SAHP or working is better?

[Blobbi]

minnie2004:

It is actually possible to make study fun for the kids, but it takes a lot of efforts to think of something \"fun\" and \"new\" each time. I try to mix up games with homework. e.g. when my DH correctly writes a Chinese character (from a ting xie list), I'll reward her a letter (alphabet) from a box. If she fails, I'll take one. At the end, we'll use the letters we each collected and make words. The one who makes the most words win. By doing so, I've done both Chinese & Eng for the day without making her feel forced. Sometimes she even asks me to give her more Chinese words to write so she can earn more letters!

When it comes to piano, I'll make up a story linking all the songs she has learned and do a musical. When she plays, me and DS will either sing along or dance. The difficult part is I always have to come up with some fresh ideas to keep her interested. :idea:

I've tried yelling & screaming before, and believe me, it doesn't work. Only resulted in sore throat for me. Also, I don't want to force her too much as she's still young. When I was her age, I really didn't do anything except play.

Whoa Minnie2004, you're amazing! I don't have your patience or your creativity. Being a SAHM is probably your true calling.

I tried the yelling too (this one no need to be creative :)) - wah, high blood pressure. What's worked for us is if I leave him alone, fuel his interests with tonnes of books and help him to relax. Whatever works lah. Anwyay, maybe that's why I'm a PTWM - if I focus on him alone, we sure explode!

[KSP]

smurf:

hmm, I dun quite agree leh. the 2nd example: the gal's mum look after her children, and yet, the gal can go out in the middle of the nite to meet 3 guys ALONE. the father was so mad until he fainted. I mean, what can a gal do with 3 guys alone?? luckily, the grandma saw that the gal was trying to escape and hence informed the parents (they stay together).


and no, they are not considered rich. just average.

I think gal you are talking about is a teenager. As a teenage, many other factors will come in. The friends they mixed with and the communication with parents etc.. If the mum keep scolding and nagging the child day and night, I would say they have zero communication. Once there is no communication, things like this may probably happen regardless you are rich and poor.

[jesschan]

minnie2004:

It is actually possible to make study fun for the kids, but it takes a lot of efforts to think of something \"fun\" and \"new\" each time.

I used to make learning fun and enjoyable for my older boy who is now in P4 but when I also had to do that for my younger one who is now in P1, it got very tiring for myself. And it gets more difficult to make it fun when the kid grows older. So I think instilling the right learning attitude from young is most important because ultimately we want them to become independent learners.

[smurf]

KSP:

I think gal you are talking about is a teenager. As a teenage, many other factors will come in. The friends they mixed with and the communication with parents etc.. If the mum keep scolding and nagging the child day and night, I would say they have zero communication. Once there is no communication, things like this may probably happen regardless you are rich and poor.

yup, she is a teenager, so is the 1st example (the 13 year old boy).
despite that the mum stays at home to look after her kids, she still behaves this way..
doesn't mean the mum stays at home means there won't be any strange behaviour.

[KSP]

smurf:

yup, she is a teenager, so is the 1st example (the 13 year old boy).

despite that the mum stays at home to look after her kids, she still behaves this way..
doesn't mean the mum stays at home means there won't be any strange behaviour.

Yes, nothing in this world is definite or 100%. Even prisoner can also escape in Singapore. What else cannot happen?

[sleepy]

mintcc:

smurf:

another arrangement: put the child in full time childcare (not those expensive kind), mum does chores during the day, kid goes back after 5pm...and mum then can teach the child? how about that? good?

Sounds like a good plan. Kids learn in school too and Mum less stress. Me dreaming of the day I do something like that, hee.

I thought the purpose of staying home is to spend quantity time with the child :?
If send the child to full day childcare, might as well return to work

[minnie2004]

Blobbi:

Whoa Minnie2004, you're amazing! I don't have your patience or your creativity. Being a SAHM is probably your true calling.


I tried the yelling too (this one no need to be creative :)) - wah, high blood pressure. What's worked for us is if I leave him alone, fuel his interests with tonnes of books and help him to relax. Whatever works lah. Anwyay, maybe that's why I'm a PTWM - if I focus on him alone, we sure explode!

Hi Blobbi, I'm actually not very patient and lose temper all the time. It's indeed very stressful to deal with my 2 kids full-time. It helps to have a maid at home so when I'm on the verge of exploding, I'll ask her to take over while I cool myself down. If I have a choice, I also prefer to be a PTWM, it's the best of both worlds.

[smurf]

Hi minnie,



yoou are right. I'm not patient too, and is embarassed to said that I lose temper quite frequent lately. and worse, show it in front of kids...I feel lousy and bad as a mum...I think I'm a lousy mum... :oops:

[auntieM]

smurf:

Hi minnie,



yoou are right. I'm not patient too, and is embarassed to said that I lose temper quite frequent lately. and worse, show it in front of kids...I feel lousy and bad as a mum...I think I'm a lousy mum... :oops:

Hey smurf,
Cheer up, we all go thru mood swings once n a while. Everytime when I m really angry I will turn and walk away for a while just to cool down. This method never fail me so far

[Blobbi]

auntieM:

smurf:

Hi minnie,



yoou are right. I'm not patient too, and is embarassed to said that I lose temper quite frequent lately. and worse, show it in front of kids...I feel lousy and bad as a mum...I think I'm a lousy mum... :oops:

Hey smurf,
Cheer up, we all go thru mood swings once n a while. Everytime when I m really angry I will turn and walk away for a while just to cool down. This method never fail me so far

Yah Smurf, don't feel so bad. Try to find an outlet, somehow.

I have difficulty walking away cos my son will jump on my leg and cling on like a monkey. I can't even shake him off cos it makes me feel so abusive . These days, I try to look away and do my personal time out so that it doesn't get to this stage.