Why does MUM has to make all the Decision?????
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I am the ‘bad’ guy because I am a full-time mum. Hubby gets to be the good guy. However, the kids are closer to me because I’m home all the time. Daddy is the best because he buys Wii and Nintendo for them.
We discuss issues like schools, tuition (if there is a need), any extra activities like swimming. As for registering younger child in another school & not in same one as older boy, he advised me it’s for the best for all of us. -
Not exactly in line with making decisions but did not want to start a new topic.
Was in bed reading last night after putting the kiddos to sleep. DH came in got into bed and started sighing.
Me : Something bothering you?
DH : Damn stress lah
Me : Over what?
DH : CNY lah, so many things to handle
Me : Huh? More or less settled oredi mah, only oranges not bought yet.
DH : Yah Sunday CNY oredi you know, so when are you going to get the oranges?
Me : Tmrw loh.
DH : Haizz, damn boh eng. Gotta work still gotta worry about all these.
Then he turned over and went to sleep. I sat there looking at him incredulously. I don't even know where to begin. Then I started wondering if I missed out anything.
Drapes, changed and dirty ones sent for laundry. Done
New Beddings. Done
CNY decor. Done
Kids' clothes & shoes. Done
Kids' haircut. Done
CNY Goodies. Done
Ang Bao Money. Done
Reunion dinners. Done
Make sure rice box is full. Done
Seriously, the only thing I can think of are the oranges. Then I started :x . Hello, he did not even have to bother about any of all these, what's he stressing about. I am also working full time and in between having to make sure DD knows her spelling, completes her homework (luckily not many), get and prepare whatever extra materials needed by DD or DS for their school assignments, etc, I got all the CNY stuff settled. I not yet complain about stress you tell me you stress? :?
Now I am wondering what extra curricular activities he has that I am unaware of that is so stressful.
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We discuss on the major decisions - like which school to send the kids to, where to go for holiday etc. As our thinking is quite similar, we are mostly aligned in our decision.
Most of the things related to the kids, I'm in-charge, like books, games, puzzles, toys etc. I buy and pay for the stuff but actually the money comes from the monthly (shopping) allowance DH gives me.
Sometimes i do feel over-whelmed, like when things get hectic at work. Then I request that DH helps out, like reading to the kids, and coaching DS1 to do some work.
Mostly I'm happy with the arrangement. He provides the funding, and I provide the resousrces (time and energy) for our kids. At the end of the day, we want the best for the kids, and we are both working towards that
Btw I don't mean DH neglects the kids. He is just happy to leave such things to me, since he is less well-informed about such stuff. -
mummy of 2:
Gosh, we're like your family, Mummy of 2. Only difference is, my son is probably older so he chooses what he wants for books. I also roughly know his style, so I buy on the internet quite often. He likes science books - depending on the subject he fancies, I shop for them. My hit rate is quite good - around 90%, although that also means got around 10% he doesn't like.We discuss on the major decisions - like which school to send the kids to, where to go for holiday etc. As our thinking is quite similar, we are mostly aligned in our decision.
Most of the things related to the kids, I'm in-charge, like books, games, puzzles, toys etc. I buy and pay for the stuff but actually the money comes from the monthly (shopping) allowance DH gives me.
Sometimes i do feel over-whelmed, like when things get hectic at work. Then I request that DH helps out, like reading to the kids, and coaching DS1 to do some work.
Mostly I'm happy with the arrangement. He provides the funding, and I provide the resousrces (time and energy) for our kids. At the end of the day, we want the best for the kids, and we are both working towards that
Btw I don't mean DH neglects the kids. He is just happy to leave such things to me, since he is less well-informed about such stuff. We don't go to the libraries cos we have no time.
I know a lot of friends with this sort of arrangement - probably hubbies don't want to bother with the details of the day to day stuff! -
At the end of the day, it's about finding a balance and an arrangement which works, and makes both parties happy
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Men do little bit extra, will complain like hell just like my dh. Women do, it's your duty and you do it best w/o complaint. Tat's women has to make all the decision. Husbands will then always say wives are smarter and they made the right decisions.
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He is ONLY his Daddy, but She is his ONLY Mummy.
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Daddies are more ‘bo-chap’. Quite a common phenomenon in Singapore. Not sure about the rest of the world though.
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because Mummy knows BEST??
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i think mummy is more of a detailed person and looks into minute bits while daddy looks at the big picture and not think so deeply.
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