In-law problems?
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jedamum:
well my ds feel the opposite...though PIL stay with us...my children especially my eldest ds don't like them esp the grandmother ...he simply dislike her as she act weirdly and he dislike the way she scold the maid...sometime my children will complain to me abt her and then I got no choice (though has the same view as them) but to explain to them and find excuse of her 'behaviour'personal opinions; because of our not-too-close relationship with either our parents or our ILs, we should not deprive them of their deserved status in the family.
my ds1 loves my husband's parents; cos we stay together, and they played and care for him since young. on the other hand, he only visits my parents once a week, so naturally the feeling is different. it came a point when ds1 dreads going to my parents' place; everytime when it's time to visit, he'll asked if his cousin is going (cos got company mah); then i got fedup and gave him a long lecture about how this set of maternal parents although did nothing much for him, is 100% my parents and it is his obligations to visit them regardless of whether it is fun anot. subsequently, it took the death of my father to make him realised and understand the meaning of my words.
Sometime I also cannot stand her :x :x :x
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jedamum,
It’s not really so much as depriving the kids of their status…but it’s just that their paternal grandparents are not warm and the situation is awkward when the grandmother approaches them. I don’t know how to explain it. -
Hi,
I married my husband who is haha so call 25 filial to his parents. I remembered once when his parents malign me and he did not bother to clarify with me and agreed with what his parents said. This has causeda big drift in our relationship. We often get in frequent quarrels and talk less and less. I felt sort of cheated and many a time wanted to go for divorce but KIV because of my daughter. Any advise.winth:
Hi,
Anyone facing in-law issues? Can share personal experience?
DH said I'm considered quite lucky as he has heard very cham (pitiful) stories from his colleagues.
But from my girlfriends, they seem to be having a breeze and upperhand when they handle in-laws leh...
But one thing I know I'm very lucky is that I don't stay with them, bec if I had, maybe I had already :stupid: liao. -
Hi Alison and Welcome
For a start you might want to go thru this whole topic first.... -
Alison:
Hi Alison,Hi,
I married my husband who is haha so call 25 filial to his parents. I remembered once when his parents malign me and he did not bother to clarify with me and agreed with what his parents said. This has causeda big drift in our relationship. We often get in frequent quarrels and talk less and less. I felt sort of cheated and many a time wanted to go for divorce but KIV because of my daughter. Any advise.
Agreed with Auntie M, take some time to read the stories about others, and u MIGHT find that u r the fortunate one.... :love: I used to think i have an unreasonable or OUT OF NOWHERE or something wrong MIL, BUT, after i read this thread (infact i had been avoiding this thread for LONG LONG LONG time, cos i afraid i can't resist and keep on telling my story...
), i find that i am overall the fortunate one as compared to some of the :siao: :siao: :siao: MIL here, (dun need me to list the pathetic DIL here, cos after reading the whole thread, the truth will be out....), I 
for those pathetic DIL.... And on my side, i also learn to close 1 eye.....
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:udawoman: :udawoman: :udawoman:
I thought I had it bad but whatever i read here has made me grateful for my hubby and even my MIL. Compared to the stories I read here, my story is probably the least horrible. But just wanna share my story also because I proved to my MIL I am the DIL from hell. My DH is the only son.
I knew my hubby 8 years before we married so fairly know what kind of MIL i'm getting. We mutually disliked each other but I was trained to respect my elders and hubby would kill me back then if I were to even show a black face.
I understood my MIL would be so angelic and motherly in front of him. Making me look like an incompetent freak compared to her but lucky I fulfill other needs of Hubby!
Behind him, ignore me, treat me like wall like that. Sometimes, give me comments like why are you still around? Anyway, my mum insisted we get married before I go for Uni. I was only 22 then. Graduated recession period, don't say uni, work also cannot get.
Mother came over and bargained like fish monger. Wow! My mother NOW believed me when I told her the stories. Funny you know, my grandma is her MIL from hell, yet she doubted my stories. :roll:
ANyway, wedding day ruined by MIL cousin who we (me and DH) never met, just came to act like big boss and order us around. My mother cried after the wedding because all her hard work ruined by that JERK. Tilll today, say want to do it again. Mum ah, I fat already, got 2 babies, sure cannot fit wedding dress. :roll:
Lucky for me, FIL say move out and suffer on your own. :dancing: all the way to HDB. But I still had to stay with them for 3 months before our flat was ready. I lost 10kg in 3 months, I was depressed and couldn't eat. I cried almost everyday because I couldn't take their lifestyle. Everyday must shout at the top of their lungs, FIL is half :siao: so sometimes okay, sometimes not okay. WHen he's not okay, will open door when we are inside to check what we are doing even middle of night, . Cannot :x mah, he is half :siao: . After a few times, DH stole our bedroom door key from him and always lock when we inside. Every morning, MIL will knock to wake DH up even on Sundays. Will be so loving and caring, prepare breakfast for him, she bo pian, set plate for me also because first time never put plate, DH ask why. :evil:
Actually before DD1 & DD2 come, not so bad. She just treat me invisible when DH not around and pass stupid remarks and comments. AFter DD1 come, I started to hate her. DD1 is first grandaughter but she got grandson already. When I was pregnant, she argue with DH, want us to let her take care of DD1. I that time full of hormones, so brave alittle bit. Say NO! I want my mother to take care. AFter that, I, very scared DH :rant: . Lucky, he didn't. At the hospital, face very black becaoz kena forced to come by DH. Didn't even want to see DD1. :x :x Tigeress emerging oredi. First baby after 12 years in my family and 15 years in DH family so during confinement, every weekend all our relatives come to see baby. My mother was so tired, take care of me and baby and must entertain guest. My MIL MIA. ALso good lah, don't need her to take up space in my house;whenever come to my house, behave like queen. Everything must serve in a platter, Lucky toilet no need to escort. :roll:
Every time after that, when we visit her, never hold DD1 or ask about her. Just ignore me and DD1. From there, DH :!: . WHy his mother like that. I :stupid: but outside 8). But the one I will never forgive MIL is when after a wedding lunch, DD1 had high fever. Told DH, send me to cousin place and then send me home. After that you go home. :!: :!: :!: I wanted to :siam: and go back by taxi, but must respect elders. So keep quiet until we went home. After that, I :nunchuk: with hubby. Even then, he still say he was in the right. He must send them back first before us. I wanted to :torchme: him. After that incident, I was :frustrated: . Even my DD1 very sick also, PIL don't care. But lucky for me after another incident, he woke up. My were answered.
One day, nephew was also visiting my PIL, so MIL dotes on him very much. MIL was feeding him his lunch so DD1 ask for some. She looked at DD1 and said NO! Looked at DD1 like she very dirty and dared to want to share with my nephew. DH :x :x :x shouted from the kitchen, Give her some! My MIL looked horrified but have to give my DD1. From there, DH woke up. When we went home, DH
. Realised that he was wrong all this years about his mother. SO after that, he gave me green light, I became DIL from hell. :rubhands:
Nowadays, I answer back to my MIL and will ignore her if whatever she say is not worth listening. I even scold her if she do something wrong with my DD1 and DD2. Tigress come out oredi. My DD1 and DD2 don't care about her, rarely call her name. My MIL ever asked why they never call her and DH answered back becoz you never call them, never talk to them and never touch or hug them. MIL :oops: but after that I scold DH not to be so harsh. SHe is old and will never change. DH now really bo chup with them. My MIL tone down alot after realising she lost her son without any help from me. I am that DH have to see his mother like that but she was the one who :heartbroken: his heart beyond repair. She tried to be nice to DD1 and DD2 after that but children know when you are sincere, they rarely reciprocate anything she do.
So that's my story. Just a summary of 12 years of relationship with MIL.... -
lovekidsvery much,
Hehehehe.... As long as I don't go over my MIL place. I'm good! :celebrate: everyday that none of our parents live with us..
Thanks for your concern! :love: -
on_plus_kiasu,
Glad things are better for you now, and most importantly, your DH is aware of what happened and is on your side. :celebrate: -
lovekidsverymuch:
on_plus_kiasu, nice that you have shared what u have gone thru as well!! we all r in the same boat and sometimes taking out makes one feel better.. so hopefully u r feeling better today :celebrate:
Eh lovekidsverymuch, but you are not in same boat as us wat.. you are
fortunate to have good ILs and have good relationship with them, right?
:?
So, different boat altogether. Yours must be the Carribean Cruise..
Ours are Penguin nia... go Batam and Bintan kind.. no cruising .. esp
during choppy waters. :lol: -
buds:
thought we are on the sampan? against the current got to grit our teeth and continue to paddle kind??lovekidsverymuch:
on_plus_kiasu, nice that you have shared what u have gone thru as well!! we all r in the same boat and sometimes taking out makes one feel better.. so hopefully u r feeling better today :celebrate:
Eh lovekidsverymuch, but you are not in same boat as us wat.. you are
fortunate to have good ILs and have good relationship with them, right?
:?
So, different boat altogether. Yours must be the Carribean Cruise..
Ours are Penguin nia... go Batam and Bintan kind.. no cruising .. esp
during choppy waters. :lol:
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