In-law problems?

[jedamum]

foreverj:

eh jedamum, for some PIL, yes i agree they may show more respect when role of 'landlady' is reversed. but knowing what buds had to go thru, safest is dun let them move into the house!

but, how to say 'No'??

[buds]

lovekidsverymuch:

Hey buds do let me know when u open ur own child care i will be the first one to enroll my kids there :celebrate:

That is so nice of you, lovekidsverymuch.

You don't know me personally and haven't sampled any of my skills :evil:
before... but your affirmation and belief in my work only via cyberspace
is beyond words. :snuggles:

[buds]

Andaiz:

buds, this time around, please MAKE sure that you're included in co-tenancy. I.e., property in yours and DH's name. Not that we are teaching you bad or what

Yes yes.. i do see my name in there. :lol:

Naaah, of course i know they aren't bad vibes you're clouding me with
but more to making sure this friend (me lah) here didn't miss out on the
important details... esp being a first time buyer. :politebleah:

Andaiz:

....part of the problem at the current place is because IL's have a stake in it right??!

Yap. That's basically the 'entire' problem.

Andaiz:

buds, I'm -ing that it isn't just the tsunami that is over but all the undercurrents and ripple effect (and ba;ck-lash) etc etc etc would all be over!

Hell yeah.. ripples can cripple-s... if ya noe wat i mean..
Hope i've done enough good deeds for God to really and i mean really
take pity on me now. Though i know it will NOT be an entirely smooth
sailing journey selling, buying, backlash, front lash, everywhere lash,
i don't just bat eye-lash and hope to breeze my way through..but it
sure will help if i do get a miracle... a bit oso can lah... oh dear God
believe me, i have done all the work to make it work.. Pity please? :please:

[Funz]

Buds, you can’t possibly be in your 50s rite given that your kids are still so young. And even if you are so wat. Jiang hai shi lao de la. My best employees are those in the late 40s and early 50s. One of my staff just retired, she is in her 70s. So heart pain to lose her.


It will be prudent to have your name in the property. But whether it will make a difference to your PIL’s attitude towards you, big question mark.

Take care and keep your spirits up k.

[buds]

Busymom:

No way! Not trying to kaypoh, but this you have to insist.

I did.

But what future beholds, one will never know, ain't it.
Though i don't go by this, there is such a phrase...
rules/promises are meant to be broken.

Busymom:

There are other options for your PILs to rent temporarily while they find another place to buy. It's all too easy for them to bump in and the ugly task of asking them to leave falls on your shoulders again.

Yes. They have been made known of that. But....

Busymom:

P/S: Is there any way that he could get that place for them (rather than leaving it to them?)

Yes, he can. They would sure be willing to as long as hubs shows them
the money. Money money money. Who doesn't want money... Even the
youngest BIL held out his hand for money when he was told to paint his
own room, during the time we were in the midst of spruce-ing up the plc.

With mindsets of ppl like this... how can this house ever be a home?
It can never be... a home. It will forever be just a house.

[buds]

jedamum:

buds, it DOES make a difference when the role of the 'landlady' is reversed.

But hor, with empress dowager-like disposition like mine...
you'll never know... you'll never know... :xedfingers: Plus,
you oredi know i very soft.

jedamum:

we are moving out, but i am open to PIL shifting in with us again when FIL retires (cos dh is only child);

ILs have 4 children, but by far only hubs is the filial one.

jedamum:

but i think they may be too proud to do so.

I DARE NOT think of this possibility even arising.. cos when it comes
to hubs, well.... you'll never know. That's all i can say.

[buds]

foreverj:

eh jedamum, for some PIL, yes i agree they may show more respect when role of 'landlady' is reversed. but knowing what buds had to go thru, safest is dun let them move into the house!

Not to sound evil, but i do think that's quite right. :siam:

[buds]

jedamum:

foreverj:

eh jedamum, for some PIL, yes i agree they may show more respect when role of 'landlady' is reversed. but knowing what buds had to go thru, safest is dun let them move into the house!

but, how to say 'No'??

:idea: .... yes .... how to say no? Arrrgh! Arrrrggghh! :frustrated:

[buds]

Funz:

Buds, you can't possibly be in your 50s rite given that your kids are still so young.

:oops:

Ermmm... i feel old? :oops:

I feel i have aged over the last decade. :lol:

Thank goodness for KSP.com or else i might've gone :siao: or brain dead!

Funz:

And even if you are so wat. Jiang hai shi lao de la. My best employees are those in the late 40s and early 50s. One of my staff just retired, she is in her 70s. So heart pain to lose her.

So touched!

Tears of joy, k. :lol:

Funz:

It will be prudent to have your name in the property.

Yes, boss! :salute:

Funz:

But whether it will make a difference to your PIL's attitude towards you, big question mark.

Ooooohhh yeah... make that one helluva HUGE question mark!

Funz:

Take care and keep your spirits up k.

I am. Can you tell?

[foreverj]

buds:

jedamum:

[quote=\"foreverj\"]

eh jedamum, for some PIL, yes i agree they may show more respect when role of 'landlady' is reversed. but knowing what buds had to go thru, safest is dun let them move into the house!

but, how to say 'No'??

:idea: .... yes .... how to say no? Arrrgh! Arrrrggghh! :frustrated:[/quote]heh, i think u cannot be soft-hearted. i used to b very accomodating to my dh and his side of the family until one fine day, i realised that the reason i have to fret so much is becos i m always the considerate n accomodating one. so i told dh that i wil no longer accomodate when one incident made me realise they only think and care for themselves and their own interests. i told dh frankly that i finally realised that if i dun stand up for myself, nobody wil. if i m not happy, y should i pretend to be?

knowing that u've been so nice and soft for so many years, i plead u to state your stand once and for all and make a clean break. not that u r not filial and dun want to take care of them, but so that the relationship can improve. in future years, in time to come, should one/both of them ever need your care/help cos grow old and sick, then its easier for u to invite them in and care for them like a dutiful son and DIL. at that age, they r so old that they have likely have no energy to come up with schemes and \"patterns\" and may even be grateful to u as the only one family willing to take them in.

as a suggestion, maybe u should focus on looking for a house for them? so that they have somewhere to \"move\" b4 u look for your own house. not easy but your hubs has to be the one to be \"the bad guy\" to open his mouth to say it. nonetheless it wil come back to u la - cos its always the DILs who are the unfilial ones right?

hope u or more rightly ur hubs can settle this right, else all these painful search for a new house would have been in vain.