Dad jailed for hitting son
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lovekidsverymuch:
I don't think this is his first time. I think it's his first time getting caught. People like that have a history of violence. His first time may have been a lot milder, but this level is easily surpassed cos the kid is defenceless, and it's oh so easy to carry on. That's why the child has to see the doctor. Sooner or later, he'll need hospitalization as the injruries get worse.Blobbi:
I didn't read very far back, but my feel is, this guy needs to feel fear to stop. Punitive measures have to be taken. It's harsh but it works.
Even if its 1st time?
This man needs to feel the rotan to condition him to stop. -
Tree Nymph and Tutormom,
You’re both talking like normal parents. We have our kids, we’re surprised that, wah, so hard to manage them (or harder than we thought). We even lose our tempers, smack them, and no matter how justified we feel, there’s always this tinge of regret and remorse so that we scurry to kiasuparents or our friends to vent and look for other ways to deal more effectively without causing grief. We want them to learn so that the whole process is not repeated. Of course it does get repeated, so we reflect and rethink our strategies …
Not so for these guys. It’s a completely different cycle to what a normal parent thinks. This guy is not interested in bettering the child - he’s interested in himself. He has a low tolerance for getting annoyed or, if he’s upset with something else, he wants a punching bag to let his stress out on. Children in these families are NOT better disciplined. In fact, they’re probably beaten up with very little idea why (what can a yr old boy do to deserve this?). When the child gets older and actually does make a misdemeanour that justifies punishment, the resultant "discipline" can land him in hospital, or he becomes strong enough to fight back. If you learn at a young age that violence is the key to power and surival, there’ll be another vicious cycle repeated in the following generation.
Yep, this guy desrves a jolt, either from the rotan or the end of an electric cable a la Skinner. We need to stop this vicious cycle. -
:thankyou: to those who GET it, after reading the article.
Also, as a fellow experienced but deceptively old sounding forummer mentioned, the child was not being 'disciplined' but abused.
I shall refrain from making anymore comments abt my stand.
To each his own lah ..... -
Blobbi:
Yep, this guy desrves a jolt, either from the rotan or the end of an electric cable a la Skinner. We need to stop this vicious cycle.
Just read my own post - a bit contradictory to say, stop violence with violence.
But with these people, violence is the only language they know. Maybe after that, we can talk sense with these people. But they have to be stopped first.
Autumnbronze, sorry - didn't know there was a controversy going on? My views are a bit extreme because I know of a 3 yr old whose fingers were broken ... I hope I didn't offend anyone and don't worry about offending me!
Poverty, frustration, depression often accompany these cases. There is no single cure-all fix. My own sense is, try to stop the pain first. The child goes to foster care (since home care is actually dangerous anyway). When the parent/s are able to prove they can take care of the kid (repeated interviews, counseling at MCYS, jail time, getting a stable job, a change in family mix, like grandparents or siblings chip in) after some time (can take months or years), they can have the kid back. -
Blobbi:
No controversy lah Blobbi.
Autumnbronze, sorry - didn't know there was a controversy going on? My views are a bit extreme because I know of a 3 yr old whose fingers were broken ... I hope I didn't offend anyone and don't worry about offending me!
I am being extreme too and for me, for this case involving a toddler, there's no 2 ways abt it
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autumnbronze:
Maybe I don't GET it.:thankyou: to those who GET it, after reading the article.
Also, as a fellow experienced but deceptively old sounding forummer mentioned, the child was not being 'disciplined' but abused.
I shall refrain from making anymore comments abt my stand.
To each his own lah .....
I too think its wrong the hit the child up like that too. But aren't we discussing if there are any better ways to teach this guy? So is this the only punishment that he can get. So what if he is back from jail, will he hate his son for making him loose his temper and then this cycle of using violence will go on and on...blobbi:
We alone can't do all. The parents have to realize what they did is wrong. So counselling etc plays a part in teaching the parents if they are indeed that ignorant.Poverty, frustration, depression often accompany these cases. There is no single cure-all fix. My own sense is, try to stop the pain first. The child goes to foster care (since home care is actually dangerous anyway). When the parent/s are able to prove they can take care of the kid (repeated interviews, counseling at MCYS, jail time, getting a stable job, a change in family mix, like grandparents or siblings chip in) after some time (can take months or years), they can have the kid back
Just hope that the child didn't suffer anything major and the parents realize that no matter what, the child doesn't warrant this kind of treatment. -
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My responses have been based on the question posed by the author's first posting.there is an article on the news that a dad was sentenced to 3 months jail for hitting son. he slapped the boy and hit him on his arm.
according to the article, redness was found on him, but doesn't state anywhere that there was injury.
do you think the jail term is necessary?
So my ans has been affirmative and I have provided my justification all along.
So, once again, to each his own. -
If based purely on the article, no where was it mentioned that the child has prior injuries and knowing judicial processes, it takes time, no where does it mention that the father abused the kid again since that incident.
So if basing purely on the article, then I will say counselling and parenting coaching for both mother & father will be more constructive.
If the abuse has happened more then once, then I say jail the mother as well as she is negligent. -
According to STOMP, the father is very remorseful after the incident and has not been able to work while been investigated.
According to the report, after the father brought the child to the room, he locked it up. the mum tried to open the door but couldn’t (because it is locked).
After a while then he opened the door, and the next day, the mum brought the boy to see doctor.
I don’t think a jail sentence is the key point in this case, but how to prevent such case from happening again?
A jail sentence may or may not deter the father from doing that again, after he is released, he can still do it again if he doesn’t change. So what if the law punished him? he can still do that. but if dun jail him, what are the other ways?
The problem is how to curb his bad temper (which is difficult if it has anything to do with personality).
A better way can be, take the child away from him for a prolong period (3 mths is too short), send him for counselling, curfew him so that he won’t be able to get close to alcohol.
Ultimately in such cases, the victim no matter what, even if the father is being punished, is the child himself. -
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