How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you?

[autumnbronze]

A BIG :hugs: to janet_lee88 and all the others out there who have to put up with how lian relatives during the CNY.


Take it easy and focus on the positive :celebrate: :celebrate:

[auntieM]

Weeks before the reunion lunch, SIL called me on my mobile and created trouble. I told her if she doesn't want to plan it, don't do it. Really boiling mad that day :x Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. I've got 2 kids and no maid. It's about time I speak my mind or I'll crazy.[/quote]



Don't get too upset over your SIL, just :nunchuk: :nunchuk: :nunchuk:

Would like to thank you all for 'company' too!

The TV area gets too crowded during CNY, I bettr bring my own magazines and papers

[mitten]

Hi all of you,


Let us cheers :celebrate: :celebrate: :celebrate:
Cheers for our family and children.
Cheers for our bright future
Cheers for our victories against \"hao lian\" people around us
Cheers for CNY and (you name it ) :celebrate: :celebrate:

Our future lays in our hands. Let us treat our future (which is our children) well. Treat them as a person, as an individual and with respect. (so that they will respect us in return :snuggles: )

Let us learn not to be affected by these \"hao lian\" people around us for we are not as shallow as them. For me, I love to look at them and laugh at them as if watching a real-life drama. :laugh: :laugh:

So, Let us \" GAN PEI \" :celebrate: :celebrate: :celebrate:

Cheers :lovesite:

[schellen]

auntieM:

The TV area gets too crowded during CNY, I bettr bring my own magazines and papers

This year I have a secret weapon, my baby! I'll just say I need to breastfeed her and lock myself in a room when I get there. Then, I will say that I need DH's help and DD1 will insist on being with mommy and daddy so the whole family can \"escape\". :lol:

Actually, my elders can't compare much since I'm the only one who has 2 kids. (My sis and cousins are mostly unmarried or still childless.) However, they will still bug me about various things like whether DD1 or DD2 can do this skill or not, and why cannot if they can't, etc. Also, still bugging me to have one more child! This last one I will \"tai-chi\" away to my sis and cousins.

[janet88]

Ladies,


The TV area won't be crowded because only yours truly here will be watching TV. Those people will be airing their crap.
Can't wait to make my escape after giving red packet and eating something.

GONG XI FA CAI everyone :celebrate:

[3Boys]

Not sure why there is a problem for relatives to gather once a year and share their happiness and successes for the year, and their upcoming plans?


When my maternal grandma was alive, my mum’s side and all the siblings (count 7 brothers and sisters) would gather in a small and somewhat dilapidated zinc-roof house in JB, and have a really raucous time sharing, comparing notes ("wah, my son got 9 distinctions at GCSE" -3rd Auntie, "I just bought a new house up in Melaka" - 6th Uncle), and for folk to basically validate and feel happy for each other? If you can’t do that with relatives, blood or otherwise, who can you do that with? This is despite some of my aunties and uncles who are successful business people, living in ginormous houses in KL, traipsing 6 hours down the highway to cramped and uncomfortable settings, and somewhat unpalatable food (I couldn’t eat it) of my Grandma’s, all so that they may commune. You didn’t hear a peep of complaint or see long faces.

I am looking forward to CNY, I am looking forward to hearing my MIL boast about how nice my SIL’s new apartment is, how her nephew who lost his dad in childhood is now doing so wonderfully well, boast to her other relatives about my 2 year old rascal who in her eyes is the most wonderful baby in the world, and generally feeling the family spirit.

It’s all in the spirit of how you perceive it.

I mean, come off your high horses! Its CNY, is it too much to ask not to b**** about talkative relatives, inconvenient travel, strange food?

[3Boys]

Honestly, between a relative who tries to engage me in small talk at a gathering, telling me about what’s going on in his life, versus someone who comes in, stares stony-faced at the TV, or read his own mag and act invisible, guess who I think is the more hao-lian?

[corneyAmber]

3Boys, I don’t think the people posting here have problems rejoicing or celebrating others’ success as a family…


It is the negative vibes that they have been getting that is putting them on guard. Some are avoiding as they are perpectual target to be criticised or compared. I am sure people can tell what is friendly and what is hostile. It is the hostile that they are avoiding. Sounds like yours is a friendly case of sharing in your family.

To each its own, I see everyone has different scenarios in extended family but your reminder is good if people are not facing real issues at homefront.

[corneyAmber]

3Boys:

Honestly, between a relative who tries to engage me in small talk at a gathering, telling me about what's going on in his life, versus someone who comes in, stares stony-faced at the TV, or read his own mag and act invisible, guess who I think is the more hao-lian?

You got a point too..the perception to a stranger is quite interesting.

[tutormum]

At least you guys can still watch t.v. I can only watch at my own uncle's place where all my side of the family gather. As 3Boys has mentioned, they are the ones who are truly interested in how everyone is getting on since we last met last CNY. So there will be lots of catching up besides t.v. I always relish every minute of it cos we are staying in all parts of Singapore and I get to meet my cousins only once a year. For DH side, not only has to tahan/on guard those SIL mean remarks but also their singing. You see, whether you like it or not, they will have karaoke. Whether you like it or not, they'll just off your program and start singing. It's not that I'm not sporting, 3Boys if you think that I should just join in the fun. My SIL will hoard the mike and won't even have the courtesy to let others join in. Imagine how arrogant they are, thinking they are superstars and make you a reluctant audience. Now I learn to be smart, (after so many years, I'm real dumb if I still don't learn) instead of sitting there like a dummy while they eye-ball you with a \"look how well I can sing\" smirk on their faces, I read magazine like Readers' Digest and give them a \"look how learned I am\" expression. :frustrated:

Feel like bringing my laptop along and log in to KSP forum.
Anyway, :celebrate: :celebrate: :celebrate: to all and blessed New Year.