Difficult Relationship with Parents

[sakura_2009]

mummy of 2:

Mine is worse. I only see my mother every other week and that is too often for me. That is how bad our r/s is


I do not like to bring my kids to her house as she and my father are always quarrelling. Can hear it the minute we step out of the lift. My kids get scared and ask me why they are so loud. I just want to :siam:

That kind of environment is very different from our own family at home, and I hate showing this other side of my parents to my kids.

geezz..mummy of 2 - when you speak of your mum, it really sounds as though you are talking about MY mum :? During one of the weekend visitation, (as usual), my mum was shouting at my dad (quarelling over a lunch issue, as far as I'm aware). My mum continue shouting at my dad, who unfortunately has some hearing problem, when my son suddently shouted at my mum \" Stop it! Stop it! Grandma!! Why are you shouting like that??\" My DS was just 5 years old that time

[mummy of 2]

Gosh sakura_2009,what you described could have happened at my mum’s place. DS1 (who was about 3) covered his ears to shut out the shouting. Yet they continued shouting at each other.

[autumnbronze]

lovekidsverymuch:

sakura_2009:

I think we all agreed that if we keep talking abt the 'negative' aspects, it wouldn't really help in improving the r/s, isn't it? :roll:

But before those positive thoughts come in u need to pour all the negativity out here so that wat u have is just positivity

Agree with LKVM.

Lets PURGE all this negativity here :sick: so that we can kind of start afresh and move on ... :grphug:

[mummy of 2]

It shows that we have a lot to vent. I guess venting about MIL is common, and sorta accepted but saying bad things about our own mother is totally different. So it's all bottled up

[autumnbronze]

lovekidsverymuch:

autumnbronze:

Lets PURGE all this negativity here :sick: so that we can kind of start afresh and move on ... :grphug:

c how fast the thread has moved till the time u came :celebrate:

I really wanted to start this thread sometime ago ... just didn't know what the response would be lah. Then you all came and support support so there ... :lol:

[autumnbronze]

mummy of 2:

It shows that we have a lot to vent. I guess venting about MIL is common, and sorta accepted but saying bad things about our own mother is totally different. So it's all bottled up

How true, mummy of 2. Hence my hesitation is starting this thread earlier :D, although I have 'vented' here and there in other threads in this forum. We have crossed paths (not meant in the negative sense) I think in some of them.

[sakura_2009]

mummy of 2:

Gosh sakura_2009,what you described could have happened at my mum's place. DS1 (who was about 3) covered his ears to shut out the shouting. Yet they continued shouting at each other.

I told my mum off after that 'shouting' incident and there was peace between my mum and dad for the next 1-2 weeks. But after that, it started all over again during my visits. Even my DS also gave up liao...He simply 'ignore' them and continue watching his TV

In fact he asked me that time why grandma & grandpa always behave like that...I told him sometimes old folks behave like this (errr...dunno how to explain to him otherwise), and he just said he hoped me & daddy don't behave like that when we grow old

[mummy of 2]

I tried asking them to stop when I saw how scared Ds1 was. But they could not hear me due to their own shouting. DH had to shout louder than them to get them to stop :!:


I told them I do not want my kids to be exposed to such situation, and am prepared to stop visiting them if this persist. It still happens but thankfully very rare. I also make it a point not to go too early - just in tme for dinner. After dinner she will disappear to the kitchen instead of spending time with me, my sis and our children. By the time she appears in the living room, we are almost ready to leave.

[sakura_2009]

lovekidsverymuch:

sakura_2009:

he just said he hoped me & daddy don't behave like that when we grow old

thats the whole thing dear... wat ever we might think bout our parents or IL's our kids shouldnt think bad bout them or for us though it is difficult but then its not good to spoil the kids mind with all this negativity.........

You're absolutely right! Its a lucky thing DS seemed to understand that not everyone (or the elderly) behave like that...When we're at home, me & DH :love: more than we argue, so there ...

[mummy of 2]

lovekidsverymuch:

mummy of 2:

By the time she appears in the living room, we are almost ready to leave.

But then wats the point of calling u ppl at her home if she dont wanna talk to u ppl :?

I have no idea too. Considering that we only visit fortnightly, you would think she wants to spend more time with us...well, not her :shock: