Dad jailed for hitting son

[tree nymph]

autumnbronze:

\"The 36-year-old former packer, who cannot be named, had earlier admitted to ill-treating the boy at his home on Feb 18 last year.\"

I cut and pasted this from the article. It seems to me that the man is unemployed.

Would it be possible that he was venting out frustration on the child?? If so, what is there to counsel abt. Its a simple case of right and wrong and he has done the wrong thing.

Spending time in jail is no easy feat. Yes, there's no guarantee that he will not do it again, but at least he is away from the child, the beer and will have time to reflect upon his actions.

Again, can only speculate.

I am playing Devil's Advocate here because my sympathies are with the child ....

Well, the man could have been working as a packer until recently? My sympathies are with the child too and if in fact he was venting out frustration on the child, then the more he should be sent for probation and counselling. And if he is indeed unemployed and the mother is working, then they will still need someone to look after the kid while the mother is at work. Even if the mother is working, how is she going to take such long leave? no pay leave? then eat what?

Its true that the father should not hit a one-year-old child. But I think sometimes we do have to look at the circumstances and the re-percussions to pass any sentence.

[autumnbronze]

tree nymph:

[quote=\"autumnbronze]

\"The 36-year-old former packer, who cannot be named, had earlier admitted to ill-treating the boy at his home on Feb 18 last year.\"

I cut and pasted this from the article. It seems to me that the man is unemployed.

Would it be possible that he was venting out frustration on the child?? If so, what is there to counsel abt. Its a simple case of right and wrong and he has done the wrong thing.

Spending time in jail is no easy feat. Yes, there's no guarantee that he will not do it again, but at least he is away from the child, the beer and will have time to reflect upon his actions.

Again, can only speculate.

I am playing Devil's Advocate here because my sympathies are with the child ....

Well, the man could have been working as a packer until recently? My sympathies are with the child too and if in fact he was venting out frustration on the child, then the more he should be sent for probation and counselling. And if he is indeed unemployed and the mother is working, then they will still need someone to look after the kid while the mother is at work. Even if the mother is working, how is she going to take such long leave? no pay leave? then eat what?

Its true that the father should not hit a one-year-old child. But I think sometimes we do have to look at the circumstances and the re-percussions to pass any sentence.[/quote][/quote]

Hi tree nymph,

As we can share our views openly here. I stand my ground on mine.

Like I have mentioned, what he did is wrong. There's no mention of him having any kind of mental illness that may have precipitated his act. So its clear cut. I also mentioned earlier that the baby is helpless, prob can't express much but cry ... he/she was defenceless!!

For me counselling is out due to the circumstances and the victim's age and also there is no guarantee that he'll reform. I did say that jail term may not reform him, but he will stay away from the beer and have the time to reflect. Please read my earlier posts.

And also, the child's bruises did not seem to move him at all (based on the fact that there is no mention in the paper) then sorri, no amt counselling can help.

Sorri, do we have to wait for a child to die b4 we come down hard on them?? Btw, that has already happened in another case.

As someone mentioned, judge will consider all circumstances first. I am sure he will find out if the child can be taken care of first. I have witnessed a court case and the judge doesn't just sit and listen and pass judgement, he/she asks quests and believe me, sentencing can take v long too.

As for re-percussions, both the mom and dad should have thought of that before letting the incident happen.

We can't say that it was the heat of the moment, rite??

JMO.

[mintcc]

I suppose the jail term also serve as a warning for others.


There had already been a few kids who were so badly abuse that they lost their young life as a result of adult abuse. 1 year old is all the more vulnerable as their organs are not fully developed yet.

[Blobbi]

I didn’t read very far back, but my feel is, this guy needs to feel fear to stop. Punitive measures have to be taken. It’s harsh but it works.

[tutormum]

Blobbi:

I didn't read very far back, but my feel is, this guy needs to feel fear to stop. Punitive measures have to be taken. It's harsh but it works.

I agree totally. 1 year old is too young to know or understand anything. Even for a 2 year old, one needs lots of patience to deal with them. Hitting a child this young won't yield the desired results. If a child cries, the more you hit him/her to try to stop the crying, the more he/she will cry. :roll: ALL potential parents should be sent for parenting course to learn how to care for their unborn child. Parents are protectors and care givers and if they don't meet the requirements, the child should be moved away from them as far as possible. One solution is to put the child in a foster home until the parents are deemed capable to care for him/her without using unnecessary force. :idea: Who knows, the father will take revenge on this poor child once he's out of jail. :nailbite:

[tree nymph]

I can only say that not all people has equal opportunities in life. They may not know the best way to disclipine kids. come to think of it, there’s no best way. one has to apply different methods for different kids though there are some generalization. Maybe they are first time parents, maybe the father should just walk away when he was angry, maybe the mother can bring the kiddo out and calm the kid down, maybe she can call her friends for advise, maybe she can google and search on the web for some ideas, maybe the father can bring the kiddo for a ride in his car to calm him down… but maybe not… they probably do not have this kind of help-lines… So why couldn’t the parents be counselled and taught to care for their kid?


Even though the judge may asks lots of questions and so on, a lot also depends on the lawyers presenting the cases for both sides. Anyway, the judge has already passed the sentence. although i think the sentence maybe a bit harsh, the judge may also want to hand out the harsh sentence to warn parents on this.

[Blobbi]

lovekidsverymuch:

Blobbi:

I didn't read very far back, but my feel is, this guy needs to feel fear to stop. Punitive measures have to be taken. It's harsh but it works.

Even if its 1st time?

I don't think this is his first time. I think it's his first time getting caught. People like that have a history of violence. His first time may have been a lot milder, but this level is easily surpassed cos the kid is defenceless, and it's oh so easy to carry on. That's why the child has to see the doctor. Sooner or later, he'll need hospitalization as the injruries get worse.

This man needs to feel the rotan to condition him to stop.

[Blobbi]

Tree Nymph and Tutormom,


You’re both talking like normal parents. We have our kids, we’re surprised that, wah, so hard to manage them (or harder than we thought). We even lose our tempers, smack them, and no matter how justified we feel, there’s always this tinge of regret and remorse so that we scurry to kiasuparents or our friends to vent and look for other ways to deal more effectively without causing grief. We want them to learn so that the whole process is not repeated. Of course it does get repeated, so we reflect and rethink our strategies …

Not so for these guys. It’s a completely different cycle to what a normal parent thinks. This guy is not interested in bettering the child - he’s interested in himself. He has a low tolerance for getting annoyed or, if he’s upset with something else, he wants a punching bag to let his stress out on. Children in these families are NOT better disciplined. In fact, they’re probably beaten up with very little idea why (what can a yr old boy do to deserve this?). When the child gets older and actually does make a misdemeanour that justifies punishment, the resultant "discipline" can land him in hospital, or he becomes strong enough to fight back. If you learn at a young age that violence is the key to power and surival, there’ll be another vicious cycle repeated in the following generation.

Yep, this guy desrves a jolt, either from the rotan or the end of an electric cable a la Skinner. We need to stop this vicious cycle.

[autumnbronze]

:thankyou: to those who GET it, after reading the article.



Also, as a fellow experienced but deceptively old sounding forummer mentioned, the child was not being 'disciplined' but abused.

I shall refrain from making anymore comments abt my stand.

To each his own lah .....

[Blobbi]

Blobbi:

Yep, this guy desrves a jolt, either from the rotan or the end of an electric cable a la Skinner. We need to stop this vicious cycle.

Just read my own post - a bit contradictory to say, stop violence with violence.

But with these people, violence is the only language they know. Maybe after that, we can talk sense with these people. But they have to be stopped first.

Autumnbronze, sorry - didn't know there was a controversy going on? My views are a bit extreme because I know of a 3 yr old whose fingers were broken ... I hope I didn't offend anyone and don't worry about offending me!

Poverty, frustration, depression often accompany these cases. There is no single cure-all fix. My own sense is, try to stop the pain first. The child goes to foster care (since home care is actually dangerous anyway). When the parent/s are able to prove they can take care of the kid (repeated interviews, counseling at MCYS, jail time, getting a stable job, a change in family mix, like grandparents or siblings chip in) after some time (can take months or years), they can have the kid back.