How much time should an eight years old spent each day ?

[sharonkhoo]

Old Arbat:

Hi Slmkoo


My son is academically weak, so should I increase or reduce his homework/tuition time.

He has tuitions on alternate weekdays, then swimming and martial art on Saturday.
When he has tuitions, it will be about one hour homework. If he has no tuition, then it will be about two hours homework with one hour break in between.
The rest of the days are spent on travelling and eating his lunch and dinner (which may be one hour each).
Is this reasonable ?

Actually, I think it's better to see whether there is actual learning happening through the tuition and homework times. If yes, and the child still has time to play, relax, and doesn't seem over-tired, then it's probably OK. Be objective about what you can expect from your child - if he's reached his maximum performance, extra time spent on studies may be counter-productive. And if he seems over-stressed or over-tired, then it would be good to pull back.

One hour each for a meal seems too long - tell him to eat faster so he has more time to play!

[jetsetter]

It is not the quantity or time spent but quality that matters. Is your ds getting quality academic support? Is he efficient?

[ammonite]

What time does he get home? Among the kids I know, getting home can range from 1.15pm to 3pm or later. Big difference to meal times and energy level.


I personally don’t think a child should do more than 2hours of work after school. This includes tuition.

[ammonite]

Maybe you should consider what his life consist of beyond academics (school, homework, tuition, assessment) and see if there is any need for adjustment.

[Old Arbat]

Hi


I try to answer some of your queries.

He is attending the popular enrichment schools. However, as I worked till late at night, I do not have time to teach him except weekends, which then become quite stressful for both of us as I tried to cover as much as possible. Hence, at weekends, he will study/homework 3 to 4 hours. He is not "efficient" as he is easily distracted.

He come back home around 2pm if there is no enrichment school. If there is, then it can be in late afternoon. He sleeps at 9pm / 9.30pm.

I cherish my childhood - catching spiders, catching fishes in the canals, marbles, lying down and doing nothing, etc. I would like him to go thru some of these. However, does it means that I ignore the grades and let him have more playtime ? By giving more playtime, will he be more focus in school and his grade will catch up?

If his grades are stable, I will be most pleased to give him more playtime.

Got mixed advices from my friends - some say tighten and some say let go. : (

[sharonkhoo]

You have to decide what your measurements of ‘enough’ are based on. If you base on grades, then you have to work on him until he meets what you feel is sufficiently good grades. For me, I base on effort and time rather than grades because I have a child who is not a strong student and another who is very strong, and if I base on grades, it will either be different for each child, or one will suffer or the other will be too relaxed. I also feel that it’s fairer to a child to base our targets on how much effort they have put in. Of course, you also need to take into account time wasted in distractions or dreaming, bad attitude, carelessness etc. For such things, I will make them work longer and harder. I try to make sure they have some leisure time each day, even now when my kids are in their teens. Play time is even more important for younger kids.


I believe that the answer is both tighten and let go. Tighten in getting someone to supervise him closely every day to teach him how to make efficient use of his time and work hard and smart. That has to be done daily until it becomes a habit. And let go in letting him have his play time once he has done the work that was set so he realises that hard work brings rewards.

[Old Arbat]

Hi Slmkhoo


I wish I could follow what you have advised. Whenever I cut down his play time for not focusing during work time, he would cry and refuse to work. He can be very stubborn at time, and does not mind sacrificing his play time.

However, I want to be fair to him, and that why I asked how much hours per day for enrichment school/homework is considered reasonable.

He just told me the other day that he wishes he was like a robot and is able to work as fast/efficient as I wanted him to be. He said he cannot help getting distracted. On one hand, I can see he is trying hard to please me. On the other hand, he simply cannot do it and not motivated enough to work harder. He does care much about the quality of his work in school nor the test results. However, in a recent test, he went home crying after he think he had missed out answering three questions. While, we are sad that he did not do well for the test, we were happy that he is at least "conscious" about his grades. He told us he has tried his best but there was not enough time. Since he tried his best, we did not scold him or anything. We always told him that we just need him to try his best and do a "check".

Welcome any suggestions on getting him to be efficient.

[Love Clouds]

My Dd2 does not like to sit still to study. She needs to play to learn.

Hence, I try playing games with her and so far my method works well for her (getting above 85%).
Maths - do and compete challenging Maths questions with her. Give her points if she has done it correctly (train her accuracy) and faster (train her speed) than me. She can use the accumulated points to either change for more TV time, extra ice-cream, etc.
Chinese - learning the new words for each chapter by forming a story on her own. Children can get very creative with that. I don’t bother about the storyline (it can be crazy or funny) so much but I focus on usage and sentence structure.
English - she reads a lot of books on her own, so I don’t bother to teach.
Science - I send her to a centre with weekly experiments which she enjoys.

I’m a working mum so I can only spare 1 hr a night with her. She will do her school homework in the afternoon and play after that. I believe in quality learning than quantity learning.

[sharonkhoo]

Have you taken him to be assessed for ADHD? For a kid who is trying hard but not able to focus as long as other kids the same age, there is a possibility of some learning disability. If you don’t think it’s that serious, then you can try setting very short periods,eg. 10 mins followed by a 2 min break, and let him work up from there. You can also try to intersperse periods of sitting down to work with other methods which are less ‘sit down’ and see if that helps.

[ammonite]

Old Arbat:

However, I want to be fair to him, and that why I asked how much hours per day for enrichment school/homework is considered reasonable.

Well, I feel two hours, inclusive of tuition, is reasonable. So in the case of tuition, I will consider if tuition is helping to lessen the load, or adding to it. Ideally the tuition should help him cope by strengthening foundation within the allotted time, and also assist in any queries that he may have regarding his homework (assuming the tuition is 1.5 - 2 hours per session). Tuition should not be an extra burden.

He just told me the other day that he wishes he was like a robot and is able to work as fast/efficient as I wanted him to be. He said he cannot help getting distracted.

Consider if he has the right place to work in. I am assuming that he is alone at home and there are no other distractions like TV, radio, noisy siblings etc. Then consider if he gets lonely doing homework. If he does, maybe you can have the use of devices like FaceTime etc where you can check in on him every 45 min or so, or a quick call to make sure he is on track. I had colleagues who did that for their younger kids when I was working. One call when the kids get home, one call when starting homework, one call later to check on status, one call before they go home.

Feeling distracted MAY also indicate that he feels overwhelmed by the task.

On one hand, I can see he is trying hard to please me. On the other hand, he simply cannot do it and not motivated enough to work harder.


I think it is human nature to feel discouraged if we keep failing at something. If you think he is trying hard (isn't that sign of motivation?) then you should look to see if there are underlying factors that he cannot overcome on his own.

He told us he has tried his best but there was not enough time.

Generally for P2, there should be more than enough time for the average child. You can speak to the teachers to understand if he 1) lacks mastery of the subject 2) work very slowly 3) both. You can only find out from the teachers because you do not know the average speed of the cohort. Sometimes being slow is an indication of lack of mastery, other times it is an undetected learning disability. If the latter you have to take some steps to remediate him now because the curve is only going to get steeper.

Both simkhoo and I have kids with dyspraxia - difficulties with handwriting - and there is a clear difference in working speed between the child who has that and a child who doesn't. .