Why does MUM has to make all the Decision?????

[mrswongtuition]

daisyt:

Then when you were younger (eg. pre-teens or teens), did you dislike your mum ? How about your sis ?

We did not dislike my mum at all. Cos she balances it very well.

Example, my sis wanted to go out with her friends instead of go to work at my mum's office. My mum said 'no' cos she's been going out very often & spending alot of money, ask her to stay at home to rest if she does not want to go to work with my mum. My sister stayed at home and sulked the whole day, snapped at anyone who talked to her, even reject my calls. After work, my mum bought my sis' fave chili crab back for her to reward her for being a good girl and staying home. My sister was pacified immediately.

For me & my brother, my mum also did the same. She would tell us her reasons, of cos we'll throw tantrum for a while but she'll pacify us & reward us for following instructions later

Sometimes my dad will help to 'plead' for us but my mum is quite firm in her decisions. No means NO!
But she'll 'make it up' in other ways so that we won't feel like she's always saying 'no'.

& because my mum was the 'big decision maker' at home, we won't be angry with her for long. Cos not long after, we still need to talk to her to ask her to buy things for us
& she has the final say in whether we could buy our discmans, MP3 players, latest nintento/computer games, etc. & she does surprise us with her decisions sometimes by saying YES!

It's not good if 1 person always say NO NO NO. Occasionally must say YES and we'll know that the 'no' was due to valid reasons

& the yes came with terms & conditions (e.g. must do well in exams, cannot keep going out with friends during holidays, etc).

[Funz]

mrswongtuition:

daisyt:

When come to decision on dd's matters, as long as its a NO decision, it would come from dh. We have come out with an agreement, he is the bad guy, I am the good guy. Sometimes, I feel its not fair for him but he says its OK. As long as its for dd's good, he doesn't mind to be the bad one and get dislike. :love:

My parents are like you & your hb. Just that my mum is the bad guy

[cfan]

For my case, I will research on all things related to kids, I will inform him and seek his "permission" on the final go ahead.


However, when we were checking on preschool, I did the list, both of us went to see the schools.

For the really big ones, like buying house, selling house, moving house, I leave it entirely up to him…

As for enrichment classes, he thinks the kids are already very smart compared to when he was young, so to him it actually doesn’t matter whether they attend or not…

However, for ballet and swimming, he will bug me as to how come you haven’t started them on it… which I did as I was only waiting for the right time and the right age…

Recently, I started DD1 on abacus, I asked him and he is ok with it, anyway he doesn’t have to fetch them for any lessons so he’s quite alright for me to go ahead.

[janet88]

I am the ‘bad’ guy because I am a full-time mum. Hubby gets to be the good guy. However, the kids are closer to me because I’m home all the time. Daddy is the best because he buys Wii and Nintendo for them.


We discuss issues like schools, tuition (if there is a need), any extra activities like swimming. As for registering younger child in another school & not in same one as older boy, he advised me it’s for the best for all of us.

[Funz]

Not exactly in line with making decisions but did not want to start a new topic.


Was in bed reading last night after putting the kiddos to sleep. DH came in got into bed and started sighing.

Me : Something bothering you?
DH : Damn stress lah
Me : Over what?
DH : CNY lah, so many things to handle
Me : Huh? More or less settled oredi mah, only oranges not bought yet.
DH : Yah Sunday CNY oredi you know, so when are you going to get the oranges?
Me : Tmrw loh.
DH : Haizz, damn boh eng. Gotta work still gotta worry about all these.

Then he turned over and went to sleep. I sat there looking at him incredulously. I don't even know where to begin. Then I started wondering if I missed out anything.

Drapes, changed and dirty ones sent for laundry. Done
New Beddings. Done
CNY decor. Done
Kids' clothes & shoes. Done
Kids' haircut. Done
CNY Goodies. Done
Ang Bao Money. Done
Reunion dinners. Done
Make sure rice box is full. Done

Seriously, the only thing I can think of are the oranges. Then I started :x . Hello, he did not even have to bother about any of all these, what's he stressing about. I am also working full time and in between having to make sure DD knows her spelling, completes her homework (luckily not many), get and prepare whatever extra materials needed by DD or DS for their school assignments, etc, I got all the CNY stuff settled. I not yet complain about stress you tell me you stress? :?

Now I am wondering what extra curricular activities he has that I am unaware of that is so stressful.

[mummy of 2]

We discuss on the major decisions - like which school to send the kids to, where to go for holiday etc. As our thinking is quite similar, we are mostly aligned in our decision.


Most of the things related to the kids, I'm in-charge, like books, games, puzzles, toys etc. I buy and pay for the stuff but actually the money comes from the monthly (shopping) allowance DH gives me.

Sometimes i do feel over-whelmed, like when things get hectic at work. Then I request that DH helps out, like reading to the kids, and coaching DS1 to do some work.

Mostly I'm happy with the arrangement. He provides the funding, and I provide the resousrces (time and energy) for our kids. At the end of the day, we want the best for the kids, and we are both working towards that

Btw I don't mean DH neglects the kids. He is just happy to leave such things to me, since he is less well-informed about such stuff.

[Blobbi]

mummy of 2:

We discuss on the major decisions - like which school to send the kids to, where to go for holiday etc. As our thinking is quite similar, we are mostly aligned in our decision.


Most of the things related to the kids, I'm in-charge, like books, games, puzzles, toys etc. I buy and pay for the stuff but actually the money comes from the monthly (shopping) allowance DH gives me.

Sometimes i do feel over-whelmed, like when things get hectic at work. Then I request that DH helps out, like reading to the kids, and coaching DS1 to do some work.

Mostly I'm happy with the arrangement. He provides the funding, and I provide the resousrces (time and energy) for our kids. At the end of the day, we want the best for the kids, and we are both working towards that

Btw I don't mean DH neglects the kids. He is just happy to leave such things to me, since he is less well-informed about such stuff.

Gosh, we're like your family, Mummy of 2. Only difference is, my son is probably older so he chooses what he wants for books. I also roughly know his style, so I buy on the internet quite often. He likes science books - depending on the subject he fancies, I shop for them. My hit rate is quite good - around 90%, although that also means got around 10% he doesn't like. We don't go to the libraries cos we have no time.

I know a lot of friends with this sort of arrangement - probably hubbies don't want to bother with the details of the day to day stuff!

[mummy of 2]

At the end of the day, it's about finding a balance and an arrangement which works, and makes both parties happy

[CJS]

Men do little bit extra, will complain like hell just like my dh. Women do, it's your duty and you do it best w/o complaint. Tat's women has to make all the decision. Husbands will then always say wives are smarter and they made the right decisions.

[kiasu_pig]

He is ONLY his Daddy, but She is his ONLY Mummy.