In-law problems?

[buds]

Busymom:

No way! Not trying to kaypoh, but this you have to insist.

I did.

But what future beholds, one will never know, ain't it.
Though i don't go by this, there is such a phrase...
rules/promises are meant to be broken.

Busymom:

There are other options for your PILs to rent temporarily while they find another place to buy. It's all too easy for them to bump in and the ugly task of asking them to leave falls on your shoulders again.

Yes. They have been made known of that. But....

Busymom:

P/S: Is there any way that he could get that place for them (rather than leaving it to them?)

Yes, he can. They would sure be willing to as long as hubs shows them
the money. Money money money. Who doesn't want money... Even the
youngest BIL held out his hand for money when he was told to paint his
own room, during the time we were in the midst of spruce-ing up the plc.

With mindsets of ppl like this... how can this house ever be a home?
It can never be... a home. It will forever be just a house.

[buds]

jedamum:

buds, it DOES make a difference when the role of the 'landlady' is reversed.

But hor, with empress dowager-like disposition like mine...
you'll never know... you'll never know... :xedfingers: Plus,
you oredi know i very soft.

jedamum:

we are moving out, but i am open to PIL shifting in with us again when FIL retires (cos dh is only child);

ILs have 4 children, but by far only hubs is the filial one.

jedamum:

but i think they may be too proud to do so.

I DARE NOT think of this possibility even arising.. cos when it comes
to hubs, well.... you'll never know. That's all i can say.

[buds]

foreverj:

eh jedamum, for some PIL, yes i agree they may show more respect when role of 'landlady' is reversed. but knowing what buds had to go thru, safest is dun let them move into the house!

Not to sound evil, but i do think that's quite right. :siam:

[buds]

jedamum:

foreverj:

eh jedamum, for some PIL, yes i agree they may show more respect when role of 'landlady' is reversed. but knowing what buds had to go thru, safest is dun let them move into the house!

but, how to say 'No'??

:idea: .... yes .... how to say no? Arrrgh! Arrrrggghh! :frustrated:

[buds]

Funz:

Buds, you can't possibly be in your 50s rite given that your kids are still so young.

:oops:

Ermmm... i feel old? :oops:

I feel i have aged over the last decade. :lol:

Thank goodness for KSP.com or else i might've gone :siao: or brain dead!

Funz:

And even if you are so wat. Jiang hai shi lao de la. My best employees are those in the late 40s and early 50s. One of my staff just retired, she is in her 70s. So heart pain to lose her.

So touched!

Tears of joy, k. :lol:

Funz:

It will be prudent to have your name in the property.

Yes, boss! :salute:

Funz:

But whether it will make a difference to your PIL's attitude towards you, big question mark.

Ooooohhh yeah... make that one helluva HUGE question mark!

Funz:

Take care and keep your spirits up k.

I am. Can you tell?

[foreverj]

buds:

jedamum:

[quote=\"foreverj\"]

eh jedamum, for some PIL, yes i agree they may show more respect when role of 'landlady' is reversed. but knowing what buds had to go thru, safest is dun let them move into the house!

but, how to say 'No'??

:idea: .... yes .... how to say no? Arrrgh! Arrrrggghh! :frustrated:[/quote]heh, i think u cannot be soft-hearted. i used to b very accomodating to my dh and his side of the family until one fine day, i realised that the reason i have to fret so much is becos i m always the considerate n accomodating one. so i told dh that i wil no longer accomodate when one incident made me realise they only think and care for themselves and their own interests. i told dh frankly that i finally realised that if i dun stand up for myself, nobody wil. if i m not happy, y should i pretend to be?

knowing that u've been so nice and soft for so many years, i plead u to state your stand once and for all and make a clean break. not that u r not filial and dun want to take care of them, but so that the relationship can improve. in future years, in time to come, should one/both of them ever need your care/help cos grow old and sick, then its easier for u to invite them in and care for them like a dutiful son and DIL. at that age, they r so old that they have likely have no energy to come up with schemes and \"patterns\" and may even be grateful to u as the only one family willing to take them in.

as a suggestion, maybe u should focus on looking for a house for them? so that they have somewhere to \"move\" b4 u look for your own house. not easy but your hubs has to be the one to be \"the bad guy\" to open his mouth to say it. nonetheless it wil come back to u la - cos its always the DILs who are the unfilial ones right?

hope u or more rightly ur hubs can settle this right, else all these painful search for a new house would have been in vain.

[buds]

Wei lovekidsverymuch, foreverj is suggesting find for them first then... go

find our own plc. Not chase them outta the house and settle liao.. The
house is also theirs lah wei. Focus. Focus. :lol: Niwae, just to update
house hunting last weekend was again a futile trip. But we spent
quality family time together. Hubs says he loves us a lot more
now too, as compared to last time. I think he oso scared HIS
valuation gonna expire liao. :lol: :love:

[tree nymph]

Buds,

me also trying to get a place to move. But the prices are crazy! Still looking! I missed out on one good house deal (the flat is nice, on good floor good scenery good location - not far from my kids' school). Initially owner wanted to rent out then they changed their mind but didn't think of informing us, then we ask if they wanna sell, but sold one day before we ask. :stupid: :stupid:

so Jia You!

[Funz]

:idea:


I know, buy them a house in JB. Cheap and far.

Possible to sell the existing plc to your PILs? That way they dun have to shift and you need only to hunt for 1 flat/apt instead of 2.

[buds]

tree nymph:

Buds, me also trying to get a place to move. But the prices are crazy!

Yeah boy.. :roll: Tell me about it. Been house hunting for weeks on end
now. We've seen every possible corner within the vicinity of the girls'
school... every 4rm/5rm/Exec Apt/Exec Maisonette! Every corner! &
let's not just talk about sky high valuation at this booming moment,
the COV are seriously EXORBITANT!!! :!: There are people looking @
40k to 60k COV for a 4rm unit and there isn't even a diamond in the
house!

tree nymph:

Still looking!

Yeah. Us too..

tree nymph:

I missed out on one good house deal (the flat is nice, on good floor good scenery good location - not far from my kids' school). Initially owner wanted to rent out then they changed their mind but didn't think of informing us, then we ask if they wanna sell, but sold one day before we ask. :stupid: :stupid:

Yeah, us too..

Then again, even if we secure a unit for ourselves now.. this current plc
is also giving us headache. What with property prices booming we gotta
keep up... there's also listening to the ILs keep asking for $. Sigh.

tree nymph:

so Jia You!

Yap, we jia you together, tree nymph.