SAHP or working is better?

[smurf]

KSP:

I think gal you are talking about is a teenager. As a teenage, many other factors will come in. The friends they mixed with and the communication with parents etc.. If the mum keep scolding and nagging the child day and night, I would say they have zero communication. Once there is no communication, things like this may probably happen regardless you are rich and poor.

yup, she is a teenager, so is the 1st example (the 13 year old boy).
despite that the mum stays at home to look after her kids, she still behaves this way..
doesn't mean the mum stays at home means there won't be any strange behaviour.

[KSP]

smurf:

yup, she is a teenager, so is the 1st example (the 13 year old boy).

despite that the mum stays at home to look after her kids, she still behaves this way..
doesn't mean the mum stays at home means there won't be any strange behaviour.

Yes, nothing in this world is definite or 100%. Even prisoner can also escape in Singapore. What else cannot happen?

[sleepy]

mintcc:

smurf:

another arrangement: put the child in full time childcare (not those expensive kind), mum does chores during the day, kid goes back after 5pm...and mum then can teach the child? how about that? good?

Sounds like a good plan. Kids learn in school too and Mum less stress. Me dreaming of the day I do something like that, hee.

I thought the purpose of staying home is to spend quantity time with the child :?
If send the child to full day childcare, might as well return to work

[minnie2004]

Blobbi:

Whoa Minnie2004, you're amazing! I don't have your patience or your creativity. Being a SAHM is probably your true calling.


I tried the yelling too (this one no need to be creative :)) - wah, high blood pressure. What's worked for us is if I leave him alone, fuel his interests with tonnes of books and help him to relax. Whatever works lah. Anwyay, maybe that's why I'm a PTWM - if I focus on him alone, we sure explode!

Hi Blobbi, I'm actually not very patient and lose temper all the time. It's indeed very stressful to deal with my 2 kids full-time. It helps to have a maid at home so when I'm on the verge of exploding, I'll ask her to take over while I cool myself down. If I have a choice, I also prefer to be a PTWM, it's the best of both worlds.

[smurf]

Hi minnie,



yoou are right. I'm not patient too, and is embarassed to said that I lose temper quite frequent lately. and worse, show it in front of kids...I feel lousy and bad as a mum...I think I'm a lousy mum... :oops:

[auntieM]

smurf:

Hi minnie,



yoou are right. I'm not patient too, and is embarassed to said that I lose temper quite frequent lately. and worse, show it in front of kids...I feel lousy and bad as a mum...I think I'm a lousy mum... :oops:

Hey smurf,
Cheer up, we all go thru mood swings once n a while. Everytime when I m really angry I will turn and walk away for a while just to cool down. This method never fail me so far

[Blobbi]

auntieM:

smurf:

Hi minnie,



yoou are right. I'm not patient too, and is embarassed to said that I lose temper quite frequent lately. and worse, show it in front of kids...I feel lousy and bad as a mum...I think I'm a lousy mum... :oops:

Hey smurf,
Cheer up, we all go thru mood swings once n a while. Everytime when I m really angry I will turn and walk away for a while just to cool down. This method never fail me so far

Yah Smurf, don't feel so bad. Try to find an outlet, somehow.

I have difficulty walking away cos my son will jump on my leg and cling on like a monkey. I can't even shake him off cos it makes me feel so abusive . These days, I try to look away and do my personal time out so that it doesn't get to this stage.

[MMM]

smurf:

Hi minnie,



yoou are right. I'm not patient too, and is embarassed to said that I lose temper quite frequent lately. and worse, show it in front of kids...I feel lousy and bad as a mum...I think I'm a lousy mum... :oops:

Hi Smurf,

You are not alone. I am guilty of that too. I would be :x if they don't do their stuff correctly. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with our fengshui at home. I am not kidding. It's like the moment I step in, my mood just swing. Especially if I see that the kids are still sitting infront of TV iso bathing and in the study room. I guess it's just the stress level.

I would also get very angry if they are not cooperative (dilly dally, never think properly, etc...). I just get mad and would start to scold them or pull a long face. :roll:

In my case, it all started when my eldest enter P1.... But it's good that we are conscious of our own mood.

Despite my mood and how strict I am, the kids will still have preference for me over my hubby (who is the more loving type and will give in to them more but he is also the Mr Kway Teow Mee). I feel that I still gain their respect. So don't be disheartened.

[autumnbronze]

smurf:

yoou are right. I'm not patient too, and is embarassed to said that I lose temper quite frequent lately. and worse, show it in front of kids...I feel lousy and bad as a mum...I think I'm a lousy mum... :oops:

Hi smurf,

Don't be too hard on yourself ... :hugs:

You are only human too. I 'spose we do need to find some way to deal with the temper like time out etc....

[csc]

autumnbronze:

smurf:

yoou are right. I'm not patient too, and is embarassed to said that I lose temper quite frequent lately. and worse, show it in front of kids...I feel lousy and bad as a mum...I think I'm a lousy mum... :oops:

Hi smurf,

Don't be too hard on yourself ... :hugs:

You are only human too. I 'spose we do need to find some way to deal with the temper like time out etc....

Yeah...agree .

We are all imperfect people ,so of course make imperfect parents.

We will learn along the way, hopefully. Our temper (most of the time, it is due to our expectations) will mellow over the years. Maybe, the expectations get lower with passing years :lol:

As the mother of two tweens, I realise I hardly scream nowadays. In fact, the kids are the ones having the temper now!

Press on!