Then you will only lose your friend, and not your money as well.

At the time, she had just emerged from a messy divorce and had to buy a flat for herself and two kids. Hubby paid partially for her flat although she had to throw in whatever she had (she was working PT, so not that much). Quite sad, but I could just fast forward and see that what you mentioned would happen. Anyway, she's a lot happier now (the hubby was a bum), so am glad everything ended well.

[autumnbronze]

hquek:

autumnbronze:

Neither borrowers nor lenders be

I think should add also, \"Nor a guarantor be\".

Heard too many cases where guarantors were held liable after the ones who borrowed money ran away...not talking about loan shark case, but even legal cases that were featured in papers.

hquek, thank you for the suggestion. Though being a guarantor can be said to be indirectly lending money. Will amend my first post

[MMM]

To be proactive, I would not lend $ to people or act as a guarantor.


Even if I lent, it depends on how close we are, the situation and it will be an amount that I am willing to write off. Eg. take it as doing "donation".

[autumnbronze]

ooptimizer:

The problem with lending money to these friends it that:

1. It will only encourage them to pester you for more money, or.
2. They will avoid you like sharks to avoid paying you back.

So in the end, you will still lose this type of friends no matter what you do. So the better option is not to lend at all. Then you will only lose your friend, and not your money as well.

I know someone whose uncle is like that. Always kena bailed out by the father in the past. Now in his almost 70s, still cannot hold down a job. Cannot support family. Go ard borrowing money to sustain himself. Got into trouble with loansharks. Kena bailed out by sons (one of whom is studying in poly and working to support himself). He will go to the extent of going to his son's frds, whom he has met once, just to give a sob story so as to borrow money.

Now, got someone from Batam somemore harrassing him for money. This person I know used to willingly give small amts to help out because he says that the uncle brought him up, was a loving fellow, in short, a good nurturer emotionally, so he can't say no. But the last straw was when HDB came hounding for non-payments. This was really too much bcuz the family was being affected. Somemore, the flat was partially paid up by uncle's mom. So the person I know gave him a gd shelling, albeit with a broken heart because he had had so much respect for the uncle. And told him good riddence (but in a nicer way lah).

To think that the uncle used to be a top insurance agent in the past, travelled extensively, owned a mercedes, owned 2 houses at one point of time :!:

Actually its quite sad ... if only the family had not been so accomodating to his bad habits ... and forced him to own up to his vice, so to speak.

[hquek]

well, family can be the worst ‘offenders’. I have relatives - parents’ siblings who would think nothing of borrowing from my parents. And then, make partial payment and happily forgot about the rest.


My parents use their hands and sweat to toil and earn those money. I cannot imagine how come some (only a few bad sheep - heng ah) can think to leech on them liddat.

Anyway, my parents have grown wiser and less accomodating…so those leeches have about disappeared from our lives. Quite sad when pp are so practical also - when the gravy train dries up, so do their visits.

[Funz]

I totally subscribe to the saying, including the guarantor part.


Learned my lesson earlier on. I used to lend without the intention of ever getting the money back. But these friends will still disappear cos they are afraid that I will ask them for the money if we were to meet up.

For those who are really in need, like husband no job while wife is a SAHM, I help by giving them NTUC vouchers now and then. But I will not lend any money.

[MMM]

Used to have a uncle too who gambles and landed himself into jail. Once, he wanted to borrow $ from me via my mum. I told my mum that if that is for gambling… forget it. I am not going to support his vice with my hard earned $.


But he has since changed, got married to a great lady (a nurse he met at nursing home where my grandfather stayed) and is very filial to my grandparents (late 80’s) as they stay with him. Financially he is ok (normal can survive type). Recently I thought to myself, in the even that my grandparents pass on one day and he need me to contribute more to the cost, I think I would most likely agree.

[jedamum]

only to siblings.

[auntieM]

I have a BIL who used to leech on DH. After card or majong sessions he would shamelessly come and ‘borrow’ coz he forgot to bring wallet…blah

When we outside he will ask DH for $ even at foodcourt.
I think more like ‘habitual’ chow kuan, I called my DH ‘sucker’.

Then the soccer bets got into thousands and BIL kept asking, ‘borrowing’ on behalf of phantom friends till my DH cannot tahan.
DH settled the debts, and sent him off to work overseas for good.
Till today my DH think I m ignorant to all that and still want to paint a nice picture for BIL.
The $ was never returned, I will be happy if there is no more ‘borrowing’. :x

[autumnbronze]

This thought just came to me ...


As parents, what/how do you tell/teach your kids with regards to this topic. I am sure at one point of time or the other, they may have also borrowed/lent money/stuff from frds etc ...

I am afraid I can't share as DS is only 2 and a half ....